Wednesday, July 25, 2012

...Labels...

Are YOU guilty of this?  Do you quietly judge and label people?  We all know that "you can't judge a book by it's cover", yet we still do it.  We've all probably been misjudged at one time or another ourselves and felt the sting, disappointment, and frustration that goes along with that, yet we do it to others.  We think that our own experiences make us experts on how people are and how things should be.  And when we do this...we are WRONG.

Don't assume people that are overweight are lazy.  Don't assume that people that are thin are full of themselves.  Don't assume that fat people are miserable and skinny people are happy.  Don't confuse the size of clothing that someone may wear with their level of confidence.  Don't think that because a woman is thin and beautiful that there's not more substance to her.  Don't label a woman that may not be as classicly beautiful and thin as being insecure or careless about her appearance.

Simply put, we are all different.  I have long blonde hair and big boobs.  I wear a bikini to the beach and I have nice things.  That doesn't make me any worse than anyone else.  Nor does it make people that choose to wear no makeup or cover up a little more better.  From afar, people could make many judgements...and have.  I've been told my whole life that people think I'm stuck up when they first see me.  I've been called bitchy because of the car I drive.  I've been called skinny on days that I looked in the mirror and felt fat.  I have faked confidence at times when I have felt scared and insecure.  People that stick around and don't hold on to labels see past the outside and realize that their original judgements are usually incorrect.

I feel blessed to have had the experience of being overweight.  I've literally lived life on both sides of the spectrum.  It creates an awareness in me that not everyone gets to experience.  I know firsthand that being overweight does NOT mean you are lazy or don't care about how you look.  It doesn't mean that you are passive.  I've been very thin...much thinner than I am now...and so I also know firsthand that being thin is not an automatic ticket to happiness and confidence.  Being thin does NOT mean that you don't eat or that you think you are better than others or that you are bitchy and superficial.

We need to stop taking sides.  There's no "us against them"...no fat vs skinny!  We are all people and that has NOTHING to do with size either way.  We need to throw away the labels and misconceptions.  We need to realize that many times our judgements come from a place of insecurity within ourselves.  The next time you see someone different than you, lose the urge to label them and be strong and secure enough in yourself to get to know them first.

12 comments:

  1. We've been raised in a society that judges and categorizes people. It's such a difficult habit to break. Sometimes we do it without thinking. This is definitely something I've been working on. I've been overweight since I was in elementary school and over time, I just started judging people because I felt judged (and I was judged by people - bullied). I always thought I would be happier if I was skinny. However, as I'm going through my weight loss journey, I'm finding happiness in changing the way I view and eat food and also getting more active (even at my current size). It's a long process.

    Thank you for your insight!

    Kristen
    http://highsandlowsofthescale.blogspot.com

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  2. Rhonda from TexasJuly 25, 2012 at 1:46 PM

    Well said. I have a body, but I am not my body. My true Self is housed in this body and because I love myself, I make Self-honoring choices most of the time. Feeling great, getting strong and healthy is a process not perfection.

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  3. I am not very tall, and tend to build muscle rather quickly. My father told me I have good breeding hips (he meant it as a compliment, really.) I have been told that, based on my appearance it's clear I am "naturally very mothering." This could not be further from the truth if I tried. My favorite work out friend is six feet tall. Literally. She has the body and face of a super model. I have watched other women at the gym give her the meanest looks, heard them say horrible, mean, rude about her physique things loudly as they walk past. She has been accused of having an eating disorder (she downs about 5,000 calories a day), and has been called names for the majority of her life simply based on her body type. She is the kindest, sweetest, most caring individual I know. She judges no one, she only encourages personal growth and development. I love this post. Thank you for writing it!

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  4. Well, one label applies to you Marsha, you are beautiful INSIDE AND OUT. Thanks for all you give to us, especially your smile!

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  5. I agree with most everything you've said. But I have to admit, when I see an overweight person in a grocery store, sitting on a riding cart, and loading up their cart with tons of junk food... yep, I tend to start the whole "labeling" thing. Actions speak rather loud at times. (And frankly, I resent having a role to play regarding their medical bills, the effects on insurance premiums, etc., due to their poor health and bad eating choices.) Overall, yes, total agreement that the cover doesn't tell the whole story. I've been misjudged too. Continue to be.

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  6. Beautifully said! Thanks, Marsha.

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  7. Wow, what a powerful image. Great post!

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  8. You are spot on! I've been speaking the past 2 weeks on EXACTLY this topic! Ironically, I begin by inviting the crowd to "Judge me..." and then proceed to tell MY story...every time I have people either shout from the crowd or come up to me after and say "I would have never guessed that about you!" BOOM, my point exactly! I actually have them sign a contract that includes being authentic and looking past others outward appearance and think about the other persons "story" they may have lived to bring them to where they are today.

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  9. Happiness is a inside job not a outside job. You can lose weight but if you feel crappy on the inside because you lost weight in a unhealthy matter. Whats the point in losing weight? I thought you'll losing weight to improve your health to have a better quality of life.

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  10. I just found your blog on Facebook! I love it! This is how I am feeling! I started this journey about a year ago and have stayed the course! Thanks for your encouraging posts! I Love Them! :) You are an inspiration!

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  11. FYI - Men have only 2 labels for other guys...

    1. Good guy
    2. Asshole

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