Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Learning to be grateful...

 We all do it.  We take things for granted that we just assume will always be there.  I have.  I have many times...in many areas of my life.  I always appreciate things as I am working towards them, but then when I get to my destination...I suppose I become complacent.

I'm not an athletically talented person.  In fact, I'm a hot mess in the gym at times.  I'm clumsy and uncoordinated...inflexible and easily frustrated.  Every movement...every success I've had in the gym...comes solely from hard work and determination.  As a result, I have always been very excited and grateful when I first mastered each movement that is difficult for me.

It's been a while since I've had to learn new movements myself.  I spend my days teaching and correcting other people's movements.  I guess I began to take what I am able to do for granted.  I would do what we all do from time to time...whine about a workout or find excuses to skip.  I always knew that tomorrow was a new day and I could start fresh.  I never thought about the possibility that maybe some "tomorrow" would come where I was no longer physically able to do what I wanted, but unfortunately for me it did.  I broke my wrist in the gym and nothing there has been the same.

I remember lying in the emergency room alone the morning I drove myself there after falling in the gym.  I felt so frustrated and alone.  I wanted to cry but I was determined to remain as tough as possible in front of the doctor and nurses there.  I couldn't help but think, "Why me?  Haven't I had more than my fair share of struggles in the past year?!?", but we all know that kind of thinking doesn't accomplish anything worthwhile so I tried to quickly dismiss it and be as positive as possible.  It's a setback and I WILL heal, so I went forward committing to myself that I would do my best to continue to workout in whatever capacity I could.

In the weeks since it happened, I have continued to work out.  I have had to adjust and scale movements, but I'm still working hard.  I get funny looks when I go into a gym or run on a trail with a cast or now brace.  I worry a lot about where I will be and how much I might loose by the time I'm fully healed.

Everything has changed.  Things that use to be easy are hard.  I've had to learn to live with one hand to do the work of two.  The funny thing is that the harder I struggle...the more I appreciate the task.

I got an answer to the question I asked myself on the hospital bed that morning.  "Why me?"...because I needed to be reminded just how precious it is to be able to walk in a gym and pick up a barbell.  I needed to find the humility that I once had...many years ago when I myself was just learning.   I took my ability to do anything that I wanted to do in the gym for granted.

These days, I long to do things that I once did.  I watch people in the gym sweating and struggling with barbells and I can hardly stand it, because I want to do the same.  My wrist may be broken, but my spirit is unbroken.  I hate being hurt.  I hate being held back.  I hate the pain and fear of the unknown, but I'm grateful in some strange way.

I'm grateful because my perspective is forever changed.  I now know that working out is not a chore or a burden.  Working out is a privilege and that is how we should treat it.

15 comments:

  1. Reading your blog has been inspiring as I've had to deal with a broken toe (yes, it's a small bone, but a MAJOR pain) for seven months now. Just when it started to heal it broke again. I've been patient or so I thought and I've had to alter a lot of the things I do too. I'm a runner so when I was told I couldn't run for two months back when it first happened I was extremely upset. But I pulled through it just to find out it wasn't healing! The doctor's have allowed me to run so long as I do my best to keep it as cushioned as possible and relax it when I have the chance. All I can do is be me, alter some exercises and the places I run (and the shoes I wear) and hope that it'll finally heal!! LOL! But I'm just like you when it comes to wanting to push myself when I see others able to do so at the gym, on the machines or in a race. I wish you a speedy recovery!!! You can get through it!

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  2. Fantastic! I fall a lot and hurt my legs, I now have some kind of nerve damage in one leg and it will probably ail me the rest of my life. No more running (though that was never my favorite thing to do) but I can be grateful that I can walk and the elliptical helps me get in more cardio too. It certainly is frustrating whenever there's an injury.

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  3. Hi
    I broke my clavicle on monday (motorbike accident). It didnt stop me going to the gym pulling sleds the day after, i will continue to do so throughout my revovery! People see me and call me crazey just because they wouldnt do the same themself! Im determined to reach my dream no matter how long it will take or how hard it is eventually i will get there! and i will do so enjoying everysingle step! but thanks strong is the new skinny for the additional motivation :)

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  4. it's only a broken wrist you know...not some fateful illness...it's not like you're gonna die

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  5. Marsha...just wondering how you are healing up and if things have been back to normal?

    Hope you are well. Great blog post! (well, not great that you suffered this kind of injury but your words are uplifting)

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  6. Hi Marsha, I just found your site through a friend and what perfect timing. This past Saturday 6/1, I severely sprained my ankle at the gym. I went through the same emotions you did while I was at the hospital waiting to hear if I had broke it. I have cried a couple times since over the fear that while I need it to heal, I will get fat and lose all my conditioning. The fear still dogs me. I have always been grateful for my ability to move but I realize that I workout more out of fear of what will happen if I don't workout. I have been thinking for a long time that I don't want to be driven by fear. My fear pushed me to perhaps to over train which led to this injury. I want to be driven by love. Love of who I am, how I am built and what I am capable of. This is a daily struggle of acceptance. Thank you for your FB page and blog.

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  7. It's a shame something bad has to happen before we can be grateful.

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  8. Thank you- this is something I needed to hear today. I hope your injury heals quickly!

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  9. Your story is so inspiring! I hope you'll follow back at www.thegymbunny.com

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  10. Did you take the cast off?Hope you feel better and dont have any pain.

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    1. Yes I did! I have had a couple of injuries since, but I'm fixing myself one by one and looking forward to the day that I can get back to where I was! :)

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  11. Did you break yourr wrist again?

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  12. No…I tore the tendon and have severe tendonitis on the other elbow and now I've torn my meniscus. Never had serious injuries before but this year I've been a hot mess!!! :/

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  13. You are a very beautiful woman and you lookrd gorgeous with the pink cast.Hope this year will have less injuries.

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