Resting my way strong...

 Rest days.  I always hated them.  For YEARS I have lived over trained...working out 6 days a week...for up to 2 hours a day.  I lived on very little sleep and prided myself on never being injured.  I felt invincible at times.  I was able to do what I wanted and push myself hard without any real consequences it seemed...and then it all caught up to me.

In March I broke my wrist when I fell demonstrating a movement in the gym.  I remember lying in the emergency room...all alone...feeling defeated and scared.  I had just come off a 2 year separation and divorce that had drained me of much of my strength and desire to take care of myself.  I often felt fatigue or broke down crying while I was trying to train during those years.  I had JUST started to feel better and work out more like my old self for about 2 weeks when I had my accident.  Alone and frustrated, I started to tear up.  I quickly wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and decided that this would not keep me down.  I vowed to keep working out in whatever capacity I could and promised myself that I would not feel sorry for myself.

I did well for a long time.  I ran, did workouts with one arm, and rarely missed a day in the gym.  I was sure that I would heal quickly and be back to new in a few months.  Unfortunately, that wasn't in the cards for me.  My wrist took much longer to heal that expected and once my wrist was better, I suffered with severe pain in the elbow on the other arm.  It has been 8 months since I was able to workout like I want.  As soon as the pain starts to get better, either something else hurts or I start working out again and the pain returns.

There have been days that I wanted to give up, but I've tried to continue to fight and do what I could through constant aches and pains.  I've watched my body change and felt helpless many times.  I've tried dieting, but there's no replacement for heavy lifting and intense workouts when it comes to body composition.  All along, I kept trying to fight until something occurred to me last week.  I didn't need to fight harder.  I need to rest.  I need to allow myself to heal fully before I can start the process of getting stronger again!

So that's where I'm at.  It feels like a bit of a standstill, but I know it's not.  I decided to write this for anyone else that may be feeling the way I've felt for so many months.  I've felt like a failure.  I've felt like an old battery with no charge left.  I've felt like life is passing me by and everyone else is progressing while I go backward.  I have CRAVED change while refusing to do anything different.  So now I'm doing different.  Now, I'm going to focus on getting well and stop comparing myself to everyone else around me.  I'm going to stop feeling like no one understands how much pain I'm in daily and focus on what I can do to get better so I'm no longer in pain.

We all work hard and push our bodies in our quest to get stronger but what we forget sometimes is that what we do in the gym isn't what makes us stronger.  Its during the rest AFTER the hard work, that we become stronger.  If you are healthy and feeling invincible like I used to...work hard but don't forget to rest as well.  Stay hydrated, stretch, and get plenty of sleep.  Don't take your strength and health for granted.  If you are injured, take the time to heal.  Take the time to clean up your diet and spend the time you would spend in the gym doing things that will improve you in other ways!  It's important to work hard, but sometimes you have to REST if you want to be strong.

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Learning to be grateful...

 We all do it.  We take things for granted that we just assume will always be there.  I have.  I have many times...in many areas of my life.  I always appreciate things as I am working towards them, but then when I get to my destination...I suppose I become complacent.

I'm not an athletically talented person.  In fact, I'm a hot mess in the gym at times.  I'm clumsy and uncoordinated...inflexible and easily frustrated.  Every movement...every success I've had in the gym...comes solely from hard work and determination.  As a result, I have always been very excited and grateful when I first mastered each movement that is difficult for me.

It's been a while since I've had to learn new movements myself.  I spend my days teaching and correcting other people's movements.  I guess I began to take what I am able to do for granted.  I would do what we all do from time to time...whine about a workout or find excuses to skip.  I always knew that tomorrow was a new day and I could start fresh.  I never thought about the possibility that maybe some "tomorrow" would come where I was no longer physically able to do what I wanted, but unfortunately for me it did.  I broke my wrist in the gym and nothing there has been the same.

I remember lying in the emergency room alone the morning I drove myself there after falling in the gym.  I felt so frustrated and alone.  I wanted to cry but I was determined to remain as tough as possible in front of the doctor and nurses there.  I couldn't help but think, "Why me?  Haven't I had more than my fair share of struggles in the past year?!?", but we all know that kind of thinking doesn't accomplish anything worthwhile so I tried to quickly dismiss it and be as positive as possible.  It's a setback and I WILL heal, so I went forward committing to myself that I would do my best to continue to workout in whatever capacity I could.

In the weeks since it happened, I have continued to work out.  I have had to adjust and scale movements, but I'm still working hard.  I get funny looks when I go into a gym or run on a trail with a cast or now brace.  I worry a lot about where I will be and how much I might loose by the time I'm fully healed.

Everything has changed.  Things that use to be easy are hard.  I've had to learn to live with one hand to do the work of two.  The funny thing is that the harder I struggle...the more I appreciate the task.

I got an answer to the question I asked myself on the hospital bed that morning.  "Why me?"...because I needed to be reminded just how precious it is to be able to walk in a gym and pick up a barbell.  I needed to find the humility that I once had...many years ago when I myself was just learning.   I took my ability to do anything that I wanted to do in the gym for granted.

These days, I long to do things that I once did.  I watch people in the gym sweating and struggling with barbells and I can hardly stand it, because I want to do the same.  My wrist may be broken, but my spirit is unbroken.  I hate being hurt.  I hate being held back.  I hate the pain and fear of the unknown, but I'm grateful in some strange way.

I'm grateful because my perspective is forever changed.  I now know that working out is not a chore or a burden.  Working out is a privilege and that is how we should treat it.

Start today!

 A year from now...you'll wish you started TODAY! Stop waiting. Stop making excuses. Stop focusing on how long it will take and get started! It took me almost exactly a year to lose all my weight and get my body where I wanted it. It wasn't fast or easy, but it was worth it. The time will pass anyways so why not have something to show for it in the end!

 





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Are you in your prime?

 Reasons To Be Fit #156..."because this should be your prime."

You don't have to be in your 20s to be in your prime. You don't have to have a weight loss story to be a success. No one has to know who you are for you to be an example. Ask yourself, "Am I in my prime?"  If not...why?  If not...make right now your prime. Make RIGHT NOW the happiest, healthiest time you could ever imagine!

 



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STRONG LOLA