...pLaNNiNg fOr mY "rOaDtRiP" iN 2012...

Making real improvements in your life can be the simplest, most complex, easiest, hardest thing in the world.  It all depends on how you approach it.  I am a stubborn person by nature, and I have always been resistant to change.  I think this is in part because I don't like being told what to do and in part because I am a perfectionist and I can hardly bear the thought of looking stupid or the out of control feeling of not knowing what I'm doing.

This personality trait paired with a fear of failure can make change complicated and hard.  There have been many times in my life where I put myself down or essentially gave up on my self because I quit when things were not going as I expected or wanted them to.  This is a fast track to disappointment and frustration and I don't now about you...but most of us have plenty of that in our lives without bringing it on ourselves!

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.  I've even repeated a few, but no matter what...win or lose...succeed or fail...I've learned something.  Negativity and doubt will build a wall that stands between us and the changes we want to make.  Calling yourself fat won't make you thinner.  Telling yourself that you can't won't get you closer to your goals.  Making excuses and trying to find shortcuts doesn't make growth any easier.  This doesn't mean we should allow ourselves to fail without trying or lull ourselves into thinking that this is the way things are and change is impossible.  What it does mean is that if you want to get somewhere, you need a plan...a map of sorts.

You need to treat change like you would a road trip.  You don't jump in a car and drive off without making sure you have gas or anything else you may need along the way, and you certainly don't start driving somewhere you've never been before without some sort of directions.  There are maps, navigation, friends and acquaintances that may have traveled the same road that can all offer you a clear cut path towards your final destination.

I decided to really change my diet this next year.  My life has felt very out of control in some ways over the past year and I feel ready for a change...a true, lasting change.  I think the discipline and lessons I learn, along with the possibility of physically feeling better will help me not just physically or with my diet alone, but in many aspects of my life.  I'm setting out on a road that I've never traveled.  In the past I tried to be all liberated and do it myself without help, but in the end I found myself anything but liberated from the place or behaviors I was trying to escape.  This time, I want to be smart.  I want to set myself up to succeed rather than doom myself to failure.  I am going to make a menu and get the "fuel" I need ahead of time.  I am not going to focus on what I'm giving up, but what I can gain and the example that I can be to others.

So here I go.  January 2, 2012 is the first day of what I hope ends up being a long, enjoyable, successful trip to better health!  I invite anyone that wants to join me "virtually" to come to the group page I've made on Facebook, STRONG LOLA 30 DAY CHALLENGE, and follow along.  You don't have to know it all or be an expert.  You just have to be willing to do something different and not too proud to ask for "directions".  I will put some links to helpful information here below the post!  New year!  New YOU!

STRONG LOLA 30 DAY CHALLENGE


For information on the Paleo diet, how to get started, what to eat and NOT eat, etc click the links below:

WHOLE 9

BALANCED BITES

21 DAY SUGAR DETOX

PRACTICAL PALEOLITHIC

...WHO'S LOLA?...

I never wanted to be a business person. That's just not me. I'm a creative person that loves people. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I knew that no matter what...I wanted a job where I could help people in some way. I dropped out of college as a social work major when I got married to work and put my husband through school. I never expected to be anything more than a Mom once I started having my children. If anyone would've told me that I would be writing and designing and selling t shirts to motivate people even 2 years ago...I would've laughed and said "NO WAY!". And I would've really never believed that I would start my own business in the process. I'm messy. I keep terrible records. Math and accounting and organization are not my strong points, but our lives take unexpected twists and turns. And so...through a series of twists and turns, and because of one picture of a tank top I made that said "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY" got so much attention on Facebook...here I am today with my own tiny little business called "Strong Lola". Many people have wondered and asked about the name. I've heard, "What's the significance of the name of your business? Does it mean something? And who IS Lola anyways?" So with the recent launch of my website for "Strong Lola", I thought I'd share a little bit about "Lola"...who she is...and why I have such an affection for her that I named my business after her.

I've often said that my life may be crazy and full of chaos at times, but it's never boring. I am one of six children in a crazy, loud, sometimes tragic, loving family. Growing up, my 2 younger sisters and I were all so close in age that we were built in playmates...and not much has changed as we've grown up. The 3 of us are still the best of friends. We fight and makeup and we get annoyed with each other. But in the end, we are as close as can be. We go out together every weekend and share lots of laughter and adventures. It was on one of those nights that I became "Lola".


Last year, my sister Kathy and I had gone to hear our friends and their band play live music outside of a local restaurant with another friend of ours. It was a warm summer night...perfect weather to sit with friends and listen to music outside. The place we went had picnic tables outside for seating and there was an area in front of the stage for dancing. I personally love to people watch and there was one person in particular that caught my eye that night...a woman.

I say this at the risk of sounding like a superficial witch, but she wasn't that attractive and she was a little overweight. No one would ever see this woman and say "Wow! She's beautiful! I want to look like her.", but that's not what I noticed. What caught my eye was the way she was dancing and the way she carried herself. She was dancing with the man that she was there on a date with. Her eyes NEVER left his. She twirled around as if she were a tiny dancer with a perfectly toned body. It was obvious that she felt no discomfort or embarrassment. She was so free and at ease and it wasn't because she was drinking either. She was completely sober.

The more I watched her...the more I was intrigued and drawn to her. In fact, I began to feel a little jealous. It seems crazy for me to say that I was jealous of her...that for a moment I wanted to be that very imperfect lady dancing and laughing...but she looked so sure of herself. She wasn't looking around, and she certainly wasn't worried about what other people thought. I turned to my sister and our friend and said, "Wow! Do you see that lady?" They said "Yes.". I said, " If I had HALF her confidence...I could take over the world!" I wished that I could be more like that.

Later on, she and her boyfriend struggled to take a picture of themselves at the table right behind ours. My sister that never meets a stranger and will talk to anyone, offered to take one of them. Then she introduced herself. "Hi! My name is Kathy." The woman smiled and said, "Nice to meet you! I'm Lola." Through our conversation, we learned that the man she was on a date with had been her husband many years ago. They had been divorced for over 10 yrs and had reconnected. Neither ever had children or remarried and even though they had once failed...they were giving their relationship a 2nd chance.

I said, "I love the name Lola! I wish I had a cool name like that!" and that was the night my sister and friend nicknamed me "Lola". I loved it, because to me...I associate that name with someone that is happy and confident...someone comfortable in their own skin and willing to take chances...someone determined and not afraid to go after what they want in life, even if there are risks. So when I started thinking about starting a business where I could expand upon what I am doing at "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY"...I wanted to choose a name that seemed appropriate. I thought about all the obvious choices, but none seemed to fit. It was almost like naming a baby. I wanted the name to represent all that I wanted my business to be about. One night as I was reading an old note my friend had written to me..."Lola"...it made perfect sense! "Strong Lola" would be the name of my business.


I knew that "Strong Lola" was a name that people would either really like or think was weird. I knew that everyone would say "Who's Lola?" or wonder quietly why I would choose that name...but I also knew that this was the perfect name because it embodies EVERYTHING that I want myself and other women to be! "Lola" is a woman that loves life. "Lola" is kind, but she's not a pushover. "Lola" is true to her heart and carries herself with confidence. "Lola" has goals...a purpose in life...and she isn't afraid to go after what she wants. "Lola" seizes the opportunities that come her way, and "she" doesn't give up or lose hope. "Lola" is comfortable in her own skin but is always seeking to be better...to improve. Combine all these qualities with a strong will and mind...and a healthy, fit, strong body...and I believe this kind of person CAN conquer the world in her own way!

I want the people that follow me on Facebook and my blog to feel empowered...not in a figurative, "rah rah", feel good kind of way...but in the truest sense. I want women and girls to know that you don't have to be perfect or the ideal of what other people think of as pretty to be beautiful. The woman I saw the first time I looked at Lola and the woman I saw by the end of the night were very different. She became beautiful to me in her own way. I also want to change the way women treat each other and THEMSELVES. I want us to stop hating ourselves because we don't look like THAT girl over there and learn to improve upon who we are and what we have. I want women to take care of their bodies and be healthy without feeling guilty or selfish. There is no age limit or boundaries. ANYONE can change. ANYONE can be better and stronger. It's never too late to become more like "Lola"!

I still think about that lady I met a couple of years ago when I'm having a day that I want to quit...or when I'm worried about what everyone around me thinks...or I don't like the imperfections I see in the mirror. Those days, I tell myself..."Remember who you are! You are Lola and you are strong! There is no goal too lofty or problem too big to overcome." "Lola" is my nick name...my alter ego of sorts...but I'm willing to share it with anyone that wants to share it. "Strong Lola" embodies everything that I have done with "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY" and they fit together perfectly. So, let's all be more like "Lola" and work towards being stronger and happier and more confident than we ever thought possible.

...DiFFiCuLty aNd oPPoRtuNitiEs...

"In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity." ~Albert Einstein

Many times we avoid things that are difficult. We want to avoid the pain and hard work...not realizing the good that can come from it! I often think about my personal journey and the changes I made. I don't think I could've been ANY sadder than I was during that time in my life. I remember how far I had to fall, before I was able to try and get back up.

I was always "together". I've NEVER been one to skip showers or go around without makeup...even when my kids were babies. I got to the point where I was so depressed that I wasn't taking showers and I cried all the time. I would come home from dropping kids off at school and preschool and sob sitting in my car in the garage. To say that I was in the "midst of difficulty" feels like an understatement, but those were definitely difficult times.

I remember the night my husband came home from work and as usual...the kids were going crazy and there was no dinner. I was crying and I asked him to come talk to me. I told him that I needed help. And just to be clear...I don't ask for help...EVER...so this was strange. I told him i felt I needed to see a doctor but that I was too distracted and fragile to even make an appointment. He agreed to make the appointment for me, and that first visit was one I will never forget. I felt like a prisoner...ready and wanting to escape the minute anyone turned their head. When the doctor asked me what was wrong, I started to sob uncontrollably. He wrote furiously on my chart. He prescribed me an anti depressant, which helped in some ways, and made things worse in others.

I never told anyone but close family that I had to take medication. I was so embarrassed about it and was afraid that people would judge me, but I feel like other people need to know that it is okay to seek help in whatever form you need and there is no need to feel ashamed. The initial medication took me from crying all the time...to sitting in a stupor...only to gain even more weight. I needed some immediate help, so it was okay for a short time, but I had to eventually have the medication switched and then shortly thereafter was when I was out from under the fog of depression and I could start to make decisions that would change me and the course of my life forever.

I will not get into the exact details of the steps I took today, but I started slow...with one small goal at a time. I started at 200 lbs and so my goal was to get in the 190s. When I hit the 190s, my goal was to get in the 180s. I took baby steps and I'll be honest...it wasn't all sunshine and roses. I did it on my own. I had no trainer or anyone to motivate me or give me advice. I had to figure it out as I went along. In the beginning I didn't lose weight quickly and I felt discouraged at times...but all I could think was that even if I wasn't losing...I was no longer gaining and so I continued my program. Eventually...because I stuck with it...I saw great success.

It was a long hard year of high highs and low lows. I have thought about it at times I wondered why...why I didn't do something when I was only 20 lbs overweight...why I waited until it was so difficult. Contrary to what people may think...I do not regret the way things happened. I NEEDED to be miserable and it NEEDED to be difficult in order for me to truly dig in and embrace the journey. In the midst of my difficulty, I saw opportunity and I grabbed it and held on to it. I would not be the person I am today or have made such strides if things had not happened the way they did and so I am grateful for those difficulties.

"Rock bottom" or difficulties...whatever you wanna call it...is different for each person. Some people may not have to get to the level I was at to be uncomfortable enough to change, but here's the point I want to make: Those low, difficult times...the times that I felt like I was looking at a stranger in the mirror...the times I could see no happy future...the times I could hardly stand to carry my child up the stairs...the times I was treated badly in stores...were a blessing of sorts because they allowed me to gain a desire for change which lead me to seize the opportunity.

Do not feel as though it is impossible to change. Whether you have 100 lbs to lose or 10 lbs to lose...you can do it. Whether you work, or have children, or bad genetics, or anything else in your life that make it hard to get started...doesn't matter. The time to grasp the opportunity is NOW. I will never tell you it will be easy. It's not, but it IS possible to change regardless of your situation. You'll look back later and be grateful for the journey if you do and you will feel proud when you look in the mirror and know that YOU did the work and YOU made a change for the better. Look at the difficulties in your life as a catalyst for change. Find the opportunity waiting for you and make a change.

...a foRcE tO bE reCkoNeD wiTh...

YOU are a force to be reckoned with.

When hard times come...your shoulders are strong enough to carry the weight.

When you face a mountain of adversity or a seemingly unsurpassable plateau...your legs have the energy you need to get you to the other side.

When you get knocked down or people push you aside...your feet stay steady and you continue on no matter how many times you have to stop.

When the pressures of life are bearing down on you...your back is sturdy and your will is unyielding.

When those you love are suffering or have fallen down, you are there...steadfast...ready to offer a helping hand or pick them up with strong arms if need be.

When it would be easier to quit, or skip the gym, or grab fast food...your willpower and determination are relentless.

No one can break your spirit or take away your dreams. No one can stop you but you...because you are a force to be reckoned with! Be a force for good in your life and in the lives of others.

...peRfeCtLy iMpeRfeCt...

So today is a departure from my regular positive effort. Today is just me...venting...being real. I tell people all the time that the most frustrating thing about being a trainer especially when it comes to complicated movements...like Olympic lifts...is this: I have been to the classes. I know what to look for and the words to say. I can watch people and see what they are doing wrong, but when I personally stand in front of the bar to do the same lifts...despite ALL the knowledge and hours in training courses run by great coaches...I am still a human being with flaws and I make mistakes too. Just because I KNOW what to do, doesn't mean I always do things right.

I would describe myself as perfectly imperfect...a Monet painting of sorts. From afar I look together, beautiful, like I have it all...but much like those paintings, it's an illusion of sorts. When you get real close...well, depending on the day...I can be a real mess. I'm distracted and forgetful. I'm the smartest airhead ever, and news flash...as much as I want to be healthy...at times I find myself sitting in Whataburger chowing down a Whataburger with cheese while drinking a Diet Dr Pepper. I lose my temper...speak before I think...and I don't get near enough sleep.

It's hard to be a perfectionist in an imperfect body especially when you want to be able to be positive and uplifting. So while I usually try to have something thought provoking and upbeat to say so that I can help other people...today it's about me being ME. The veil is down and the "Wizard" is revealed for a moment.

These are MY REAL life pseudo motivating thoughts after a really long night of working at my computer and an especially CRAP-TASTIC morning! The Japanese proverb says "Fall seven times, stand up eight." Well, I say that when you fall down...sometimes you just need to take a moment and lie there. Maybe you need to figure out how you got there and think about what you need to do in order to stay upright, because let's be honest...falling down SUCKS! It hurts! Or maybe you need to lie there and laugh for a minute. Who cares if people see you looking like a fool! Cut yourself a break and then dust yourself off and get back up and go again!

Someone once said, "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places." This meaning that if we want to succeed. we have to keep going...and for the most part, that is true...but let me offer another suggestion. Sometimes when we are on the road to success and we come across a "parking place"...maybe we just need to pull in and take a little break for a minute. Maybe we need to take another look at the "map" and make sure we haven't taken a wrong turn before we head back out full speed ahead! Along the same lines, there's a Buddhist saying that says, "If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking." Well, sometimes we are facing in the right direction but we come across people that want to trip us or we find ourselves staring at a wall of adversity. If you come to a wall and keep walking, you will expend a lot of energy and get nowhere. You have to be prepared and strong enough to climb the wall or smart enough to realize that it's time to go around the wall and do something different. I'm not a person that advocates quitting, but every now and then...when something is just not working...you HAVE to change course if you want to keep moving forward.

So what's my point with all this? Life is not perfect and neither am I. Chances are that if you are reading this, you are not perfect either. Because if you were...you probably couldn't stand to read my drivel. It's okay to NOT be perfect. Even people on magazines have cellulite. They just have photoshop to help them out a little. And guess what...even the greatest athletes miss the pass or stumble at times. Motivational speakers get sad, and good people question their faith. It's not about whether or not you struggle or fall or keep walking...it's about doing better and not letting those things bring you down permanently or give you an excuse to quit altogether.

Moment of honesty...I have had a terrible day...a really REALLY terrible day! I felt like I had fallen...and I couldn't get up...and even though I can see the humor now, there was nothing particularly funny about it at the time. There have been a few moments since I opened my eyes that I have wanted to not just pull into a "parking place along the road to success" but veer off the road altogether and drive to a beach in Mexico with my middle finger in the air. But here's the thing, I allowed myself to stay down until I felt ready to stand back up. I didn't run away to Mexico like I wanted. I gave myself permission to have a bad day and be IMPERFECT. And even though my day has been off track and not at all what I had planned...I'm back up on my feet and I'm ready to face whatever comes next. I guess I should be embarrassed to admit all this, but truthfully, I'm not. It takes courage to keep going when things get rough. I could sit around wishing I were more like other people, but that does me no good. I am me and I have to accept myself in spite of my flaws. No matter what has come my way...or how badly I may have handled it...I'm still going and you can keep going on days like this too!

...cOnSeQueNcEs...

The other night...as I was lying in bed...I started thinking about CHOICES. I was thinking about how EVERY choice we make, big or small, has a consequence and the ability to change the course of our lives. Most of the time, we think of consequences as a negative thing. If we break the law, the consequence is a ticket or worse. If we misbehave as a child, the consequence is a punishment. If we fill our lives with chaos and people that bring us down or drain us, the consequence is unhappiness and stress. If we eat too much, the consequence is weight gain. It's hard not to see choices as a burden when you look at it that way. It makes life a drudgery. We begin to do the right things for the wrong reasons. We choose better out of fear.

That can be changed, if you change the way you look at choices. When we do what is right, we get to lie down at night feeling safe and sleep without fear. When we eat healthy, we feel better and our bodies perform better in the gym. When we only surround ourselves with positive people that create positive energy, we are happy and more true to ourselves. When we work hard and lift weight CONSISTENTLY in the gym, we look better and we get STRONG. It's unavoidable.

I am a worrier. I am embarrassed to say that many times in my life, I have made decisions based on fear and guilt. I want to change that. So my suggestion to anyone that reads this is the same thing as what I am personally trying to transition to in MY own life. It is important to have goals and know what you want and where you want to be, but don't focus SOLELY on the end result. Focus on why you want what you want and what you need to do to get there. Take all the guilt and fear out of it. Don't diet to get skinny. Don't drive the speed limit to avoid a ticket. Don't go to the gym because you hate the cellulite in your legs or because that's what all your friends are doing. Make positive, healthy decisions and then sit back and ENJOY the GOOD consequences that come from good choices!

...MoRe pLeAsE...

At some time or another we've all wanted to be "ER"...prettiER... thinnER... smartER... strongER. We think that if we had MORE...more money... more time... more friends... that our lives would be better.

Sometimes, what we think we need more of to have a better life...isn't what we need at all. We don't need more money. We need less keeping up with the Jones' and more sharing. We don't need to be prettier. We need less focus on our outward appearance and more time devoted internally. We don't need to be thinner. We need less starvation and crazy diets and more focus on moderation and overall health. We don't need to be smarter. We need to make better choices and think before we act. We don't need more time. We need to use the time we have more wisely, rather than wasting it on things that don't matter.

As far as friends and strength goes, I believe that if we could all be more careful in the way we treat others...if we could be kinder...and think of someone else before our selves...if we took the time to think before we speak...practiced the "Golden Rule"...were less shy and more willing to reach out...and could learn to let go of jealousy...we would have more friends then we know what to do with.

I believe that if we would lift heavy stuff rather than read as we walk on the treadmill...if we would choose to stop making excuses...work hard...take our health seriously and treat our bodies like a temple that houses our soul...if we were willing to step outside our comfort zone...learn to endure the hard times with grace and allow those times to teach us...we would have strength abounding.

Take a moment and think about what it is you want more of and why, and then...go get it...not the easy way that doesn't last...but in a way that permanently changes you and everyone's life that you touch.

...bE DiFFeReNt...

Anyone that belongs to a gym has probably seen it...the people that come in the gym and do the same things day after day...the guy that reads the newspaper while pedaling on the recumbent bike...the ladies gossiping while walking side by side on treadmills. Maybe you've even had those days yourself where you just wanted to check "working out" off you list of to-dos. You didn't stay long or put much into it, but you could say that you hit the gym for the day. I don't care what anybody says. You get out what you put in. I believe it in theory and I've lived it. When I have been in the best shape, it was because I worked hard for it and it showed.

I remember times when I have been stopped in the grocery store or shopping to ask what I do to stay in shape. This wasn't by accident. It was because anyone that looked at me could see that I worked hard for what I had. A few times, people would ask me "What are you training for?". They were always shocked when I would respond..."Life. I'm training to be in the best shape possible...to feel strong...and live the life I want to in the best way possible." It was like they couldn't believe that I would work that hard if there wasn't a formal contest involved or a trophy at stake, but the contest should be internal.

I want to be different...different than the people that go to the gym several times a week and never see a change...different than those that wish for change and complain about where they are but make no effort...different than I was yesterday. In the eight years since I began my journey towards better health and fitness, my life has changed in many ways. I feel like I am constantly evolving...most of the time for good...but really it's up to ME. It doesn't matter what challenges I face. I determine how hard I work when I do get to the gym or go out for a run. I decide whether or not I quit or press forward. I choose whether or not I end in a pool of sweat or barely out of breath...and my results match my effort. The end result and the way you feel all starts with a choice. Make a choice to be different. Make a choice to be strong, and then do what it takes to get there!

* Small changes can make your workout more intense and change things up! Instead of millions of crunches that are not effective...do PLANK HOLDS or situps like the ones above hanging or where you get some hyper extension, but be careful to work up to it. If you want your lunges more intense...hold dumbbells or better yet, hold a weight plate OVERHEAD and do traveling lunges. Be creative and don't get stuck in a rut! :)

...tHaNkFuL...

Every year...the night before Thanksgiving...I have a secret sort of ritual that I do. Before I go to sleep, I sit quietly and reflect upon the year that is almost gone. I go 90 miles an hour most of the time and sometimes I am not able to stop long enough in the moment to give thanks for all I have. Some years, the list of things I'm thankful for seem endless, and the people that have been in my life are many. Other years, like this one...the list is small and simple and the people that have been there no matter what...are few.

It's funny to me that as I sit tonight and reflect...month by month...it is very different than last year's reflection. We never know what twists and turns life will take or how different our life can become in just a few months time. It sounds cliche, but things I once took for granted...things I would never even counted as blessings...are some of the things I'm most thankful for.

I am thankful for laughter...laughter that I feel deep in my soul...laughter that is genuine and uncontrolled and loud. For all the tears that have been shed, there has been much laughter too. I am thankful for kind words of encouragement...encouragement that has held me up and given me purpose on days that I wanted to hide under the covers. For all the people that have judged and criticized me, there has also been an outpouring of love and encouragement both from a few people close to me and many strangers that have become friends. I am thankful for the 1200 sq ft room we call our gym. People that I care about there have come and gone...and lives there have changed dramatically...but some things remain constant. The barbells and the pull-up bars and the chalk stained rubber mats on the floor are still there and none of these things make exceptions for me.

The barbell tests me...mentally and physically. Some days, I have passed the test and left smiling...and some days I have failed and tears have fallen on those dirty rubber mats. Either way, I always know that those weights and that barbell won't leave me. They will always be there waiting for me and they don't care if I look pretty or if I'm funny, all that is required is effort.

I recognize now, that I took small miracles in my life for granted. Things that seemed like a burden or a constant that would never go away, have become things I long for. A day with nothing to do, used to make me sad and lonely...now I look forward to those rare day and cherish them. A warm body next to me at night seemed like something I would always have...now I sleep in between pillows and hope that someday that will change. Seemingly endless time to work out and focus solely on me used to be the rule, not the exception...now, I have to truly plan and sacrifice for the small time I have to do these things.

As sad as I have been at times this year, I am thankful for all the adversity that has come my way. My muscles may look smaller, but for all the times I left the gym feeling defeated or had to struggle to make it through a workout or pull myself up over the bar...I am stronger. I may have lost friends and people I loved along the way, but for all the tears that fell and nights I spent alone...I have a greater appreciation for the people that remain. I have failed and lost money and made mistakes trying to start a business. I have felt overwhelmed at times and wanted to give up, but I have learned valuable lessons and feel a drive to succeed. There's been times that I thought about walking away and giving up on my dreams, but in the midst of my small defeats...my will to fight and my confidence in my own abilities have grown.

I am thankful for the good times and the bad times...the happiness and joy and pain and suffering too. I'm thankful for the moments of clarity, as well as the confusion that were all part of my life this past year. I know that I am not alone either. Many people that will read this have suffered far greater adversity and loss than I have and some have suffered less, but we should all take a moment to give thanks for the good and the bad. Because ALL these things can make us more resilient and wiser, if we choose to let them. Take a moment today and reflect and give thanks. If there are things that you don't like, change them. If there are people holding you back, let them go. Either way, be thankful for each and every thing you have both enjoyed and endured throughout the year...because all of these things made you stronger...whether you realize it or not.

...TeLL yOuRseLf tHaT yOu CAN...

The only one who can tell you that you can't is YOU! You don't have to listen! YOU choose the voice that you hear in your mind. You CHOOSE whether or not to see beauty or ugly...potential or a lost cause in the mirror. You CHOOSE to believe that you can or tell yourself that you can't, but remember this...the voice in your head is a powerful one. You can walk away from people telling you negative things. You can close a book or turn off a TV...but your thoughts are always with you. Make them positive and you will be surprised how much more you can accomplish!

...veTeRaNs dAy...

It seems the thing to do on blogs or Facebook...to say "Thank you" to people in the military on Veteran's Day. Don't get me wrong. I am not belittling or making fun or saying that people are not sincere. I believe it is...and so for ME it is always hard to know what to say.

I don't think most of us truly take the time on a daily basis to think about the service that is being rendered to us...during the day and while we sleep. We forget that there are men and women sacrificing time with family, uprooting their families and leaving friends to move across the country and around the world, and risking their lives for people they do not even know. "Thank you" is what you say to someone that holds the door open for you at the store. Those words seem insufficient for such a selfless service, but I mean it sincerely when I say "Thank you!" to all my friends that do currently or have served our country in the military. I sleep sound at night because of you. Your strength amazes me.

...sAcRiFiCe...

Sometimes, I'll workout with the guys in the 6 AM class. Today, I have a lot to do, so I thought it would be great to get my workout done for the day...early. The workout was short and simple.

Row 300M

20 Push Press

Row 300 M

15 Push Press

Row 300 M

10 Push Press

Row 300 M

5 Push Press

I felt tired and weak even doing the warm up...usually NOT a good sign. I struggled through with the encouragement of the boys and when I was done, I rested. I was lying on the floor...gasping for air. My legs and my shoulders were aching and I was so glad to be done with the workout...for a moment. In just seconds, I went from feeling relief to feeling sorrow and disappointment.

I got up from the floor and made my way through the dark back room to the bathroom. The minute I locked the door, the tears began to fall and I buried my face in my arms so that if anyone came back to the bathroom, they wouldn't hear me crying. That only lasted for a couple of minutes, because I knew if I was gone long...someone would come looking for me and I didn't want anyone to see me like that. I splashed some cold water on my face and dried it off, put on a smile, and went back out to the gym to finish class.

I'm not the strongest girl around, but I can generally hold my own. I have done WAY worse workouts then this one and twenty 75 lb Push Presses in a row should NOT have been that hard!!! From the moment I cleaned the bar off the ground...it felt SO HEAVY! And from that moment on, I let the shock of that initial feeling take over. I struggled to get through every rep of that workout and when I say struggle...I'm not exaggerating! I'm talking flat out grunting and groaning and fighting for every rep. I wanted to quit, but I knew I couldn't. How could I drop the bar and give up when I spend my days telling people NOT to do that. What kind of an example would I be to the people in the gym that I push to do more?

For the few minutes that the tears were falling in the bathroom, thoughts and questions raced through my mind. "What has become of me?" "Why do I feel so weak?" "Maybe I have no place telling other people what to do." "If people saw me this morning, would they disregard EVERYTHING I've ever said?!?" I didn't really have the time to ponder these things at the time, but in the quiet hour since I dropped kids off at school...I've tried to sort these things out.

I could give a million excuses...some very valid, but I realize that nothing is going to change if I do that. I also realize that because there really are some things in my life affecting me, I have to accept myself where I'm at rather than constantly thinking and talking about they way I used to be! I think the problem that I am having is common to many of us. We only want to do things that we LIKE to do in order to change. I don't have a problem going in to the gym and working hard. That is NOT where my problem lies. I KNOW where and what the the problems are and I KNOW how to improve, but the problem is that I don't WANT to do things that are uncomfortable or hard for me. There are things I know I need to get rid of that I hang on to. I'd rather start going to the gym and spend 3 hours a day working out, than change my diet or get more sleep or go out less. There is no easy way. If there were, EVERYONE would be in shape and look great. And while desire and hard work are key ingredients...it takes sacrifice.

I always say that people do what they WANT to do. Our lives are not the way they are by accident. Whether good or bad, we got where we are through a series of choices, so I need to decide what I really want and think about what it takes to get there. Then...I need to STOP thinking and wishing and wanting...and start making some sacrifices! There will always be hard days in the gym, but there will be a lot less if I change...not in small, easy ways, but in the ways that count!

...LeAvE yOuR maRk...

Don't be afraid to sweat! Get in the gym and work as hard as you can. Work until you can leave your "mark" on the floor! Chances are, if you aren't sweaty enough to do that...you didn't work hard enough!

...fiGhT WeLL...

Ask yourself this question...
"When the going gets tough...when I'm scared or have doubts...when I am hurt...do I give up, or do I fight well?"

If you are satisfied with the answer to that question, good for you. If not...if you have become comfortable...if you have made a habit out of giving up or making excuses...stop. Make the necessary changes. Learn to fight for what you want.

I had things happen to me in my life early on that created a certain mindset...a mindset that caused me to feel like I had no control. It seemed like fighting was not worth it. Many times, I felt that I should just accept whatever came my way. I wanted to avoid any pain that I could at all costs. My life changed in ways that are hard describe when I learned the benefit of fighting...of risking failure and/or pain.


My friend and past trainer, Wes, was a big part of that. He didn't ask me to do things that were uncomfortable or give me an option. He didn't let me quit when I was unsuccessful. Wes made me try over and over again. He never set me up for failure and he helped me find success. This doesn't mean I never had setbacks or failures in the gym. I did, but I learned to fight and do things I once never thought I could...and in some instances, do them very well. The things I learned throughout this process in the gym have carried over to my day to day life outside of the gym.

I've become good at fighting physically to finish a workout or lift a certain amount of weight, but I have an area that I want to change...a part of me that is still connected to the child that felt powerless. It's my attitude. I never think of myself as a pessimist, but I live by the phrase "hope for the best, but expect the worst". I do this because it gives me a feeling of control. If things go well...it is a bonus, and if they go wrong...I can say "See! I knew that wouldn't work out well.". The problem with this is that this can become a defeatist attitude and I think that at times I create my own setbacks and failures. I need to work harder to train myself to BELIEVE that I will succeed.



I truly believe that winning is not the most important thing, but DO NOT CONFUSE THIS with me saying that you should be comfortable or happy with second place either. Fighting...playing...performing...working as hard as you can, with the INTENT to win and never give up, IS. I also believe that WHEN we "fight well", in a sense we do conquer and fighting well does not just include our physical ability...it includes our thoughts as well. Believe that you will succeed and then fight as hard as you can to make it happen physically AND mentally.

...aLL sHaPeS aNd siZeS...

I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I've been the fat girl that was ignored and mistreated. I've been the girl that wore the swimsuit with a skirt and felt humiliated to be seen on the beach. I once had to beg a group of salesmen in a car stereo shop to help me. ALL of them were standing around...not busy...none wanted to wait on me and the one that finally did, walked off in the middle of my question to help a young, thin girl that walked in. I remember leaving and sitting in my minivan crying in the parking lot. I've also been the girl that walks in to a room or a bar and had all heads turn and watch my every move. I've had salespeople fight over who would help me. I've felt a sense of pride as I walk down the beach in a bikini. When you make the kinds of changes that I have made and you've swung so far on each end of the pendulum, it's hard not to feel a little "better than" sometimes. When you do the kinds of rigorous, extreme, difficult movements and workouts that I have done, it's hard not to feel a little elitist. I'm so glad that I don't.

Most everyone thinks that THEIR way...is the best way. I mean, why else would we chose to do the things we do if we didn't think that? And so it's easy for people that are bigger to put down people that are thinner and easy for thinner people to think bigger people should do something different or more. We are conditioned to narrow our view of what is pretty or what is strong or what is right. We think "pretty" means a certain color hair or a special kind of makeup...that being "good" means acting one way...that being "strong" should look like a certain body type. I have learned over the years that that is just not the case. Beauty and goodness and strength come in many different shapes and sizes. If we close ourselves off to the ways or looks that are different from our own...we lose out on so much. When we choose to close our minds to different ways, we limit our OWN possibilities and rob ourselves of the opportunity to grow and become better. We waste precious time we could be spending developing ourselves, trying to look or be like someone else. A lean yoga instructor and a female powerlifter both have different strengths and beautiful bodies, but if the female powerlifter thinks she should look like the yoga instructor...she will end up hating herself and never truly appreciate the beauty and the strength that she has.

Strength comes in ALL shapes and sizes. Fitness blogs and websites and magazines are a dime a dozen. You can find endless diet plans or workout plans or pictures of half naked fitness models. The world does NOT need more of that! What is different about me and the "Strong is the new skinny" Facebook page is that in MY eyes, there is NO one too skinny or too big to too strong or not strong enough or too sexy or not sexy enough. I truly believe that appearance is just a great side effect of the hard work we do in the gym. All of us are at different places and everyone should be working to better themselves rather than judging anyone else or feeling like we need to look like anyone else! I've said it so many times before and I'll say it again...BE THE BEST YOU, YOU CAN BE!