Thursday, September 9, 2010

...wHo iS tHe giRL bEhiNd tHe tAnK?...

Who am I? I've sat at my mac pondering this question for a while. If people are like puzzles, I'm one that not everyone would attempt to put together. I'm a 1000 piece puzzle with lots of intricate pieces. The funny part is that when people first meet me, they think I'm one of those really simple 100 piece puzzles. You know the kind you can dump out of the box and put together in an hour.
Even though at times, it can be frustrating...I kind of like it. I'm aware that what I portray on first glance is a certain image. It's not fake. It is part of who I am, but there is a lot more to me under the surface. People see me with my toned body, blond hair, glossy lips, matching jewelry, tight jeans, high heels, and boobs...and they think they have me figured out. I met a guy, a friend of a friend, several weeks ago that on first meeting him in a parking lot was only around him for about two minutes. Later when we ran into him again at my friend's apartment, he said he had me sized up the minute he saw me. I said, "Oh really? And who is it that you think I am?" He said, "You like to workout. Your husband makes a lot of money. You are bossy and you like to have things the way you like them." You'd think I'd be offended by that. I wasn't. Sounds terrible, right? No, it's not really. He was right about all those things. Unfortunately for him, he only scratched the surface.

It's like taking a lick of the whipped cream on top of a chocolate pie. It's pretty good, but nothing compared to a whole bite of pie with all the different pieces together. There's so many things about me that are different. For example, when I was a little girl, I did not take ballet or tap class. I took Spanish dancing. Yes, little ol blond me took flamenco dancing. I learned how to dance and play the castanets from a lady named Lolita. Really. And I would go to festivals and dance in my dress...with a big my blond hair. I stood out. There was never anyone that looked like me performing and I loved it. That is just one example out of many I could give.

I'm sure when people first saw the picture that started it all...the one of me wearing my "Strong is the new skinny" tank, there were many assumptions made. There has been talk about using "sex appeal" and lots of talk about my now, somewhat famous boobs and that's okay. No one really knows the heart behind the boobs. Everyone sees a 100 piece puzzle. I am going to share my story, my thoughts, my tips, my feelings, my workouts with anyone that reads this. I am going to give you one more piece of the puzzle with each post until it's complete. Some pieces are very intricate and deep, intensely personal. Some pieces are small and simple. Some pieces are exciting and others are not, but it takes all those pieces together to make it complete.

Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to sit in front of a computer screen for hours writing? Why do I want to open myself up to lots of people that could potentially disagree or judge me? I'll tell you why. If I can inspire one person to make the changes that I have made, it is worth it. I went through times as a teenager where I starved myself trying to be "skinny". I have sisters that have struggled with anorexia. I've been fat and felt hopeless. When it comes to body issues, I've seen and felt it all. I am real. Some days I eat things I shouldn't. Some days I don't do as well as I would like to in the gym. Sometimes I pick myself apart and only see my flaws. I won't pretend to be perfect. I'm a regular person with the same struggles everyone else has.

I don't need to weigh 115 lbs to be beautiful. I don't need to be super model skinny to look good. I have found what works for me...what has helped me become the strong, healthy, fit person that I am today. I feel more confident and beautiful at almost 41 than I ever felt at 25 and I want to share the things I've learned with other people. For me, becoming strong on the outside has made me stronger on the inside. And that is why for me, strong is the new skinny.

And so the roller coaster ride begins. As Bette Davis said, "Buckle up! It's going to be a bumpy ride!"



  1. Amazing lady I could not have said any of that better and it is amazing because it does give the whole story of the puzzle .... the trick is getting the pieces and putting it together!!!! Some people will get all of them some will only get some .... it's all about how it's put together and I can't wait to read this every day!!! I am excited and I love you!!!!

  2. I read your interview and found the link for your blog from there. Go you! I saw your before pic and wow! I consider myself about halfway there. I was chatting with a friend the other day about CF and how much I love it. She said something that really stuck. She was so proud of me for taking action now. Most ladies she knows wait until their kids are 8 or 9 to start "getting back in shape". Holy cow. That would be 6 years from now! I'm so glad that something just "clicked" for both of us!

  3. Thanks sis! You are the best!!!

    I so appreciate that Jenn! You are doing great!!! And if I waited til my youngest was 8 or 9, I would JUST NOW be getting started! I'm glad that we didn't wait. I've taken the journey so I understand and I'm always here to help. :)

  4. Linked over indirectly through facebook. You are an inspiration. Every. single. piece. of the puzzle.

  5. Inspirational. Put a before pick on your side bar to help people know where you started. Googled images and keworded paleo and saw your pic and clicked and found you that way. No pain no gain.

  6. I look forward to your posts. I feel so much different about myself after reading them-all of them dig deep into my mind. This one could apply to many women and I wish they could feel the way you write. Myself included. I don't always feel like I'm doing the right thing because I constantly compare myself to others. But, your posts re-instill the thought within me, that I have to do what is right for me, and be the best me. Thank you for doing what you do!!

  7. I've 'liked' your FB SINS page for a while now, and have taken inspiration from many of your posts and I have my SINS shirt. But I have to say, in this post you've really out done yourself! It's undoubtably hard to share good and bad about ourselves, espcially with the whole world, that really takes a strong woman not only physically but mentally as well.

    And 41 years old? Get out of here you! You look like exactly what you are - Fabulous!

    So at 6.30am tomorrow when I'm doing Fran for the first time, I'll take inspiration to get it done from you!

  8. I am raising my glass to you!!
    Here is to being 'normal'!!
    'Normal' should be about being beautiful on the inside, being 'real', and being the wonderful, adaptive, and diverse humans that we are!

    The one thing I hope I am teaching my children is that 'to live' is 'to try'. Society's use of the word 'failing' needs to be changed from a negative that holds you back to a positive step towards a goal. Equally, pioneers (such as yourself) need to continue to challenge society's ridiculous quest for perfection.

    Life is about participating.. being scared, making mistakes and working towards goals that make us happy ... and accepting that everyone is created equal. We are all human! ;-)

    Love, peace and happiness