Friday, September 2, 2011

...tHe bEsT mE...

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting." ~ E E Cummings

Going to the salon for most women is a very different experience than men. We don't just rush in, get a quick trim, and leave. Most of us spend hours least I do. And I never sit in silence. My hairdresser is like a friend. We talk about all sorts of things...our nights out...break ups. There's pretty much nothing that's off limits. The last time I was in the chair...after we each shared a few ups and downs from the past month...I told my hairdresser that I truly believe if we could really see everyone else's problems, we would probably be more than happy to keep our own. He said, "You are probably right about that!"

I received an email from a friend on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. I was shocked to hear that her beautiful, vibrant daughter had tried to kill herself. Thankfully, she was unsuccessful. ANYONE that saw pictures of this girl smiling...would never expect that. She appears to have not a problem in the world. She's strikingly beautiful and has a family that loves her. I am positive that many girls would look at her and wish they could be her, because they don't see her inner struggles.

Sometimes the girl with the crying inside. Sometimes the guy that has lots of muscles and a handsome fragile and insecure. Sometimes the people that seem to have the perfect life...have more problems than any of us can imagine. It's easy to glamorize other people's lives or bodies...and wish to be a little more like them. We create stories for people all based on what we see on the outside...never really knowing how they feel when they are all alone or what challenges they may be facing.

I think it's easy to do this because then we can feel like we have an excuse. We rationalize our own behavior by saying things like, "I can't go to the gym because I am busy and I have kids and a job and I'm tired." We look at the lady with the great body in workout clothes in the store and think, "It's easy for her. She must not have anything to do but workout." There was a moment a couple of days ago when I felt like the underdog and I wished I could be the person making me feel that way instead. I've since decided that it doesn't matter how much money or fame a person has. I do the things I do here, not for recognition or money, but to help other people. I wouldn't trade that for all the fancy lawyers or magazine photos or money in the world.

Don't fall into this way of thinking like I did. Excuses are for the weak and whining is for babies. Don't ever compare yourself to others or try to be like someone one else. Work on you. Change what you don't like. Correct the mistakes and weaknesses. But most importantly, BE your best. Instead of trying to be like others, become the one that others want to be like!


  1. Thanks....I needed this. Especially today.

  2. Thanks for this Marsha. I recently started shadowing trainers at another gym, along with another woman who is interested in being a trainer there as well. Even after 2.5 years of CrossFit, I still struggle with several movements. This woman can crush them. She kills me every time we workout together and it just makes me feel like crap, but I know it is all in my head. I am doing the best I can and trying to be the best trainer I can. It doesn't keep me from showing up, but it does affect my attitude a bit. I think I am just going to tell my inner nit-picking voice to shut it while I do another round. Thanks:-)

  3. Hey Marsha,

    I've been reading the blog for a while now and it inspires me all the time. Today's post in particular said EXACTLY what I needed to hear! I compare myself to everyone on the planet, and am too busy wanting to be someone else rather than working on being the best me. You're right: excuses get you nowhere.
    Thanks for the much-needed reinforcement and encouragement!!

  4. Good idea Alison! I know first hand how easy it is to say and how very hard it is to put it into practice! We are driven by competition, but we can't let it drive us crazy! Work on going a little faster or lifting a little heavier than YOU did the time before. As long as you are are "winning"! :)

    Kamila~ I'm glad that this came when you needed it! I wrote this and hung on to it for a day. Today seemed like the right time to share it! No more excuses! ;)

  5. Every time you post I get a little more hope for my future, thank you :)