Tuesday, May 29, 2012

...sToP iT!...

Sometimes the best advice is simple advice.  People look to therapists and books and friends for great revelations to problems that we know the answers to deep down inside ourselves.  I experienced this recently after I had breakfast with my friend, Wes.  He started out as my personal trainer 5 or 6 years ago (I can't even remember how long it's been now), but ended up my dear friend.  We met to discuss our training, but it ended with me telling him about some situations in my life that have really been weighing me down.  He listened as he always does even when I know it must sound ridiculous.  He tried to interject here and there, but he mostly listened.

We finished and moved out to the parking lot where we continued to talk (at least I did).  I said, "I don't know what to do!  I don't know how to get out of this situation that frustrates me and makes me so unhappy!"  Wes said, "Yes.  You do."  I never skipped a beat and continued with a list of excuses and rationalizations.  I noticed that he was writing something down on the notepad he had.  He turned it over and showed it to me.  It said "STOP IT!"  Then, he tore it off and gave it to me.

We said our goodbyes and I drove home.  I kept thinking about his advice.  What kind of advice is that?!?  STOP IT???  It's so much more complicated than that.  The funny thing about me and Wes is that I really like to be right, and many times he and I agree but when we don't...try as I might to prove him wrong...he ALWAYS ends up being right.  I tried to think of every reason why that advice would not work, but in the end, once again he was right.

All the excuses I had for why I couldn't "STOP IT!" were invalid.  The only reason I can't stop is because I've been refusing to stop.  And I've been refusing to stop...because as much as I say I don't like it...I don't WANT to stop or I would.  It made me think about other situations in my life and I realized that this simple advice was all I needed.  If something is not working in my life, if I'm doing things that are making me happy, or allowing people to treat me in ways that I don't like...I need to stop it.  I need to say "No."  I need to walk away or limit my exposure to people or places or things that do not ADD to the value of my life.  I am in control of me and I choose what I do.

If you have situations similar to mine in your life where you know things are not right, take the focus off others and take an honest look at YOURSELF.  If you are seeing no results from the work you do in the gym after a reasonable period of time, STOP what you are doing and do something different.  If you are around people that bring you down or make you feel drained and sad, STOP it and walk away.  If you are not losing weight, look at what you are eating and how often you are working out.  STOP eating crap or doing the same thing you've done and expecting different results!  As you face situations in life...whether it's the need to lose weight, or the desire for happier, healthier relationships, or the goal of getting stronger...deep down, you know what to do.  If you are unhappy, you are on the wrong track.  You have to sit and evaluate WHY you are doing (or not doing) what you know you should to be happier, healthier, and stronger.  Changing our lives and becoming happier and stronger is not as complicated as we make it out to be.  STOP doing the wrong things and start doing the right things.  It really IS that simple.


  1. Oh goodness how I needed this today. Thank you for sharing!!!

  2. Thanks, Marsha. This blog post was a topic of discussion between myself and another fan of your blog. It spoke to both of us and we know all too well, STOP IT sounds easy but never is....although it truly is!

  3. Good, Marsha -- no, great post. So relevant and eye-opening, even when we KNEW that truth all along.

    It's been dormant inside us, and this is the wakeup call.

    You're blessed to have a friend like Wes. Really blessed.