STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY

...tAkE yOuR oWn aDviCe...

2012-03-07T23:20:00.001-08:00

It's an interesting phenomenon being a mother to three children. I am the same and they all have the same father, but my pregnancies and deliveries were all very different from one another and my children are each very unique. They each have their own look and their personalities are very individual. I love that, because while it can be frustrating at times, it keeps me on my toes and lets me experience life through different perspectives. It's like seeing the world through four different views; mine and all three of theirs.

This morning I already had my oldest and youngest children to school, so I started doing what I do every morning. It starts with the intercom and progresses to me yelling upstairs and ends with me walking up to my daughter's room to see what I can do to help her not be tardy for school. Apparently she inherited my inability to get anywhere on time, because Sydney is ALWAYS late. She usually emerges looking fabulous with perfect hair and makeup and a smile on her face, but that wasn't the case today. She looked like she hadn't even hardly gotten ready. Her hair was a mess and she was very agitated and running around grabbing things. She decided to do her hair on the way to school, so we left. I could tell she was really frazzled and on the verge of tears. This is odd because Sydney is tough. She and I are very similar. Sometimes we can be harsh and sarcastic. We say what we think and sometimes it's bold and unfiltered. We both have a very soft side to us too, but sometimes it's hidden. Sydney is very self sufficient and rarely complains, so when she is visibly upset...it is strange and I notice it right away.

Like most moms, I hate to see my children upset. When they are hurting, it's like the piece of my heart that belongs to them hurts too. I want so badly to help them get through their problems and be well adjusted, happy kids. Once we got in the car, I turned to her and said, "What's the matter, baby? You seem really off this morning." She began to just unleash everything she's been holding inside. She talked about how tired she is and how nervous she is about trying out for cheerleading even though she portrays total confidence to everyone else. At that point, she was all out venting and I was happy to listen because I knew she needed to talk. She started to talk about how she has "the worst luck in the world" and how she's so tired of working so hard and giving her all to everyone around her but feeling like she doesn't get much in return. I listened and then I gave her some advice. It went a little something like this...

"I know how you feel and I'm sorry you are having a rough morning. Unfortunately, you are a lot like me and you're right...we are not "lucky." It's okay to have a moment and talk and even feel upset or think it's not fair, but it's what you do afterwards that counts. Sometimes it feels as though we have to work twice as hard as everyone else for the same result, but we appreciate every success we get even more. Remind yourself that you CAN do anything. You have to let go of what other people are doing and continue to be a good friend and work hard because you want to. You can't control whether or not you get back all you give, so be thankful that you have a heart that allows you to give so much. You are having a bad day, but you are strong and you will get through this and wake up to a better day tomorrow."

We pulled up and she looked at me with her blue eyes and long eyelashes and said, "Thanks Mom.". I told her that I love her and drove towards the gym to work. The car was quiet because I turned the radio off when she began to talk. As I sat in silence, I thought about what she had said and how I have felt those exact same feelings and even said some of those exact words before. There have been times I have allowed those feelings to get the best of me. Then, some things became very clear for me. I had just sat and given her some great advice...advice that maybe I should take myself. It's easy to tell someone else how to have a better life. It's nice to be someone that people come to for advice, but it's better to believe and follow the advice yourself.

I am so hard on myself. Many times, I put myself down in ways that I wouldn't think of doing to my own children. It occurred to me that maybe I should talk a little nicer to myself and listen to the words of advice that I offer to my children. I believe and meant every word that I told my daughter this morning. Now it's time for me to take my own advice, and live by those words.

..Is it REALLY hard?...

2012-02-29T10:09:00.000-08:00

I drove to the gym with mixed emotions. I was full of excitement, fear, skepticism, and happiness. I haven't driven to the gym with emotions like this in a long time. For a long time I've gone through the motions. Sometimes I complain about not being where I want to be or where I once was. Sometimes I work really hard and sometimes I walk away wondering if I could've done a little more. There's days when I write a workout or head to the gym to do what the other classes are doing, but I don't feel those real butterflies anymore like I used to feel.

It's like a relationship. At first, you work hard. You're on your best behavior. You are excited to see "the one" and you get those butterflies when you do. Every kiss is electric and annoying habits seem so forgivable. And then...you get comfortable and secure and you stop working so hard. You don't worry about always looking your best because you feel sure you'll see him or her again and you can make up for it then. Before you know it, you've lost that excitement and things that were once "cute"...are now annoying.

Well, my workouts have become like a crusty old man that I have been married to for 50 years. I'm bored and I find myself looking at "other workouts", wondering if maybe I should just move on and start fresh. Here's the problem with that. Sometimes in relationships and in other areas, such as working out...we DO find that we are not getting our needs met and we need to move on to someone or something that more matches who we are today and can give us a better, healthier quality of life. But sometimes...it may be the right person and place...and we just get lazy. It seems easier to just start over because it's always easy when it's new and who doesn't love those butterflies and the exhilaration you feel when you are just beginning. Unfortunately, nothing stays new. So if you're in the right spot, you have to reevaluate your feelings and adjust your behavior from time to time.

I worked out with a trainer, Wes, for a year. We became great friends...the kind of friends that last a lifetime and survive life changes and moves halfway around the world...friends that can be apart for years and come back and feel like you never missed a day. He changed me forever in more ways than just my physical appearance. Wes moved away 4 years ago and I missed him terribly. He and his wife recently moved back to Texas. I was feeling in a rut and he has been busy making a new life and wanted to get back into better shape again. One day, I decided to offer him a deal. I wanted us to workout together. It would give him a set time and place to be to workout and I would have the extra motivation he provides as well as his expertise. Don't tell him, but this is a way better deal for me than him because honestly...I have a lot more to gain from him than he does from me, but I got lucky and he agreed. We will workout together 4 days a week and yesterday was day one.

We've done Crossfit and Crossfit-esque workouts together for a long time but we decided to start our first 3 week cycle with the basics. I have to admit. I was worried that I would get bored or it wouldn't be hard enough. All my fears went out the window yesterday when we started. I always prided myself on working hard...going the extra mile. We started with worksets of Presses, but instead of the barbell that is my old, familiar friend...we used dumbbells. I did a few warmups and then began. I hadn't been over there 5 minutes when I heard that familiar voice "That is no where near heavy enough for you!" I went into my old girl client whiny mode (I know...annoying) and said "It is heavy!" He smiled..."No. It's not." I picked up another set...5 lbs more. "Okay", I thought. "Here I go! THIS is the weight!" No such luck. "You still need more. Push it up!" I cleaned the dumbbells up and it was a struggle. In fact, he had to help me push the last few up. OH, wow. The light bulb came on and I was flooded with a mixture of fear and excitement.

I realized that I have been taking it easy on myself. When Wes first left, I stayed true to the things he taught me. But somewhere along the way...I got cocky and I started slipping. It seemed easier to just keep changing things up and trying to start something new, but the "new" would always wear off and I'd be back to square one. I realized that sometimes when we think we are working hard, we really aren't. I had a great workout and I left tired and happy. I woke up a little nervous this morning...and I liked it. I feel a new sense of hope. I know that I will achieve my goals now and I'm so grateful to have Wes by my side to help me get there. Never again do I want to slack off like I have. I didn't even realize it. I thought I was working hard...and I WAS...but I could be working harder.

The next time you feel bored and unsatisfied. The next time you want to complain about where you are or wonder why you are not seeing the results you want, don't think about something new or blame it on other people or circumstances. Walk to the mirror and look in the reflection. Reignite the passion that you once had. Ask yourself "Is it REALLY hard enough?". Answer honestly and adjust accordingly.

...eX fAt GirL...

2012-01-28T07:30:00.000-08:00

I've done it for so many years that it seems second nature. I've called myself an ex-fat girl, and I AM in fact an ex-fat girl. It's a label and persona I've given myself that I realized has done 2 things for me. It has served as a badge of honor and it has acted as a really sneaky excuse of sorts and a "security blanket" at times. The badge of honor part has always been apparent. I went from someone with no real confidence that was scared of everything...to a woman that still gets scared but knows I can face any challenge. I went from overweight and UNFIT; trapped in a body I hated...to a person that is fit and can be proud to walk down any beach in a bikini.

As for the other part...well it's the part that not many people see; the part that is hidden by confidence that is sometimes real and sometimes fake. It is the sneaky part that lives in my head and takes up space that could be better used. You see, I realized lying in bed this morning that as long as I keep thinking of myself as an ex-fat girl...it gives me an excuse to settle...because ANYTHING is better than where I was right? WRONG. It's been 8 YEARS since I started that journey and frankly, I don't know why I keep that girl in my head and heart. "She" does nothing but bring me down and make me see things in the mirror that are not there! "She" makes me afraid and "she"allows me to settle. I don't like that.

It's like climbing a mountain. You want to look up and focus your energy on rising rather than constantly looking back at the ground below. There's a reason that when you are high up, they tell you not to look down. It scares you and makes you start thinking about "what ifs" rather than taking it one foot upward at a time. I don't think this is any different. I'm afraid that I have lowered my expectations in some ways and been too hard on myself in others. Sounds confusing, right? You should live it.

It's time to tighten the harness and look UP. It's time to let go of the past and all the hurts and disappointments that got me fat in the first place. It's time to fight for even better and believe that I deserve it it. I think of my ex-fat girl as a 70lb weight pulling me down slowly...making it harder for me to continue to progress and be truly happy and strong. It's like Robert Deniro's character in one of my favorite movies, "The Mission", where as penance he is forced to carry heavy things strapped to his back as he and the Catholic priests hike up the side of a mountain and cross rivers to teach the natives Christianity. Even after he has done his part, he will not let go until the priest cuts the rope for him. There's no one to cut the rope but me and it's time to find a knife.

Don't drag old things with you. It saps your energy and drains you of you true strength. Let go of past hurt...of the old you...and move forward with greater ease. Allow yourself to reach new goals and stop letting those things be a silent excuse to be less than you want to be. Look up, not down and allow yourself to be strong.

...sNiCkErs aRe sCaRy...

2012-01-16T09:37:00.000-08:00

I've had that uncomfortable, unsure feeling...a foreboding that something bad was about to happen for the entire hour I've been here at home. I tried to be a "big girl" and just not think about it. I tried to convince myself that there was nothing to be afraid of, but the anticipation has been building.

When I was a little girl, I was afraid a lot. Sometimes, I would get so scared in my room at night that I couldn't stand it and I had to leave and go get one of my parents. I knew I would get in trouble, but it didn't matter. Sometimes, I was so afraid of whatever I thought was under my bed that I could not even get out of bed. I would lie there frozen until I couldn't stand it anymore and then I would JUMP from my bed to the door because I was sure something or someone would grab my leg from under the bed if I was close.

I'm happy to report that those days are past. I still get scared sometimes at night, but not like I used to as a child. That's why it's odd that as soon as I finish typing these words. I am going to "jump" so to speak and drive away from my house as fast as I can. I am not afraid of the boogey man. My fear is of something real...something I can see and touch. The only way I know to keep myself "safe" is to run away.

I feel sort of pitiful that I sound so weak but it's not as weak as it could be. Sometimes we have to find our strength in whatever form we can get it. For me...today...that means that rather than standing "toe to toe"...I'm walking...or driving away. I'm determined to be healthier. I'm determined to eat better and exercise control...control that has been lacking for a while. I want the Snickers bar that's in my living room so bad that my mouth is literally watering as I type the words. It actually belongs to my daughter or I would throw it away, but since I can't...I'm gonna leave and then tell her to hide it when we get back home because I fear that small, delicious treat. I fear the hold that foods like that have over me and I fear the regret and anger I will have towards myself if I indulge.

We sometimes box ourselves in and set ourselves up for failure because we become so set in the definitions we give things. We talk about facing our fears and not backing down when we think of being brave and strong, but sometimes avoidance is important too. That Snickers bar is like crack to a junkie or a drink for an alcoholic for me. Just as I would never expect a recovering alcoholic to sit in a bar or take a recovering addict to a crack house, I am not expecting myself to sit in a room with something that I want so bad, but know I shouldn't have.

Don't set such rigid definitions that set you up for failure. Be smart enough to find your strength wherever you can and be willing to practice divergent thinking and able to take things as they come. Our lives and challenges and strengths and weaknesses change and we have to be willing to be flexible enough to do what it takes to be strong...no matter what...even if it means running away!

I have a "30 Day Challenge" for eating healthier going on. You can follow that blog at www.stronglola.blogspot.com so read my daily thoughts and see what I'm eating! :)

...fReAkiN fAnTaStiC...

2012-01-06T08:33:00.000-08:00

Get out there and get EVERYTHING you can out of this day...your training...your life!!! Recognize the greatness and potential that lies within you! GET HEALTHY! GET HAPPY! GET STRONG!

...pLaNNiNg fOr mY "rOaDtRiP" iN 2012...

2011-12-30T13:35:00.000-08:00

Making real improvements in your life can be the simplest, most complex, easiest, hardest thing in the world. It all depends on how you approach it. I am a stubborn person by nature, and I have always been resistant to change. I think this is in part because I don't like being told what to do and in part because I am a perfectionist and I can hardly bear the thought of looking stupid or the out of control feeling of not knowing what I'm doing.

This personality trait paired with a fear of failure can make change complicated and hard. There have been many times in my life where I put myself down or essentially gave up on my self because I quit when things were not going as I expected or wanted them to. This is a fast track to disappointment and frustration and I don't now about you...but most of us have plenty of that in our lives without bringing it on ourselves!

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've even repeated a few, but no matter what...win or lose...succeed or fail...I've learned something. Negativity and doubt will build a wall that stands between us and the changes we want to make. Calling yourself fat won't make you thinner. Telling yourself that you can't won't get you closer to your goals. Making excuses and trying to find shortcuts doesn't make growth any easier. This doesn't mean we should allow ourselves to fail without trying or lull ourselves into thinking that this is the way things are and change is impossible. What it does mean is that if you want to get somewhere, you need a plan...a map of sorts.

You need to treat change like you would a road trip. You don't jump in a car and drive off without making sure you have gas or anything else you may need along the way, and you certainly don't start driving somewhere you've never been before without some sort of directions. There are maps, navigation, friends and acquaintances that may have traveled the same road that can all offer you a clear cut path towards your final destination.

I decided to really change my diet this next year. My life has felt very out of control in some ways over the past year and I feel ready for a change...a true, lasting change. I think the discipline and lessons I learn, along with the possibility of physically feeling better will help me not just physically or with my diet alone, but in many aspects of my life. I'm setting out on a road that I've never traveled. In the past I tried to be all liberated and do it myself without help, but in the end I found myself anything but liberated from the place or behaviors I was trying to escape. This time, I want to be smart. I want to set myself up to succeed rather than doom myself to failure. I am going to make a menu and get the "fuel" I need ahead of time. I am not going to focus on what I'm giving up, but what I can gain and the example that I can be to others.

So here I go. January 2, 2012 is the first day of what I hope ends up being a long, enjoyable, successful trip to better health! I invite anyone that wants to join me "virtually" to come to the group page I've made on Facebook, STRONG LOLA 30 DAY CHALLENGE, and follow along. You don't have to know it all or be an expert. You just have to be willing to do something different and not too proud to ask for "directions". I will put some links to helpful information here below the post! New year! New YOU!

STRONG LOLA 30 DAY CHALLENGE

For information on the Paleo diet, how to get started, what to eat and NOT eat, etc click the links below:

WHOLE 9

BALANCED BITES

21 DAY SUGAR DETOX

PRACTICAL PALEOLITHIC

...WHO'S LOLA?...

2011-12-20T22:34:00.001-08:00

I never wanted to be a business person. That's just not me. I'm a creative person that loves people. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I knew that no matter what...I wanted a job where I could help people in some way. I dropped out of college as a social work major when I got married to work and put my husband through school. I never expected to be anything more than a Mom once I started having my children. If anyone would've told me that I would be writing and designing and selling t shirts to motivate people even 2 years ago...I would've laughed and said "NO WAY!". And I would've really never believed that I would start my own business in the process. I'm messy. I keep terrible records. Math and accounting and organization are not my strong points, but our lives take unexpected twists and turns. And so...through a series of twists and turns, and because of one picture of a tank top I made that said "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY" got so much attention on Facebook...here I am today with my own tiny little business called "Strong Lola". Many people have wondered and asked about the name. I've heard, "What's the significance of the name of your business? Does it mean something? And who IS Lola anyways?" So with the recent launch of my website for "Strong Lola", I thought I'd share a little bit about "Lola"...who she is...and why I have such an affection for her that I named my business after her.

I've often said that my life may be crazy and full of chaos at times, but it's never boring. I am one of six children in a crazy, loud, sometimes tragic, loving family. Growing up, my 2 younger sisters and I were all so close in age that we were built in playmates...and not much has changed as we've grown up. The 3 of us are still the best of friends. We fight and makeup and we get annoyed with each other. But in the end, we are as close as can be. We go out together every weekend and share lots of laughter and adventures. It was on one of those nights that I became "Lola".

Last year, my sister Kathy and I had gone to hear our friends and their band play live music outside of a local restaurant with another friend of ours. It was a warm summer night...perfect weather to sit with friends and listen to music outside. The place we went had picnic tables outside for seating and there was an area in front of the stage for dancing. I personally love to people watch and there was one person in particular that caught my eye that night...a woman.

I say this at the risk of sounding like a superficial witch, but she wasn't that attractive and she was a little overweight. No one would ever see this woman and say "Wow! She's beautiful! I want to look like her.", but that's not what I noticed. What caught my eye was the way she was dancing and the way she carried herself. She was dancing with the man that she was there on a date with. Her eyes NEVER left his. She twirled around as if she were a tiny dancer with a perfectly toned body. It was obvious that she felt no discomfort or embarrassment. She was so free and at ease and it wasn't because she was drinking either. She was completely sober.

The more I watched her...the more I was intrigued and drawn to her. In fact, I began to feel a little jealous. It seems crazy for me to say that I was jealous of her...that for a moment I wanted to be that very imperfect lady dancing and laughing...but she looked so sure of herself. She wasn't looking around, and she certainly wasn't worried about what other people thought. I turned to my sister and our friend and said, "Wow! Do you see that lady?" They said "Yes.". I said, " If I had HALF her confidence...I could take over the world!" I wished that I could be more like that.

Later on, she and her boyfriend struggled to take a picture of themselves at the table right behind ours. My sister that never meets a stranger and will talk to anyone, offered to take one of them. Then she introduced herself. "Hi! My name is Kathy." The woman smiled and said, "Nice to meet you! I'm Lola." Through our conversation, we learned that the man she was on a date with had been her husband many years ago. They had been divorced for over 10 yrs and had reconnected. Neither ever had children or remarried and even though they had once failed...they were giving their relationship a 2nd chance.

I said, "I love the name Lola! I wish I had a cool name like that!" and that was the night my sister and friend nicknamed me "Lola". I loved it, because to me...I associate that name with someone that is happy and confident...someone comfortable in their own skin and willing to take chances...someone determined and not afraid to go after what they want in life, even if there are risks. So when I started thinking about starting a business where I could expand upon what I am doing at "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY"...I wanted to choose a name that seemed appropriate. I thought about all the obvious choices, but none seemed to fit. It was almost like naming a baby. I wanted the name to represent all that I wanted my business to be about. One night as I was reading an old note my friend had written to me..."Lola"...it made perfect sense! "Strong Lola" would be the name of my business.

I knew that "Strong Lola" was a name that people would either really like or think was weird. I knew that everyone would say "Who's Lola?" or wonder quietly why I would choose that name...but I also knew that this was the perfect name because it embodies EVERYTHING that I want myself and other women to be! "Lola" is a woman that loves life. "Lola" is kind, but she's not a pushover. "Lola" is true to her heart and carries herself with confidence. "Lola" has goals...a purpose in life...and she isn't afraid to go after what she wants. "Lola" seizes the opportunities that come her way, and "she" doesn't give up or lose hope. "Lola" is comfortable in her own skin but is always seeking to be better...to improve. Combine all these qualities with a strong will and mind...and a healthy, fit, strong body...and I believe this kind of person CAN conquer the world in her own way!

I want the people that follow me on Facebook and my blog to feel empowered...not in a figurative, "rah rah", feel good kind of way...but in the truest sense. I want women and girls to know that you don't have to be perfect or the ideal of what other people think of as pretty to be beautiful. The woman I saw the first time I looked at Lola and the woman I saw by the end of the night were very different. She became beautiful to me in her own way. I also want to change the way women treat each other and THEMSELVES. I want us to stop hating ourselves because we don't look like THAT girl over there and learn to improve upon who we are and what we have. I want women to take care of their bodies and be healthy without feeling guilty or selfish. There is no age limit or boundaries. ANYONE can change. ANYONE can be better and stronger. It's never too late to become more like "Lola"!

I still think about that lady I met a couple of years ago when I'm having a day that I want to quit...or when I'm worried about what everyone around me thinks...or I don't like the imperfections I see in the mirror. Those days, I tell myself..."Remember who you are! You are Lola and you are strong! There is no goal too lofty or problem too big to overcome." "Lola" is my nick name...my alter ego of sorts...but I'm willing to share it with anyone that wants to share it. "Strong Lola" embodies everything that I have done with "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY" and they fit together perfectly. So, let's all be more like "Lola" and work towards being stronger and happier and more confident than we ever thought possible.

...DiFFiCuLty aNd oPPoRtuNitiEs...

2011-12-14T10:08:00.000-08:00

"In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity." ~Albert Einstein

Many times we avoid things that are difficult. We want to avoid the pain and hard work...not realizing the good that can come from it! I often think about my personal journey and the changes I made. I don't think I could've been ANY sadder than I was during that time in my life. I remember how far I had to fall, before I was able to try and get back up.

I was always "together". I've NEVER been one to skip showers or go around without makeup...even when my kids were babies. I got to the point where I was so depressed that I wasn't taking showers and I cried all the time. I would come home from dropping kids off at school and preschool and sob sitting in my car in the garage. To say that I was in the "midst of difficulty" feels like an understatement, but those were definitely difficult times.

I remember the night my husband came home from work and as usual...the kids were going crazy and there was no dinner. I was crying and I asked him to come talk to me. I told him that I needed help. And just to be clear...I don't ask for help...EVER...so this was strange. I told him i felt I needed to see a doctor but that I was too distracted and fragile to even make an appointment. He agreed to make the appointment for me, and that first visit was one I will never forget. I felt like a prisoner...ready and wanting to escape the minute anyone turned their head. When the doctor asked me what was wrong, I started to sob uncontrollably. He wrote furiously on my chart. He prescribed me an anti depressant, which helped in some ways, and made things worse in others.

I never told anyone but close family that I had to take medication. I was so embarrassed about it and was afraid that people would judge me, but I feel like other people need to know that it is okay to seek help in whatever form you need and there is no need to feel ashamed. The initial medication took me from crying all the time...to sitting in a stupor...only to gain even more weight. I needed some immediate help, so it was okay for a short time, but I had to eventually have the medication switched and then shortly thereafter was when I was out from under the fog of depression and I could start to make decisions that would change me and the course of my life forever.

I will not get into the exact details of the steps I took today, but I started slow...with one small goal at a time. I started at 200 lbs and so my goal was to get in the 190s. When I hit the 190s, my goal was to get in the 180s. I took baby steps and I'll be honest...it wasn't all sunshine and roses. I did it on my own. I had no trainer or anyone to motivate me or give me advice. I had to figure it out as I went along. In the beginning I didn't lose weight quickly and I felt discouraged at times...but all I could think was that even if I wasn't losing...I was no longer gaining and so I continued my program. Eventually...because I stuck with it...I saw great success.

It was a long hard year of high highs and low lows. I have thought about it at times I wondered why...why I didn't do something when I was only 20 lbs overweight...why I waited until it was so difficult. Contrary to what people may think...I do not regret the way things happened. I NEEDED to be miserable and it NEEDED to be difficult in order for me to truly dig in and embrace the journey. In the midst of my difficulty, I saw opportunity and I grabbed it and held on to it. I would not be the person I am today or have made such strides if things had not happened the way they did and so I am grateful for those difficulties.

"Rock bottom" or difficulties...whatever you wanna call it...is different for each person. Some people may not have to get to the level I was at to be uncomfortable enough to change, but here's the point I want to make: Those low, difficult times...the times that I felt like I was looking at a stranger in the mirror...the times I could see no happy future...the times I could hardly stand to carry my child up the stairs...the times I was treated badly in stores...were a blessing of sorts because they allowed me to gain a desire for change which lead me to seize the opportunity.

Do not feel as though it is impossible to change. Whether you have 100 lbs to lose or 10 lbs to lose...you can do it. Whether you work, or have children, or bad genetics, or anything else in your life that make it hard to get started...doesn't matter. The time to grasp the opportunity is NOW. I will never tell you it will be easy. It's not, but it IS possible to change regardless of your situation. You'll look back later and be grateful for the journey if you do and you will feel proud when you look in the mirror and know that YOU did the work and YOU made a change for the better. Look at the difficulties in your life as a catalyst for change. Find the opportunity waiting for you and make a change.

...a foRcE tO bE reCkoNeD wiTh...

2011-12-12T06:46:00.000-08:00

YOU are a force to be reckoned with.

When hard times come...your shoulders are strong enough to carry the weight.

When you face a mountain of adversity or a seemingly unsurpassable plateau...your legs have the energy you need to get you to the other side.

When you get knocked down or people push you aside...your feet stay steady and you continue on no matter how many times you have to stop.

When the pressures of life are bearing down on you...your back is sturdy and your will is unyielding.

When those you love are suffering or have fallen down, you are there...steadfast...ready to offer a helping hand or pick them up with strong arms if need be.

When it would be easier to quit, or skip the gym, or grab fast food...your willpower and determination are relentless.

No one can break your spirit or take away your dreams. No one can stop you but you...because you are a force to be reckoned with! Be a force for good in your life and in the lives of others.

...peRfeCtLy iMpeRfeCt...

2011-12-09T13:14:00.000-08:00

So today is a departure from my regular positive effort. Today is just me...venting...being real. I tell people all the time that the most frustrating thing about being a trainer especially when it comes to complicated movements...like Olympic lifts...is this: I have been to the classes. I know what to look for and the words to say. I can watch people and see what they are doing wrong, but when I personally stand in front of the bar to do the same lifts...despite ALL the knowledge and hours in training courses run by great coaches...I am still a human being with flaws and I make mistakes too. Just because I KNOW what to do, doesn't mean I always do things right.

I would describe myself as perfectly imperfect...a Monet painting of sorts. From afar I look together, beautiful, like I have it all...but much like those paintings, it's an illusion of sorts. When you get real close...well, depending on the day...I can be a real mess. I'm distracted and forgetful. I'm the smartest airhead ever, and news flash...as much as I want to be healthy...at times I find myself sitting in Whataburger chowing down a Whataburger with cheese while drinking a Diet Dr Pepper. I lose my temper...speak before I think...and I don't get near enough sleep.

It's hard to be a perfectionist in an imperfect body especially when you want to be able to be positive and uplifting. So while I usually try to have something thought provoking and upbeat to say so that I can help other people...today it's about me being ME. The veil is down and the "Wizard" is revealed for a moment.

These are MY REAL life pseudo motivating thoughts after a really long night of working at my computer and an especially CRAP-TASTIC morning! The Japanese proverb says "Fall seven times, stand up eight." Well, I say that when you fall down...sometimes you just need to take a moment and lie there. Maybe you need to figure out how you got there and think about what you need to do in order to stay upright, because let's be honest...falling down SUCKS! It hurts! Or maybe you need to lie there and laugh for a minute. Who cares if people see you looking like a fool! Cut yourself a break and then dust yourself off and get back up and go again!

Someone once said, "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places." This meaning that if we want to succeed. we have to keep going...and for the most part, that is true...but let me offer another suggestion. Sometimes when we are on the road to success and we come across a "parking place"...maybe we just need to pull in and take a little break for a minute. Maybe we need to take another look at the "map" and make sure we haven't taken a wrong turn before we head back out full speed ahead! Along the same lines, there's a Buddhist saying that says, "If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking." Well, sometimes we are facing in the right direction but we come across people that want to trip us or we find ourselves staring at a wall of adversity. If you come to a wall and keep walking, you will expend a lot of energy and get nowhere. You have to be prepared and strong enough to climb the wall or smart enough to realize that it's time to go around the wall and do something different. I'm not a person that advocates quitting, but every now and then...when something is just not working...you HAVE to change course if you want to keep moving forward.

So what's my point with all this? Life is not perfect and neither am I. Chances are that if you are reading this, you are not perfect either. Because if you were...you probably couldn't stand to read my drivel. It's okay to NOT be perfect. Even people on magazines have cellulite. They just have photoshop to help them out a little. And guess what...even the greatest athletes miss the pass or stumble at times. Motivational speakers get sad, and good people question their faith. It's not about whether or not you struggle or fall or keep walking...it's about doing better and not letting those things bring you down permanently or give you an excuse to quit altogether.

Moment of honesty...I have had a terrible day...a really REALLY terrible day! I felt like I had fallen...and I couldn't get up...and even though I can see the humor now, there was nothing particularly funny about it at the time. There have been a few moments since I opened my eyes that I have wanted to not just pull into a "parking place along the road to success" but veer off the road altogether and drive to a beach in Mexico with my middle finger in the air. But here's the thing, I allowed myself to stay down until I felt ready to stand back up. I didn't run away to Mexico like I wanted. I gave myself permission to have a bad day and be IMPERFECT. And even though my day has been off track and not at all what I had planned...I'm back up on my feet and I'm ready to face whatever comes next. I guess I should be embarrassed to admit all this, but truthfully, I'm not. It takes courage to keep going when things get rough. I could sit around wishing I were more like other people, but that does me no good. I am me and I have to accept myself in spite of my flaws. No matter what has come my way...or how badly I may have handled it...I'm still going and you can keep going on days like this too!

...cOnSeQueNcEs...

2011-12-05T05:56:00.000-08:00

The other night...as I was lying in bed...I started thinking about CHOICES. I was thinking about how EVERY choice we make, big or small, has a consequence and the ability to change the course of our lives. Most of the time, we think of consequences as a negative thing. If we break the law, the consequence is a ticket or worse. If we misbehave as a child, the consequence is a punishment. If we fill our lives with chaos and people that bring us down or drain us, the consequence is unhappiness and stress. If we eat too much, the consequence is weight gain. It's hard not to see choices as a burden when you look at it that way. It makes life a drudgery. We begin to do the right things for the wrong reasons. We choose better out of fear.

That can be changed, if you change the way you look at choices. When we do what is right, we get to lie down at night feeling safe and sleep without fear. When we eat healthy, we feel better and our bodies perform better in the gym. When we only surround ourselves with positive people that create positive energy, we are happy and more true to ourselves. When we work hard and lift weight CONSISTENTLY in the gym, we look better and we get STRONG. It's unavoidable.

I am a worrier. I am embarrassed to say that many times in my life, I have made decisions based on fear and guilt. I want to change that. So my suggestion to anyone that reads this is the same thing as what I am personally trying to transition to in MY own life. It is important to have goals and know what you want and where you want to be, but don't focus SOLELY on the end result. Focus on why you want what you want and what you need to do to get there. Take all the guilt and fear out of it. Don't diet to get skinny. Don't drive the speed limit to avoid a ticket. Don't go to the gym because you hate the cellulite in your legs or because that's what all your friends are doing. Make positive, healthy decisions and then sit back and ENJOY the GOOD consequences that come from good choices!

...MoRe pLeAsE...

2011-12-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

At some time or another we've all wanted to be "ER"...prettiER... thinnER... smartER... strongER. We think that if we had MORE...more money... more time... more friends... that our lives would be better.

Sometimes, what we think we need more of to have a better life...isn't what we need at all. We don't need more money. We need less keeping up with the Jones' and more sharing. We don't need to be prettier. We need less focus on our outward appearance and more time devoted internally. We don't need to be thinner. We need less starvation and crazy diets and more focus on moderation and overall health. We don't need to be smarter. We need to make better choices and think before we act. We don't need more time. We need to use the time we have more wisely, rather than wasting it on things that don't matter.

As far as friends and strength goes, I believe that if we could all be more careful in the way we treat others...if we could be kinder...and think of someone else before our selves...if we took the time to think before we speak...practiced the "Golden Rule"...were less shy and more willing to reach out...and could learn to let go of jealousy...we would have more friends then we know what to do with.

I believe that if we would lift heavy stuff rather than read as we walk on the treadmill...if we would choose to stop making excuses...work hard...take our health seriously and treat our bodies like a temple that houses our soul...if we were willing to step outside our comfort zone...learn to endure the hard times with grace and allow those times to teach us...we would have strength abounding.

Take a moment and think about what it is you want more of and why, and then...go get it...not the easy way that doesn't last...but in a way that permanently changes you and everyone's life that you touch.

...bE DiFFeReNt...

2011-11-28T08:55:00.000-08:00

Anyone that belongs to a gym has probably seen it...the people that come in the gym and do the same things day after day...the guy that reads the newspaper while pedaling on the recumbent bike...the ladies gossiping while walking side by side on treadmills. Maybe you've even had those days yourself where you just wanted to check "working out" off you list of to-dos. You didn't stay long or put much into it, but you could say that you hit the gym for the day. I don't care what anybody says. You get out what you put in. I believe it in theory and I've lived it. When I have been in the best shape, it was because I worked hard for it and it showed.

I remember times when I have been stopped in the grocery store or shopping to ask what I do to stay in shape. This wasn't by accident. It was because anyone that looked at me could see that I worked hard for what I had. A few times, people would ask me "What are you training for?". They were always shocked when I would respond..."Life. I'm training to be in the best shape possible...to feel strong...and live the life I want to in the best way possible." It was like they couldn't believe that I would work that hard if there wasn't a formal contest involved or a trophy at stake, but the contest should be internal.

I want to be different...different than the people that go to the gym several times a week and never see a change...different than those that wish for change and complain about where they are but make no effort...different than I was yesterday. In the eight years since I began my journey towards better health and fitness, my life has changed in many ways. I feel like I am constantly evolving...most of the time for good...but really it's up to ME. It doesn't matter what challenges I face. I determine how hard I work when I do get to the gym or go out for a run. I decide whether or not I quit or press forward. I choose whether or not I end in a pool of sweat or barely out of breath...and my results match my effort. The end result and the way you feel all starts with a choice. Make a choice to be different. Make a choice to be strong, and then do what it takes to get there!

* Small changes can make your workout more intense and change things up! Instead of millions of crunches that are not effective...do PLANK HOLDS or situps like the ones above hanging or where you get some hyper extension, but be careful to work up to it. If you want your lunges more intense...hold dumbbells or better yet, hold a weight plate OVERHEAD and do traveling lunges. Be creative and don't get stuck in a rut! :)

...tHaNkFuL...

2011-11-23T00:09:00.000-08:00

Every year...the night before Thanksgiving...I have a secret sort of ritual that I do. Before I go to sleep, I sit quietly and reflect upon the year that is almost gone. I go 90 miles an hour most of the time and sometimes I am not able to stop long enough in the moment to give thanks for all I have. Some years, the list of things I'm thankful for seem endless, and the people that have been in my life are many. Other years, like this one...the list is small and simple and the people that have been there no matter what...are few.

It's funny to me that as I sit tonight and reflect...month by month...it is very different than last year's reflection. We never know what twists and turns life will take or how different our life can become in just a few months time. It sounds cliche, but things I once took for granted...things I would never even counted as blessings...are some of the things I'm most thankful for.

I am thankful for laughter...laughter that I feel deep in my soul...laughter that is genuine and uncontrolled and loud. For all the tears that have been shed, there has been much laughter too. I am thankful for kind words of encouragement...encouragement that has held me up and given me purpose on days that I wanted to hide under the covers. For all the people that have judged and criticized me, there has also been an outpouring of love and encouragement both from a few people close to me and many strangers that have become friends. I am thankful for the 1200 sq ft room we call our gym. People that I care about there have come and gone...and lives there have changed dramatically...but some things remain constant. The barbells and the pull-up bars and the chalk stained rubber mats on the floor are still there and none of these things make exceptions for me.

The barbell tests me...mentally and physically. Some days, I have passed the test and left smiling...and some days I have failed and tears have fallen on those dirty rubber mats. Either way, I always know that those weights and that barbell won't leave me. They will always be there waiting for me and they don't care if I look pretty or if I'm funny, all that is required is effort.

I recognize now, that I took small miracles in my life for granted. Things that seemed like a burden or a constant that would never go away, have become things I long for. A day with nothing to do, used to make me sad and lonely...now I look forward to those rare day and cherish them. A warm body next to me at night seemed like something I would always have...now I sleep in between pillows and hope that someday that will change. Seemingly endless time to work out and focus solely on me used to be the rule, not the exception...now, I have to truly plan and sacrifice for the small time I have to do these things.

As sad as I have been at times this year, I am thankful for all the adversity that has come my way. My muscles may look smaller, but for all the times I left the gym feeling defeated or had to struggle to make it through a workout or pull myself up over the bar...I am stronger. I may have lost friends and people I loved along the way, but for all the tears that fell and nights I spent alone...I have a greater appreciation for the people that remain. I have failed and lost money and made mistakes trying to start a business. I have felt overwhelmed at times and wanted to give up, but I have learned valuable lessons and feel a drive to succeed. There's been times that I thought about walking away and giving up on my dreams, but in the midst of my small defeats...my will to fight and my confidence in my own abilities have grown.

I am thankful for the good times and the bad times...the happiness and joy and pain and suffering too. I'm thankful for the moments of clarity, as well as the confusion that were all part of my life this past year. I know that I am not alone either. Many people that will read this have suffered far greater adversity and loss than I have and some have suffered less, but we should all take a moment to give thanks for the good and the bad. Because ALL these things can make us more resilient and wiser, if we choose to let them. Take a moment today and reflect and give thanks. If there are things that you don't like, change them. If there are people holding you back, let them go. Either way, be thankful for each and every thing you have both enjoyed and endured throughout the year...because all of these things made you stronger...whether you realize it or not.

...TeLL yOuRseLf tHaT yOu CAN...

2011-11-12T07:24:00.000-08:00

The only one who can tell you that you can't is YOU! You don't have to listen! YOU choose the voice that you hear in your mind. You CHOOSE whether or not to see beauty or ugly...potential or a lost cause in the mirror. You CHOOSE to believe that you can or tell yourself that you can't, but remember this...the voice in your head is a powerful one. You can walk away from people telling you negative things. You can close a book or turn off a TV...but your thoughts are always with you. Make them positive and you will be surprised how much more you can accomplish!

...veTeRaNs dAy...

2011-11-11T10:11:00.001-08:00

It seems the thing to do on blogs or Facebook...to say "Thank you" to people in the military on Veteran's Day. Don't get me wrong. I am not belittling or making fun or saying that people are not sincere. I believe it is...and so for ME it is always hard to know what to say.

I don't think most of us truly take the time on a daily basis to think about the service that is being rendered to us...during the day and while we sleep. We forget that there are men and women sacrificing time with family, uprooting their families and leaving friends to move across the country and around the world, and risking their lives for people they do not even know. "Thank you" is what you say to someone that holds the door open for you at the store. Those words seem insufficient for such a selfless service, but I mean it sincerely when I say "Thank you!" to all my friends that do currently or have served our country in the military. I sleep sound at night because of you. Your strength amazes me.

...sAcRiFiCe...

2011-11-09T06:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I'll workout with the guys in the 6 AM class. Today, I have a lot to do, so I thought it would be great to get my workout done for the day...early. The workout was short and simple.

Row 300M

20 Push Press

Row 300 M

15 Push Press

Row 300 M

10 Push Press

Row 300 M

5 Push Press

I felt tired and weak even doing the warm up...usually NOT a good sign. I struggled through with the encouragement of the boys and when I was done, I rested. I was lying on the floor...gasping for air. My legs and my shoulders were aching and I was so glad to be done with the workout...for a moment. In just seconds, I went from feeling relief to feeling sorrow and disappointment.

I got up from the floor and made my way through the dark back room to the bathroom. The minute I locked the door, the tears began to fall and I buried my face in my arms so that if anyone came back to the bathroom, they wouldn't hear me crying. That only lasted for a couple of minutes, because I knew if I was gone long...someone would come looking for me and I didn't want anyone to see me like that. I splashed some cold water on my face and dried it off, put on a smile, and went back out to the gym to finish class.

I'm not the strongest girl around, but I can generally hold my own. I have done WAY worse workouts then this one and twenty 75 lb Push Presses in a row should NOT have been that hard!!! From the moment I cleaned the bar off the ground...it felt SO HEAVY! And from that moment on, I let the shock of that initial feeling take over. I struggled to get through every rep of that workout and when I say struggle...I'm not exaggerating! I'm talking flat out grunting and groaning and fighting for every rep. I wanted to quit, but I knew I couldn't. How could I drop the bar and give up when I spend my days telling people NOT to do that. What kind of an example would I be to the people in the gym that I push to do more?

For the few minutes that the tears were falling in the bathroom, thoughts and questions raced through my mind. "What has become of me?" "Why do I feel so weak?" "Maybe I have no place telling other people what to do." "If people saw me this morning, would they disregard EVERYTHING I've ever said?!?" I didn't really have the time to ponder these things at the time, but in the quiet hour since I dropped kids off at school...I've tried to sort these things out.

I could give a million excuses...some very valid, but I realize that nothing is going to change if I do that. I also realize that because there really are some things in my life affecting me, I have to accept myself where I'm at rather than constantly thinking and talking about they way I used to be! I think the problem that I am having is common to many of us. We only want to do things that we LIKE to do in order to change. I don't have a problem going in to the gym and working hard. That is NOT where my problem lies. I KNOW where and what the the problems are and I KNOW how to improve, but the problem is that I don't WANT to do things that are uncomfortable or hard for me. There are things I know I need to get rid of that I hang on to. I'd rather start going to the gym and spend 3 hours a day working out, than change my diet or get more sleep or go out less. There is no easy way. If there were, EVERYONE would be in shape and look great. And while desire and hard work are key ingredients...it takes sacrifice.

I always say that people do what they WANT to do. Our lives are not the way they are by accident. Whether good or bad, we got where we are through a series of choices, so I need to decide what I really want and think about what it takes to get there. Then...I need to STOP thinking and wishing and wanting...and start making some sacrifices! There will always be hard days in the gym, but there will be a lot less if I change...not in small, easy ways, but in the ways that count!

...LeAvE yOuR maRk...

2011-11-08T12:15:00.000-08:00

Don't be afraid to sweat! Get in the gym and work as hard as you can. Work until you can leave your "mark" on the floor! Chances are, if you aren't sweaty enough to do that...you didn't work hard enough!

...fiGhT WeLL...

2011-11-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

Ask yourself this question...
"When the going gets tough...when I'm scared or have doubts...when I am hurt...do I give up, or do I fight well?"

If you are satisfied with the answer to that question, good for you. If not...if you have become comfortable...if you have made a habit out of giving up or making excuses...stop. Make the necessary changes. Learn to fight for what you want.

I had things happen to me in my life early on that created a certain mindset...a mindset that caused me to feel like I had no control. It seemed like fighting was not worth it. Many times, I felt that I should just accept whatever came my way. I wanted to avoid any pain that I could at all costs. My life changed in ways that are hard describe when I learned the benefit of fighting...of risking failure and/or pain.

My friend and past trainer, Wes, was a big part of that. He didn't ask me to do things that were uncomfortable or give me an option. He didn't let me quit when I was unsuccessful. Wes made me try over and over again. He never set me up for failure and he helped me find success. This doesn't mean I never had setbacks or failures in the gym. I did, but I learned to fight and do things I once never thought I could...and in some instances, do them very well. The things I learned throughout this process in the gym have carried over to my day to day life outside of the gym.

I've become good at fighting physically to finish a workout or lift a certain amount of weight, but I have an area that I want to change...a part of me that is still connected to the child that felt powerless. It's my attitude. I never think of myself as a pessimist, but I live by the phrase "hope for the best, but expect the worst". I do this because it gives me a feeling of control. If things go well...it is a bonus, and if they go wrong...I can say "See! I knew that wouldn't work out well.". The problem with this is that this can become a defeatist attitude and I think that at times I create my own setbacks and failures. I need to work harder to train myself to BELIEVE that I will succeed.

I truly believe that winning is not the most important thing, but DO NOT CONFUSE THIS with me saying that you should be comfortable or happy with second place either. Fighting...playing...performing...working as hard as you can, with the INTENT to win and never give up, IS. I also believe that WHEN we "fight well", in a sense we do conquer and fighting well does not just include our physical ability...it includes our thoughts as well. Believe that you will succeed and then fight as hard as you can to make it happen physically AND mentally.

...aLL sHaPeS aNd siZeS...

2011-11-04T05:28:00.000-07:00

I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I've been the fat girl that was ignored and mistreated. I've been the girl that wore the swimsuit with a skirt and felt humiliated to be seen on the beach. I once had to beg a group of salesmen in a car stereo shop to help me. ALL of them were standing around...not busy...none wanted to wait on me and the one that finally did, walked off in the middle of my question to help a young, thin girl that walked in. I remember leaving and sitting in my minivan crying in the parking lot. I've also been the girl that walks in to a room or a bar and had all heads turn and watch my every move. I've had salespeople fight over who would help me. I've felt a sense of pride as I walk down the beach in a bikini. When you make the kinds of changes that I have made and you've swung so far on each end of the pendulum, it's hard not to feel a little "better than" sometimes. When you do the kinds of rigorous, extreme, difficult movements and workouts that I have done, it's hard not to feel a little elitist. I'm so glad that I don't.

Most everyone thinks that THEIR way...is the best way. I mean, why else would we chose to do the things we do if we didn't think that? And so it's easy for people that are bigger to put down people that are thinner and easy for thinner people to think bigger people should do something different or more. We are conditioned to narrow our view of what is pretty or what is strong or what is right. We think "pretty" means a certain color hair or a special kind of makeup...that being "good" means acting one way...that being "strong" should look like a certain body type. I have learned over the years that that is just not the case. Beauty and goodness and strength come in many different shapes and sizes. If we close ourselves off to the ways or looks that are different from our own...we lose out on so much. When we choose to close our minds to different ways, we limit our OWN possibilities and rob ourselves of the opportunity to grow and become better. We waste precious time we could be spending developing ourselves, trying to look or be like someone else. A lean yoga instructor and a female powerlifter both have different strengths and beautiful bodies, but if the female powerlifter thinks she should look like the yoga instructor...she will end up hating herself and never truly appreciate the beauty and the strength that she has.

Strength comes in ALL shapes and sizes. Fitness blogs and websites and magazines are a dime a dozen. You can find endless diet plans or workout plans or pictures of half naked fitness models. The world does NOT need more of that! What is different about me and the "Strong is the new skinny" Facebook page is that in MY eyes, there is NO one too skinny or too big to too strong or not strong enough or too sexy or not sexy enough. I truly believe that appearance is just a great side effect of the hard work we do in the gym. All of us are at different places and everyone should be working to better themselves rather than judging anyone else or feeling like we need to look like anyone else! I've said it so many times before and I'll say it again...BE THE BEST YOU, YOU CAN BE!

...iT dOesN't hAvE tO bE fUn tO bE fUn...

2011-11-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

"It doesn't have to be fun to be fun." ~Mark Twight

Some of my most favorite workouts are the ones I do outside. Today was no exception. I went up to the gym and flipped a big tire and jumped in and out of it and did ring rows and lunged and swung a sledgehammer and did sit-ups...almost all of it was outside in BEAUTIFUL, sunny, 70 something degree Texas weather! I don't know what it is, but I feel so free and so alive when I am doing this stuff outside with the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair.

I am ALWAYS very tired by the end, because doing this kind of stuff is basically good, old fashioned HARD WORK! Some people may say, "Why would you want to flip a big tire or swing a heavy sledgehammer if you don't HAVE to?". Well, I do it because I get to switch up my workouts and enjoy the outdoors while I'm working out. Also, I LIKE to work hard physically. To ME...it really IS fun...and I always feel like I've gotten a good workout and used some muscles that are hard to isolate with traditional exercises.

The next time you want to do something different...give this sort of workout a try. Find an old tire you can attach a rope to and drag it or hit it with a sledgehammer. Go to the park and do pull-ups on the monkey bars or try going across like a monkey...the way you did as a child. Find things in your garage or outside that you can use as weights. Drive to a hill and run up and down. Learn to be able to adapt and work hard without gym equipment. Gym equipment is nice and it IS important, but you don't ALWAYS need it. If you don't like this sort of stuff...LEARN TO LIKE IT! Grab a friend and make it fun! Get outside and don't be afraid of getting dirty. Try new things and be happy working hard!

Remember what my workout hero Mark Twight says..."It doesn't have to be fun to be fun!"

P.S. Ladies...and guys too...I have so many inspirational quotes that I have collected for YEARS! Recently, I started adding some of them to pictures that I find and using them here on my blog AND on the "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY" FB page, so I had a thought today. Why not highlight some of my FB and Blogging friends?!?!

If you would like to, email me a pic of yourself that includes your name and ONE short paragraph about you, or what motivates you, or whatever. I will sort through and find pics that I like to go along with some quotes and "edit" them! I will TRY to email or message you here when I am going to use YOUR pic so you can be sure to tell all your friends!

There's just a few "rules":
1. No nudity or anything that a child should not see. I know MY own teen is on the FB page and reads my blog posts, so I try as a Mom to be respectful of that.
2. If it takes a while or you don't see your pic, please don't get mad, offended, hurt feelings, or email me. I can say without even seeing the pics that there is no pic that anyone could send me that I would think is not good enough! But...as you mighta noticed...there's a lot of us and I'm one girl.
3. You have to be okay with me using your pic on the page and my blog. I assume that's the case if you are sending in a pic, but I thought I'd say it anyways. :)

I'm super excited! I LOVE giving all of y'all a chance to show the hard work and dedication that you have! You all deserve to be praised and noticed so PLEASE send me pics!!! They do NOT need to be professional. Many times action shots or everyday pics work better! Just think YOU can become someone else's inspiration with a lil help from ME!

My email is: marshachristensen@mac.com

...tHe bEsT woRsT tHiNg tHaT eVeR haPPeNenD tO mE...

2011-10-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

It was two years ago, on the last day of my vacation. I put on my bikini...grabbed my ipod...and headed for the ocean barefoot...ready to take my last walk that summer on the beach by myself. The wind was blowing my hair and the sun was really warm on my shoulders. Most people either come to the island or leave the island on Saturdays. We stayed an extra day, so it was a Sunday. People were spending their first day on the beach and I noticed the difference in the way it felt. There was an excitement in the air. It was the first time kids were digging in the sand...the first time umbrellas were being put up...beach toys looked new and clean...most people looked like they could use a tan. It felt good...but it was also a bittersweet moment. While everyone was so happy and excited...I was feeling regret over the fact that my week...my time...was gone.

I was walking along with the sand in my toes...music in my ears and the ocean washing over my feet every time the tide washed in. I was deep in thought when I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look and there were three men standing a little further in...the water was probably up to their knees. They were drinking beer...talking...staring at someone intently. I looked behind me...no one was there...checked both sides...still no one there...and then I realized that it was ME that they were staring at. When I looked back over...they were smiling and I smiled back as I continued to walk. One said, "Hey, how's it goin?" I turned my head their direction, smiled again, and said "Everything is great!"...never stopping. I heard one say to the other, "Damn! This is gonna be a GOOD week!" and I kind of laughed to myself.

I walked a little further...noticing people noticing me. It was strange. I stopped...and walked a little further out to stand for a minute or two. As I stood there, I thought about how very grateful I am to be the person that I have become. I am grateful to be in the best physical shape of my life. I feel and look better than I did at 25 (minus the wrinkles around my eyes). I am stronger than I have ever been...both physically and mentally. I grew up never liking who I was...never feeling pretty...never feeling good enough...never feeling like I was good at anything. I didn't like who I was...which was part of what led me to the place I was at my lowest...200 lbs...hating myself...sad...and hopeless.The journey I took over the year it took me to lose 70 lbs...the people that I met along the way...and the years that have come and gone since have changed me...in every way. I feel like the old me died and a new me was born. I am still haunted by the ghost of who I use to be from time to time. Some days I look in the mirror and I see the old me in my reflection, but I actually can say I like myself now. I will always struggle, but I want to learn to love myself and see myself as others do.

I watched the water and the pelicans diving for breakfast and thought back on the time when I let myself go and fell into such a dark place. I have so many painful memories of that time. I was thinking that in many ways, it was one of the worst things that happened to me...and then it occurred to me. Maybe that was not the worst thing that happened to me. I believe that in many ways it may have been the best thing that ever happened to me. I truly feel that in the past 8 years, I have become the person that I was always meant to be. I have grown and learned things about myself...knocked down walls and faced fears...made some of the best friends I've ever had...and learned what it is that I want to do with my life. At that moment, I came to the realization that gaining and losing the weight, was the best worst thing that ever happened to me. I turned to walk back towards our villa, but I no longer felt sad...I felt thankful...thankful for the time I had in my favorite place doing what I like with people I love...and thankful to be who I am...not by nature or the grace of God...but through my own efforts.

...aSk nOt foR a LigHteR buRdEn...

2011-10-29T12:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life, it can feel as though the task we face and the burden we have to carry are too much. We can always wish for lighter burdens or choose to give up...or...we can work towards broader shoulders that are more capable of carrying the heavy load. This applies to life in general AND in the gym.

You can take it easy, or you can continually push yourself towards more. So what if you can't lift the weight. Keep trying and eventually you will. So what if you finish last. Someday you won't, but you'll never know that if you quit. It may not happen as quickly as you would like...but it WILL eventually happen. You will be stronger and have those "broader shoulders"...capable of more. You will have the confidence and ability to take on any task and face any burden that comes your way.

ANYBODY can complain. ANYBODY can give up at the first sign of discomfort. Don't be just ANYBODY...be more. Be somebody that stands out...a bright spot in an otherwise dark situation. In the words of Jim Rohn, "Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better."

...LiKe mOtHeR...LiKe dAuGhTeR...

2011-10-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

"As moms, we set the tone in teaching our girls about appearance and what it means." ~from the book "You'd Be So Pretty If..."

Most of us would never tell our daughters that they look fat or that their nose is too big or that we wished they looked like someone else...but how many times have we said these things about OURSELVES in front of our daughters. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I know I have...many times. It's a terrible habit that I've had practically my whole life. I was never happy with my weight or my appearance and if I am honest...there are many times that I still struggle.

I grew up in a house with a Mom that was overweight most of my life. It seemed like she made fun of herself or put herself down constantly. She was always telling us girls that we didn't want to grow up and be fat like her, and she was extremely sensitive about her appearance. It has always made me sad that my Mom says she is fat and ugly and dumb. I always wanted my Mom to fix herself up and feel pretty. I wanted her to lose weight and be healthy. I wanted her to feel smart, but mostly I wanted to feel proud to say "This is my Mom." and have her be confident in herself.

I don't constantly say I'm dumb and I have worked very hard to NOT be a sensitive as my Mom was and still is. I am the first one to laugh at my short comings and I can take a joke pretty well, but when it comes to my appearance...I am very critical of myself. I nitpick and worry about every last detail and being a very vocal person without much of a filter...many times I will say things in front of my kids that I should not say. "I feel fat." "I hate my nose and wish I could get a nose job." "I look gross today." "Why are people staring at me? Do I look bad?" etc etc etc.

Writing is interesting for me because when I blurt these things out...I don't think another thing about it. But seeing these things written out, makes me feel embarrassed and regretful. I remember once standing in front of my mirror. I was all fixed up for the day complete with hair, makeup, accessories, and high heels. I stopped to make one final look so I could make sure everything was just as I wanted it to be...perfect. I got a disgusted look on my face and said, "Ugh. Somedays I just feel so fat and ugly." under my breath. I turned and my daughter, Savanna, was standing there. She was in that awkward stage...13 and braces...not a child, but far from being a woman. She looked at me and then I saw her look at herself in the mirror. She sucked in her tummy and smoothed her shirt...fixed her hair and made a confused face. She looked at me and looked at herself. My kids love me and look up to me. They are always telling me how pretty I am and want to do things like me. I could tell what she was thinking..."If you are 'fat and ugly'...what am I?"

As soon as I saw her face, I felt really bad. Before I could say anything, she said, "Mommy, please don't say that! You are so pretty and skinny!" I regretted saying those things in front of her that day and I apologized and told her she was right, but what just struck me as I wrote this, is that I say "I regretted saying those things IN FRONT OF HER." when in reality, I should regret saying them to MYSELF as well!

Being a mother is the most important job a woman will ever do. With that job, comes great responsibility...responsibility that does not end when our kids are grown. I've often said, that the moment I had children...my life ceased to be my own. The choices we make and the things we say have a direct result on the way our children not only see us as mothers, but themselves as well. We have to work every day to BE the positive influence that we want for our children. They watch everything we do, whether we want to believe that or not. The next time you want to say something mean about or to yourself...ask yourself this question..."Would I want my daughter to say this about herself?" I bet if we all did that, the way we treat ourselves and the example we set would vastly improve!

...rEaCh aNd gRoW...

2011-10-18T20:34:00.000-07:00

I still vividly remember the first time I attempted to climb a rope as an adult. I was 39 years old, but I felt like I was 11. I was instantly taken right back to 6th grade. I still remember the detached gym building at my elementary school and all the kids standing in a circle as we each took turns attempting to climb the rope. The anxiety I felt was so great. I HATED the rope climb because I never could get to the top. I always felt like such a loser. I wished I could be more like the kids that seemed to climb right up and down with ease. I stood there...looking up...bracing myself for the embarrassment...hating it as much as I did all those years ago.

It took me a few tries...but eventually...to my surprise...I made it up to the top and back down. I felt surprised and happy and proud. Even though no one from my 6th grade P.E. class saw me...I felt like I had finally redeemed myself...finally proven myself. As I drove home smiling, I thought about what got me up that rope now. Why was I able to get to the top of a rope with no knots as an adult and I couldn't get past the first knot as a child.

It didn't take long for me to answer my own question. Sure, I was stronger. I had been working out intensely for years, but I believe it was something more that just physical. I was scared, but I had learned to conquer my fears in the gym. I learned over the years that if I failed, it didn't mean that I hated the task and went on to something else. It meant I needed to keep trying...over and over and over again...until I accomplished my task. I learned to believe that I could do it.

In the time since then, I've learned that when I set goals, work hard, believe in myself, and refuse to give up...eventually I am able to do things that I once only dreamed I could. Look at the things that you may be struggling with...whether it's pull ups or climbing a rope or lifting a certain amount of weight. Stop making excuses and telling yourself, "I can't." Visualize yourself doing these things and don't ever give up. It took me a year and a half to get pull-ups and 28 years before I could climb a rope. Had I quit...had I not believed that I could...I never would've experienced the joy I felt the day I touched the ceiling as I hung on that rope. Keep reaching...even when it seems impossible...because when you refuse to stop reaching...that's when you grow!

...rEsisTaNce...

2011-10-11T07:35:00.001-07:00

I've said it so many times over the past year..."Why can't anything just be easy?!?" Lately, it has felt like I have met resistance of some kind no matter what I do. It's like trying to run with the wind blowing against you. I get mad sometimes. Other times, I feel sorry for myself. It doesn't happen every day, but there have been days where I find myself wishing for a break...hoping things will get easier...praying that some of the resistance will go away.

When I came across the picture above, I liked it and saved it on my computer. This morning as I was looking through some of my collection of inspirational quotes and pics...I came back across this. Today...it helped give me a little different view of my life and the struggles and resistance that I have been facing.

Anyone that has studied exercise or training has heard the term Resistance Training. Resistance training is a form of strength training. In Resistance Training, effort is performed against an opposing force that is generated by resistance that can include being pushed, squeezed, or bent. According to the American Sports Medicine Institute, the goal of resistance training is to "gradually and progressively overload the musculoskeletal system so it gets stronger". It has been proven that resistance training done regularly will tone and strengthen muscles and also increase bone mass. To get the full benefit from resistance training, full range of motion is very important. It's important because the muscle overload only happens at the specific angles where the muscle is working, so if a person stops short or quits too soon...they will not reach that angle and thus not get the full benefit that they would have had they gone all the way.

I hate when I'm running...especially uphill...and the wind is blowing hard against me. I feel like I am exerting so much energy only to be pushed backward or make very slow progress. But...if I just continue to run and push a little harder...I ALWAYS eventually get to where I was headed. Many times, the next day, I am more sore because my muscles had to work harder against the resistance from the wind to keep propelling me forward. It hurts but I always feel a greater sense of accomplishment, and I do believe that those days make me a better stronger runner. Anyone can run when the weather is right and they feel great and the road is flat, but it takes something more to run uphill with the wind blowing against you.

Resistance Training can apply not just in the gym or on a running trail, but also in our lives in general. Just as the resistance training we do in the gym builds stronger, larger, more toned muscles...the resistance we face in life can build a stronger will and a larger, better developed character. The key is "full range of motion". If you stop halfway in the gym or on a windy path...because it hurts or because you think you can't do it...you will not have the same adaptation and results as you will if you continue to push against that resistance until you have gone all the way and stressed the muscles at the desired angle. Similarly, if we give up in life and stop...because we are tired or sad or frustrated...we will not experience the opportunity for growth that is possible when we come across resistance.

I'm trying to learn to welcome resistance in my everyday life the same way I welcome it in the gym...to look at it as an opportunity for growth...not an obstacle. None of us will escape facing resistance from time to time. What separates us, is how we choose to meet that resistance. Don't give up. Don't let the weight hold you down or the wind push you back. Fight against it. Whether you push back with equal or greater force and grow stronger, or whether you allow it to hold you down is up to YOU.

...bE goLdEn...

2011-10-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." ~Barbara Bloom

In life, we will all suffer "damage" in one way or another. For some, the damage is greater than others. However, it sometimes seems as though the people in life that have suffered the most, seem to deal with their challenges or make something good come out of them better than those of us that are facing small challenges in comparison. Maybe that's because it's harder to feel like small everyday events or setbacks can be shaping us. We see them as annoyances or excuses to complain, rather than an opportunity to change and become stronger in some way.

I believe that everything we do...every decision we make...has a serious impact on the quality and direction of our lives. Because of that, it's important to learn from everything we do and to have an attitude of humility. If we are not humble, we are not teachable. If we are not teachable, we cannot move forward.

No matter the challenge you are facing...whether it's serious or small...life changing or an inconvenience...whether it's in the gym or in your everyday life...allow it to help you grow and become better and stronger. Use the challenges you face like the Japanese use gold. Every time you face a setback or some sort of damage to your body or in your life, visualize making that damage stronger with gold. Allow challenges to make your experience and your life more beautiful and more valuable. See everything as a golden opportunity to better yourself, rather than an excuse to quit!

...bE aWaRe...

2011-09-29T05:13:00.000-07:00

I have three great kids. These days I have one in high school, one in middle school, and one with just one year of elementary school left. I love my kids and although I'm a little unorthodox at times...my desire has always been to be a good Mom and I think I am. I've visited the elementary schools many many times for awards ceremonies and holiday parties and spelling bees and lunches. Honestly, I'm glad that I am almost done with the elementary school scene. I have never really liked going up to the elementary school. I only go when I need to, because I never feel like I fit in with all the "PTA Mommies". I'm not knocking "PTA Mommies"...not at all! Some of my dear friends are the best pro PTA gals to ever have lived! Those ladies spend a ridiculous amount of time and give up chunks of their lives for ALL our kids, but I just can't seem to do it. I don't seem to be cut from the same mold. I don't think of myself as better...just different...and you know how us "girls" can be. Some are just plain mean. I never think a thing about how people are dressed...but every time I show up in workout clothes...you would not believe the stares I get...and no, it's not from a few Dads...it's mostly from the Moms. You would think I'm walking the halls in a thong and tube top rather than some workout pants and a tank. It sounds dramatic, but it really is unreal!

As I woke up feeling a lil lazy and unmotivated today, I thought about something that happened several years ago. I remember that I was up at the school for my daughter's 4th grade awards ceremony...sporting workout clothes since I was headed to the gym afterwards. I did indeed workout afterwards and then had just enough time to leave the gym and grab some lunch to take up to the school at noon for the picnic that the kids with "outstanding behavior" get to have with their parents on awards day every six weeks.

I checked in at the office and said "Hello" to a woman that has a daughter that has been in my daughter's class a couple of years in a row. As we walked down the hall to find our kids, I caught her giving me the eye (up and down...up and down...up and down). And then I remember the short conversation word for word that followed as I was feeling really uncomfortable and wishing we'd hurry up and find our kids. She said, "You've been working out!' I smiled and nodded, "Uh huh.". Then she said it..."You're so lucky! I wish I had the energy to workout. You know, SOME OF US...just don't have all that EXTRA time and energy!" I stood there surprised...thinking "What the hell is she taking about?!? I'm exhausted and have been running NON STOP to be able to get a workout in in the midst of everything else I needed to do!". Before I could say anything out loud, Savanna ran up. You can only imagine my relief as we walked our separate way.

I thought it then...and I still think it now. This woman was about my same age. She was not tiny, but she wasn't overweight either. So why do people think that I somehow have different "energy"??? I don't have anything special or different that she didn't or still doesn't have. Okay well maybe I have a few things. I have desire... commitment... and will. Still, it is amazing to me that people think like that...like they have no control...like it's somehow easy for me. It makes me sad that people forget how much control that they have. What a waste! I wish everyone could KNOW just how much potential and greatness lies inside us all. I want to make people aware that ANYONE can change...ANYONE can be fit and strong.

Greatness is different for different people and greatness does not come from how much weight you can lift or what sports you excelled in in school. Greatness begins in your mind...in believing that you can be better, happier, stronger. I want anyone that reads this to know that. Yes, you DO have to work hard and exercise willpower and control. Yes, you DO have to experience pain and conquer the fear of doing things that are hard or different. Thinking about lifting weight will not make you strong. You have to believe in yourself and be AWARE of your potential as well. I wish I would have had the desire and time to tell that lady these things that day as I quickly walked away. I'm not special...I'm aware. Be aware.

...dEfiNiTioN...

2011-09-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

"I BELIEVE THAT THE DEFINITION OF DEFINITION IS REINVENTION. TO NOT BE LIKE YOUR PARENTS. TO NOT BE LIKE YOUR FRIENDS. TO BE YOURSELF. COMPLETELY." ~Henry Rollins

Most of us that workout have talked about muscle definition at one time or another. That's what I've been wanting more of lately...more definition. One thing that many average gym goers don't understand is that while it is important to lift weights...much of the muscle "definition" that people are looking for comes from being lean. You can work the muscles but if they are covered up with fat...you will never see good muscular definition.

I started thinking that defining who we are on the inside is much the same. Just as we have to take the steps necessary to see good muscular definition...by working hard in the gym and losing fat...we need to have the courage to take the steps necessary to define who we can be on the inside as well. We have to be willing to be different...to struggle...to get rid of the extra fluff that conceals who we really are...who we want to be. If we are trying to pretend to be someone we are not...or if we are struggling to be the person we THINK everyone else wants us to be...we won't be able to see the true definition of who we are on the inside. It will cover up our true selves just like extra fat hides muscles.

Be strong enough to work for what you want in the gym...even when it hurts or it's inconvenient, and be strong enough to be yourself...even when other people may not like it. Decide. Do. Define. Decide who you are...who YOU want to be. Do what it takes. Define YOURSELF...inside and out.

...stReNgTh cOmEs aFteR aDveRsiTy...

2011-09-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

It seems so silly that here I sit...in Texas...not personally knowing a single person that was there that day in September...10 years ago...yet the tears stream down my cheeks as I try to write this. My heart breaks for people I do not know and if I allow it to, the anger could be overwhelming.

I'm no different than many people. I can tell you where I was that awful day. I still vividly remember everything around me. I can almost remember how the towel felt in my hands that I was folding...how I dropped it and sat on my bed and cried...8 months pregnant...scared to death...with a toddler in the other room sleeping that was completely unaware of how the world changed while she napped. I remember crying...for days.

Honestly, I don't even want to turn on the TV today...not because I don't want to pay tribute or because I don't care. It hurts. It's funny how the pain of the "heart" can be worse than any physical pain we could possibly endure...but then again...while our heart is technically an organ, it is made up of cardiac muscle.

The pain we experience after a tough workout comes from tiny tears created in the muscle. Within 12 to 24 hours, our white blood cells begin to try and repair the damage, but along with the repair comes pain and soreness. It can last a day or two and then it subsides. It isn't fun to experience that discomfort but those of us that understand what is happening can actually come to enjoy it...not because it feels good...but because we know it serves a purpose. As these tears repair themselves, our muscles become a little stronger...more resilient...a little more prepared to endure the same type of exercise even better the next time we do it. The muscle does not immediately grow and we are not immediately able to lift more weight in the following days. It takes time for the muscle fibers to build up so that we become stronger.

I guess in some ways, our hearts are no different than our biceps or quads. Things happen...tragedies occur...and tiny tears are created in our hearts. Just like workouts, the intensity varies and so does the pain afterwards. If we give up at the first sign of pain or tell ourselves that we cannot endure, then we never give ourselves the opportunity to grow stronger.

9/11 was more than a tiny tear in the "muscle" of my heart. It felt as though it had been ripped in half and although I have healed...the scar tissue remains. Just as aches and pains come from old injuries, today I feel that old ache in my heart. I think we all do. The ache...the pain...is not bad or wrong. It serves a purpose if we let it. It sounds cliche, but I do truly feel that America is stronger because of the attacks on 9/11 ten years ago. As much as I want to avoid the sadness that I know I will surely feel today, I won't. I will take the time to give thanks for all that I have...right here in front of me. I will take a moment and be grateful that there are men and women that have jobs where they willingly risk their lives to save the lives of others. I will not run from the pain. I'll take it in and embrace the opportunity to grow stronger from it.

...tOuGh hAnDs...sOfT hEaRt...sTroNg wOmAn...

2011-09-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

"A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep." ~Vernon Howard

Today I worked out with the 6AM group. The workout was:

10 Rounds for time

200M Sprint

7 Pull-ups

10 Box Jumps (22 in)

I ended up doing 11 rounds to finish with the last person...so all in all, I did 77 pull-ups. It was tough but a lot of fun. My hands have really toughened up over the years. When I first started doing pull-ups, I used to rip open and bleed or get big blood blisters EVERY time I did 40 or more. Now, my threshold is more like 100. I have toughened my hands up over the past 3 years and I rarely bleed. That is good on days like today. I was so excited that I didn't rip or get any blood blisters that I posted this pic up on Facebook when I got home with the caption, "Look Mom! Lotsa pull-ups...lotsa chalk...NO RIPS OR BLISTERS! Yay!" It was nice to have friends "like" it or comment and say nice things. Validation from peers always feels good.

So as I was driving home from taking kids to school and my hands...although not bleeding...were hurting as I gripped the steering wheel, I started to think how strange it is...how different I am than I use to be. If you'd told me 10 years ago that I would first, do 77 pull-ups...and second, post a picture of my chalky hand on the internet...I would have laughed.

I worked hard...and it HURT...and I was out of breath and tired at the end...and I was happy. I drove home feeling a sense of accomplishment and feeling good about myself. It was nice to receive compliments and know that my friends thought I did a good job, but that was just the icing on the cake. The real joy I felt, came from within...because I felt strong. I didn't need anyone else to approve of me or tell me I was good enough in that moment, and neither should you.

Whether you do 77 pull-ups or get your first one or do them all assisted...no matter where you are at...KNOW that you are strong. Don't be afraid of the pain or the fact that you might get hurt. Pain goes away and ripped hands heal. Push yourself to the limit so that when you walk out the door of the gym, you can feel that same inner happiness and confidence that I felt this morning. Don't make excuses. Don't say "I can't!". Do what you can do to the best of your ability and don't wait for someone else to tell you that you are strong. Believe that you are and behave accordingly.

...bEhoLd tHe pOwEr oF sPaNdeX!...

2011-09-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

I do try to be inspirational and real. None of this is about promoting ME...it's about changing the way people think and how they see themselves and the world too. When I was not strong, everything was a big deal. The smallest mistakes and failures would ruin me for a whole day...or two. I can still be a little dramatic at times and I'm a crazy magnet. If something strange or crazy is gonna happen...it will happen to ME...but I've learned to laugh. Sure, I still have days where I fall into old, bad habits, but I'm so much better than I used to be. I don't take myself half as seriously as everyone else does anymore.

SOOOOO...having said that...today will be just a silly post...nothing inspirational...or touching...no tips or big "AHA!" moments...just a funny story. It's actually a re-post from something I wrote last year on my other blog "Blonde Revelations: the introspective thoughts of an imperfect perfectionist". I was reminded of this because I put up a discount code for one of my favorite workout wear sites, Otomix, on the "Strong is the New Skinny" FB page. I got a few random "thank you"s and comments, but one last comment caught my eye this AM. A man said, "As a man looking at those cloths they are only designed for one purpose and nothing else...". So I took the bait and asked "What's that Nichlas?" and he commented "To make men go crazy! Now i have to buy those cloths for my woman damnit!"

It IMMEDIATELY reminded me of this old post. The capris I'm wearing are from Otomix, which makes it even funnier. Anyways...if you only want inspirational or you don't wanna hear just a random story about a trip to my local Walmart...stop reading now. If you're game...here it is! CLICK HERE and read.

...tHe bEsT mE...

2011-09-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting." ~ E E Cummings

Going to the salon for most women is a very different experience than men. We don't just rush in, get a quick trim, and leave. Most of us spend hours there...at least I do. And I never sit in silence. My hairdresser is like a friend. We talk about all sorts of things...our lives...friends...family...fun nights out...break ups. There's pretty much nothing that's off limits. The last time I was in the chair...after we each shared a few ups and downs from the past month...I told my hairdresser that I truly believe if we could really see everyone else's problems, we would probably be more than happy to keep our own. He said, "You know...you are probably right about that!"

I received an email from a friend on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. I was shocked to hear that her beautiful, vibrant daughter had tried to kill herself. Thankfully, she was unsuccessful. ANYONE that saw pictures of this girl smiling...would never expect that. She appears to have not a problem in the world. She's strikingly beautiful and has a family that loves her. I am positive that many girls would look at her and wish they could be her, because they don't see her inner struggles.

Sometimes the girl with the smile...is crying inside. Sometimes the guy that has lots of muscles and a handsome face...is fragile and insecure. Sometimes the people that seem to have the perfect life...have more problems than any of us can imagine. It's easy to glamorize other people's lives or bodies...and wish to be a little more like them. We create stories for people all based on what we see on the outside...never really knowing how they feel when they are all alone or what challenges they may be facing.

I think it's easy to do this because then we can feel like we have an excuse. We rationalize our own behavior by saying things like, "I can't go to the gym because I am busy and I have kids and a job and I'm tired." We look at the lady with the great body in workout clothes in the store and think, "It's easy for her. She must not have anything to do but workout." There was a moment a couple of days ago when I felt like the underdog and I wished I could be the person making me feel that way instead. I've since decided that it doesn't matter how much money or fame a person has. I do the things I do here, not for recognition or money, but to help other people. I wouldn't trade that for all the fancy lawyers or magazine photos or money in the world.

Don't fall into this way of thinking like I did. Excuses are for the weak and whining is for babies. Don't ever compare yourself to others or try to be like someone one else. Work on you. Change what you don't like. Correct the mistakes and weaknesses. But most importantly, BE YOU...at your best. Instead of trying to be like others, become the one that others want to be like!

...nEvEr tOo oLd...

2011-08-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

Strong is not about whether you are a man or a woman...young or old. Being strong is about having desire. It's about being willing to do something you've never done before. It's about working hard and never giving up.

I saw this video years ago and was so impressed. It just goes to prove that a mother's example does make a difference and that you are never too old to be strong!

...i hEaRt mArK tWiGhT...

2011-08-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

"It doesn't have to be fun to be fun." ~Mark Twight GYM JONES

I don't know him. I've never met him, but I love this man...Mark Twight! His words and videos inspire me and make me feel excited to go to the gym and work harder than I thought I could! This is one of my all time favorites!

...cuTTiNg oFF LiMbS...

2011-08-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

A few years after I moved into my house, I decided that I wanted to plant more trees. I only had 2, so I added 3 more. I chose specific trees for specific spots for specific reasons. At first, each of my new trees had stakes with wires that wrapped around the trunk. I didn't like the way it looked but I knew that it was important in order for them to grow straight and be protected when storms or high winds came. Soon, it was time to remove the support system. My trees were big enough to stand alone.

After a couple of years, I was excited to see that my trees began to grow...so much so that they needed trimming. My brother, that doubles as my handyman, explained how you know what branches to cut off. Any branches that were too low or growing down or even small branches growing inward, needed to be trimmed off because they were taking "energy" away from the healthy branches and doing nothing to help the tree become bigger and stronger. It's important to not wait too long because as long as there are branches that need trimming still there...they are taking energy and nutrients away from the branches that are good. And if you never trim the tree, it will never become as big or strong or beautiful as it COULD have been.

Back in February, I did something I thought I would never do...something I thought I would never need to do. I started seeing a therapist. My marriage was a mess and demons from the past were haunting me. I felt like I needed someone to talk to that didn't know me and wouldn't judge me. I still remember the first day sitting in a strange room...on an old ugly couch...looking at a stranger...as I wept uncontrollably and tried to tell her all the things that have hurt me or that are bothering me...in an hour. I am a control freak. I like to have control because there were times as a child when I had all my power taken from me...times when I should've been protected but I wasn't...feelings I felt that were not feelings I should have been feeling at that age. And so I try to have as much control now as I can, even though it doesn't change the past. I like to do things how I want to do them...when I want to do them. I like to always look just right and stay composed when I can. I felt so out of control...so ugly...so damaged. This was completely out of my comfort zone, but there was something strangely comforting at the same time about just getting it all out...telling all my secrets...admitting my shame...letting myself be vulnerable.

After I purged myself of all the things that were bothering me...I quickly began to try and regain control by telling the therapist what exactly I was doing to make changes and try to correct these problems. I told her how hard it was/is and how disappointed and upset some people were with me. I told her that I felt alone and scared. Finally, when I let her speak, she looked at me surprisingly unfazed and said,

"You have been hurt badly. You have held it in and made the choice to never use these things as an excuse to protect everyone else and keep a sense of pride. No one would ever believe the things that you have suffered because you have covered them up so well. Now, you have chosen to correct this by cutting off the things and people that cause you pain. The problem is that you are like a tree that hasn't ever been pruned. Instead of getting rid of these things as they came, you waited and let them continue to grow. You had so many limbs to cut off that you now feel very bare and very alone."

This made perfect sense. I had let things grow that should have been cut off sooner and made some huge changes in my life. It wasn't until the secret pain became unbearable that I finally did something about it...and I did it all at once. It has been scary to make these decisions and hard to deal with the consequences that have followed, but every day is a little better. New branches are growing where old, unhealthy ones were and the people that love me are learning to accept my changes and love me unconditionally.

So, you probably wonder what this has to do with anyone other than me. It's a warning if you will. Don't let unhealthy "branches" grow on your "tree" because it seems too hard to get rid of them. Take the things out of your life that weigh you down or keep you from reaching your true potential. Don't have friends that don't accept your commitment to eat and live healthy. Don't surround yourself with jealous people that want to drag you down. Avoid unhealthy relationships that cause you to doubt your worth and rob you of your goals. And when you do need to cut off branches, be brave. Value yourself enough to put in the work it takes to be your best. Don't be afraid of feeling alone at times or vulnerable, because in time you will be glad you made the changes. Finally, don't be too proud to ask for help. When trees have large branches that break or need to be removed, sometimes it takes a professional because the job is too big to do on your own. Rely on the people that care about you to help you make changes.

Just as it takes pruning to help a tree grow tall and strong, it takes making uncomfortable changes in our own lives to become the person we are meant to be. After the struggle...because of the work it takes to get there...in the end...we will become stronger than we ever thought possible.

...LiFe iS LiKe bOx jUmPs...

2011-08-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Box jumps are a funny thing. To some people, they are no big deal...to others the shortest box can be terrifying! Some people are okay until they fall or catch their shin on the edge...after that they are wary...or sometimes they then avoid THAT tall of a box altogether. Others can fall and bleed and jump right back up and keep jumping.

I brought my 9 yr old son, Jake to work with me. After everyone left, I was working out and he was on the couch. Next thing I knew, he had gotten some small dumbbells out of the locker and he was doing some shoulder presses behind me. After I corrected his form, I said, "You wanna do a couple of workouts while I finish?" He said "Sure." The 1st thing I was having him do, was a combo of 12 inch box jumps paired with ring rows. He jumped up on the box once...then twice...then the 3rd time he looked a lil iffy. I see it all the time, people get to feeling confident or get tired and they lose focus, get sloppy and that's when falls occur. As he was doing his 4th jump, I said, "When you get to the top, stop because I want to tell you something about staying focused." As I said this, he jumped, caught the box with a toe, hit his knee on the edge of the box, and landed on the lifting platform. You'd think it would've scared me. It didn't. This is normal. People fall or bleed in our gym. It happens.

My biggest concern was not whether or not he was hurt. I knew he'd be fine. I wanted to use this as a teaching experience. He was breathing deep, trying to hold back the tears, shoulders hanging down, frowning and looking at me with big brown eyes that look just like mine. I sat him down and talked about how important it is to stay focused, and I told him that he should get right back to jumping. "Don't be afraid of the box son. This happens in here all the time. The important part is that you don't become afraid of the box or feel like a failure. One day, you might fall again, and that's okay too. You get up and you jump again and again."
He nodded and smiled at me with glassy eyes, full of tears that he never let fall. We cleaned up his bloody knee and he finished the first of 3 short workouts.

I thought about my very own words as we drove home. That's when it hit me. Life really is like box jumps. Sometimes we are scared to jump. We doubt our ability to get that high, but when we do...it's so rewarding and builds our confidence. Sometimes we get cocky and unfocused. We jump without thinking or looking. We think that we are too good to fall. We might make it just fine a few times, but eventually, we catch our toe and take a tumble. It's humbling and even embarrassing sometimes, and this is where life weeds people out...where greatness is born or dies. Some of us may make mistakes or get knocked down and choose to give up or blame other people. Maybe those get up, but the never try to jump that high again and sentence themselves to a life full of "what ifs" and "coulda beens". But there's also those of us that get up, acknowledge the pain, clean the wound, and keep jumping...even when it hurts...even when we are afraid...knowing that we will probably fall again someday.

You have to choose which one you will be. The fall is not what makes one weak. It's what happens AFTER the fall that determines that. So if you fall, get up. Don't give up. Be strong and remember that failing does not mean you are a failure. It means you get another chance to jump!

...waLkiNg oN bRoKeN gLaSs...

2011-08-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

...(big sigh)...

Some days it feels like you can't win...like there's a road block at every turn...and broken glass on every path. It would be easy to cry or post "FML" as a Facebook status, but that doesn't break down walls or get us further down the path.

I was feeling a little stressed and on the phone getting some advice this morning. I rushed into the bathroom to get dressed to go to the gym and workout as I was talking on the phone and kicked the door about as hard as I ever have with my pinky toe. This poor pinky toe has been broken twice before as I'm always in a hurry and not known for my agility! The pain was so incredible that it took a few seconds before I could scream, cuss, or cry...all three of which I did when I was able to.

After I recovered from the immediate physical pain, my tears went from tears of pain to tears of frustration. I thought, "Why can't I catch a break?!? I just want to go workout and do what I need to do and I feel like I'm always kicking against the pricks so to speak or bathroom doors...whatever!"

Now my toe is throbbing and swollen and I know that it's gonna hurt to put on a shoe. I even said right afterwards on the phone, "Now I probably won't even be able to workout today!" I wanted to give up, unmake my bed, get back in, and scream "FML!!!" from under the covers.As I hung up the phone and dried my tears, I realized that I am unwilling to give up. I don't care who pushes me down, or hurts my feelings, or how many times I break my toe, or what kind of bad luck I face...I am going to keep on standing back up. I can't control what happens to me, but I can control how I react to it. I CHOOSE when to give up and I'm not ready to give up! I'm going to the gym and I will workout without shoes if I can't get em on!

It's fight or flight time and I'm not ready to fly so I better start fighting! Now is the time for me to climb over road blocks and walk through broken glass barefoot if I have to in order to get to something better on the other side. I might struggle and I may come out of this a little bruised and bloody, but I will look back stronger and smarter someday! So what, if I stubbed my toe and it hurts. I have no excuse to skip working out today and neither do you!

...nEEd LoVe???...GiVe iT tO yOuRsELf!...

2011-08-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

So, we all know that I am open...and honest with my feelings and challenges and insecurities...maybe to a fault...but it's who I am so this lil peek into my sometimes neurotic world probably won't come as a big surprise. I have always struggled to feel like I am enough. I feel like I'm "Miss Almost"...almost smart enough...almost funny enough...almost lovable enough...almost fit enough...almost pretty enough...almost strong enough...etc etc etc.

I have always looked OUTSIDE of myself for reassurance. It's like I NEED people to laugh to think I'm funny or I NEED a compliment to know I'm pretty. Lots of people think it's a joke when I say this or when I have asked if I look "fat" or if I "look okay". They don't understand why I can't see what they see. I've been very blessed to have many people that have complimented me or reassured me throughout my life, but I shouldn't need that.

Life is full of ups and downs...highs and lows. I feel like my life is a ferris wheel...sometimes I'm excited. I'm rising to the top and feel like nothing or no one can stop me! When I'm on top, I feel alive. I feel like I've accomplished something. The people beside me hold on to me and I am happy. Then come's the descent... I feel a lil afraid...maybe worried, but I'm still holding on to bits and pieces of the way I felt at the top. I start to look to other people to distract me and hold on to me so I can feel safe. I always feel like by the time I get to the bottom, I'm alone. I desperately want someone...anyone...to help me...to reassure me and remind me how I got to the top before. It's hard not to freeze and easy to give up hope and feel like the ride is over, but anyone that has risen a ferris wheel knows that even when the ride is over...another ride is not far behind...another chance to rise.A couple of nights ago, I was feeling like I am at the bottom...like my "ride" is over...and . I wanted so badly to have someone there to tell me everything will be okay...to say "No, you're not fat!"..."Yes, you are beautiful."..."No, you're not unlovable."..."Yes, one day, you will feel as on top of the world as you once did." There was no one there...just me. It was hard, but I also know that everything in life can be a learning experience...if we let it be.

I'm learning that sometimes "the ride" is over. Sometimes, we have to get off and let other people take their turn. I am not known for my patience so I guess I have felt ready to give up, because my turn wasn't coming soon enough. I want to be entertained and happy all the time and surrounded by people, but that can't always be. So I asked myself why I hate to be alone...and I think the answer came to me today as I was lying on my bed thinking.

I hate to be alone, because I want to be reassured by everyone else, but in truth...I don't need anyone else. I SHOULD be able to get reassurance from within. I should KNOW that I am smart and beautiful and funny and fit and strong. No one else should have to tell me. Compliments are nice, but getting a compliment does not CHANGE the way I look or how well I do things. Having a friend or a special someone makes the ride more fun, but people go away or stop loving you or disappoint you. In the end, if you are not strong enough to pull yourself up and be patient and wait for things to get better...you end up miserable. If you wait on other people to MAKE you happy or to MAKE you feel good enough...you'll always be frustrated and desperate.Knowing all this doesn't mean it's easy, but nothing good ever is. That is where strength comes in. Love YOURSELF. Tell YOURSELF it will be okay. Look in the mirror and KNOW that you ARE beautiful and smart and funny and strong enough. Don't look to other people...look to YOURSELF and be strong...even when it feels like the end.

...hUrTs sO gOOd...

2011-08-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

From the time my kids were old enough to crawl, I've taught them to be careful. It's for their safety; their protection. I gave them plastic utensils with rounded edges. I "kid-proofed" my house. I was there to catch them when they fell taking their first steps. I taught them not to touch a hot stove, and to be careful not to shut their fingers in the door. I taught them just like my mom taught me and her mom taught her. No matter how careful a parent is, accidents happen. Bones get broken. Eyes get poked. Knees get scraped. Hands get burned, and fingers get smashed. It's a part of life that all parents try to protect their kids from for as long as they possibly can, but in the end, all kids get hurt and feel pain.

By the time we're adults, it's an accepted fact of life. We know that we will get hurt and feel physical pain somehow...somewhere...sometime, but we are programmed from an early age to avoid pain...at all costs...just like I programmed my children when they were babies. We are taught that pain is bad. Pain is scary. When we feel pain, we do everything we can to numb it...bandaids...ice packs...medicine. We want the pain to go away...fast, and we are careful never to repeat the action that caused the pain in the first place.

My body is sore and tired today and my heart hurts. Today, I feel pain, but I guess that's not so unusual for me. I workout...hard..and so many times...I experience the feeling of pain. Sometimes, it's my back. Sometimes, my legs...my butt...my arms. Sometimes, it's my heart; my soul. Sometimes it's hard to tell where it hurts. I just know I feel pain. It hasn't been until the past several years that I learned to appreciate pain...to like pain. No, I'm not some kinky masochistic freak. I'm someone that has learned to respect pain...to understand it...to work through it...to live in it...to use it for my own benefit rather than fighting against it.

Pain teaches me. It refines me. Sometimes when my muscles ache, and I scramble for the Advil and ice packs, I stop and take a step back. My body is sore...hurting...because today I used it. I worked hard to make myself the best I can be. When it hurt, I didn't stop...I pressed on and grew stronger. When it was hard...I rose to the challenge and built endurance; confidence. The pain, the hurt is an affirmation that I did the best I could. When my heart breaks and my soul is battered, it is because I have been hurt..somehow...by someone...maybe an unkind word or a disagreement...maybe loneliness or disappointment...maybe unrequited love or even betrayal. This pain is much harder for me to embrace. It is very tempting to do whatever I can to ignore this pain...to find a way...any way that I can...to keep from feeling this pain...to stuff it down...to build a wall and shut myself off from the possibility. I've learned that it is important not to push this pain down but to feel it...to acknowledge it...to learn from it, because this pain also teaches me...even makes me better...stronger too. I am learning that it is better to risk this pain than it is to be alone and sacrifice happiness...love...friendship. It may be harder for me to accept the pain of heartache than it is to accept physical pain, but surviving heartache helps me appreciate those that truly love me...that handle my heart and soul with care. It reminds me that the way I treat others really does matter.

Pain is a part of life. It comes whether we invite it or not...embrace it or reject it...work with it or against it. Everyone has experienced the strange phenomenon where pain actually feels good physically. An example being the fact that massaging a sore muscle can hurt so bad and feel so good at the same time. It only takes a moment, but if we jump up at the first touch, afraid to feel the pain, we cheat ourselves out of the pleasure that follows. I will continue to see pain as a positive force in my life; a catalyst for change. I will use it as a gauge for progress. I will be patient and brave and strong and wait until the misery subsides and allow the pain to "hurt so good"...again...and again...and again.

...FiNd yOuR StRoNg...

2011-08-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

It’s easy to say that you know how you would react in a certain situation when you are not knee deep in the middle of it. It’s easy to have courage when you are not scared. It’s easy to be strong when things are going well. Dealing with the physical and mental pain that is necessary for growth does not come naturally. Sure, some of us have a higher pain tolerance than others, but as a general rule…it is human nature to want to avoid pain. Sometimes, we are faced with challenges in life that test our faith and our ability to be strong when no one would blame us for being weak. It is in those times that the strength we need is not always easy to find. I got to see this firsthand over the past week.

A couple of years ago, I took my then thirteen year old daughter, Savanna, to the pediatrician to get a routine physical for swim team. Everything was just as I expected so I wasn’t paying close attention as our doctor examined her. Towards the end of her exam, Dr. Sampson told her to take off her shirt so she could check her back. Savanna was not exactly excited about this but she did it. As the doctor made notes, she told Savanna to bend over. I wasn’t really looking at her, but I saw her bend out of the corner of my eye and heard the pediatrician say, “No Savanna. Bend ALL the way over.” Still not looking, I heard, “Savanna! I need you to put your feet together…don’t bend your knees and bend STRAIGHT down!” At this point I looked up and before I could tell Savy to do what the doctor said, the doctor looked at me and said, "Mom, we have a problem. Come over here and look at this.I was shocked at what I saw! My daughter was crooked. She couldn't even bend straight over and there was a very OBVIOUS curve in her spine. In typical "Mommy" fashion, I felt guilty. I started firing off questions like, "Weren't you tested for scoliosis in 5th grade?!?" "How could I have missed this?!?" Even though, there's nothing I could've done...I felt guilty. Things started to make sense. Things like how she was always over to the side when she set up on the blocks to dive at swim meets...and why she couldn't dive straight out but plopped in the water and then had to swim twice as fast to catch up.We were sent to Scottish Rite Hospital for children in Dallas to see a specialist there. They took x-rays and told us that she had a 43 degree curve. It was too late for a brace, but too early to talk about surgery since they usually wait until there are signs in the x-rays that the patient is done growing before they operate. We went back the following year. She now had a 45 degree curve, but was essentially done growing. They scheduled us to come back a year later which was this past spring. The doctor told us that she was not required to have surgery. A 50 degree or higher curve means that surgery is absolutely necessary. He also told us that she had what is called "trunk shift" which means the top of her body (waist up) and the bottom were not in alignment. It had become very obvious just by looking at her, that there was a problem and she was very sensitive about it. In the end, her doctor at Scottish Rite Hospital recommended surgery and she made the choice to do it. Savanna was tired of being crooked...tired of not being able to dive off the blocks at swim meets like everyone else...tired of having to worry about what clothes she could wear to hide it...and tired of feeling different. We supported her decision and made an appointment for surgery.

Fast forward to last week...the week of her surgery. We got up early and drove for 45 minutes to get to the hospital by 7:45 AM on Thursday. Me, Savanna, and her dad spent ALL day seeing doctors, nurses, dieticians, pharmacists. She gave blood, took multiple x-rays, and participated in a study. Her emotions were all over the place, but for the most part...she did well. She was looking forward to getting "straightened out" and although no one sugar coated what she would go through...I knew she had no concept of what she was in for. The doctor decided to do the posterior surgery. There's less chance of infection when the organs don't have to be moved like they are in the anterior option, but that means the doctor has to move the big muscles of the back which causes a lot of pain during recovery. I worried about her recovery. I wondered how she would hold up emotionally.The surgery was successful and went exactly as planed. MOST kids are groggy...tired...and super sleepy after a 4 hour surgery when they are wheeled into the recovery area...not Savanna. She was trying to sit up and talked incessantly. She kept taking my hand and saying "Is this a dream?" I said, "No. You are all done, baby." She would say "I did it?!?!?!" I said, "Yes. You did!" It amazed everyone there...and for the next 2 days...she continued to amaze us. She was so determined to get better. She wanted to be taken off all the things that were keeping her in bed.

Sunday morning they took her off oxygen and took her epidural and catheter out. She was so excited...and then reality set in. Once she was no longer attached to the epidural, her pain had to be managed through pills...and it's not the same. She was accustomed to a constant flow of medication.Everyone has been amazed be Savy's strength and great attitude throughout this process. It's not because she never had any low times. Savanna had times where she cried, but they were few and far between. She also had times where she felt angry and wondered if her decision to have surgery was worth it. The thing is...every time this happened, it was short lived. She was always able to dig down and find strength that I didn't know she had. She still has a long recovery ahead. It's hard to readjust your whole body alignment and it's hard to build back the physical strength after being in bed. Savanna has learned that lying in bed and sleeping is not the way to recover. When she is hurting, she gets up and walks laps in our house...not because I tell her too either. It's always HER decision.Some people think that being strong means NEVER having a weak moment...never shedding a tear...never feeling afraid. I disagree. Being strong doesn't mean being perfect. It's not about being a robot that feels and shows no emotion. When life gets you down or pain clouds your judgement, we all have the ability to find strength and work through those emotions...IF we choose to.

I have been exhausted. It wasn't fun sleeping in a plastic fold out bed for 5 nights and being woken up every two hours. I missed working out and eating normal food, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. What I sacrificed was tiny compared to what my daughter has endured. Savanna has taught me so much over the past week. The last day we were in the hospital, we were walking laps around the floor and she was getting tired and hurting. She turned and looked at me with those big blue eyes and said, "Mom. I'm proud of myself! I think that if I can do this...I can do anything for the rest of my life!" I smiled and said, "Yes you can Savanna! I'm proud of you too!Savanna found her strong. Have you found yours?

*Savanna helped me design a "Strong is the new skinny" tank that goes along with this! It says "Find your strong" inside of a heart and "strong is the new skinny" on the back. The significance of the heart is that when she was feeling stressed in the hospital the day before surgery, I drew a heart on her hand to remind her that she's loved. They are for sale now! To see it, click HERE!

..."WWMD?"...

2011-07-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

Many of us have seen the famous scene from "Kung Fu" where Master Kan tells the young boy, "Quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand." When the boy tries and fails, Master Kan then says, "When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave." I've often said that I believe to be a great coach, you must try to help people become better than you are. When the people I help train make improvements and become better than I am at something or thingS (plural)...I feel a sense of pride.

I have learned some things since becoming a trainer that I did not know before. Trainers and their clients are many times more alike than people think. A lot of us once struggled...or in some cases, continue to struggle...with many of the same issues. I can't tell you how many trainers I know that were once overweight or struggled with some sort of body issue. Because of these similarities, sometimes the people I train teach ME while I am teaching them. I had this happen to me today.

This morning, after the 6AM class was over, I was chillin and talking to 2 of the members of our gyms. The conversation had nothing at all to do with Crossfit or barbells. It was purely personal. We are like a family and so I think we feel more comfortable sharing things with each other that we may not even want to share with our "regular" friends. As we neared the end of our conversation, I was complaining about some things in my life that are making me unhappy at times. I talked about how somedays, I feel like I have a hundred pounds that I'm carrying on my shoulders. Brad said, "Then SQUAT it!" We laughed. A few minutes later, I talked about my adventures with the garbage truck yesterday...about how I heard the truck, jumped up, got dressed, and started literally running to drag a big overflowing garbage can and almost 15 bags, boxes, and LARGE loose items including a Disney Princess skateboard that rode down to the curb. I talked about how my husband always did that and it sucked doing it myself. I continued for a moment down that whiny path and he said, "Yeah, well you're strong so it's okay." The little lightbulb went off above my head and I stopped and thought, "Yep...he's right...it sucks but I am strong." He took his "pebble" and left.Later I came back to teach the 9AM class. Conversation was flowing. I was talking about my t shirts and some exciting things happening and we started discussing what some cool t shirts could be for our gym. Sayings went back and forth and then David said, "I told Jared we should have a shirt that says WWMD?" I looked at him like, "Huh???" He said, "You know...What Would Marsha Do?" I laughed and said, "Oh I bet he LOOOOOOVED that idea!" and we all laughed. As I stood in front of the bar to do some deadlifts, the lightbulb appeared again and I started to think about what David had said and what I have been doing. I realized that people really ARE watching me and I should behave accordingly. I thought about how I would want people to answer the question "WWMD?" Do I want to answer to be cry, or whine, or give up because I am being forced to do things that I'm not good at and that I don't know much about these days?

The answer is no...actually, it's not no...it's HELL NO! I want to answers to be more like this (please forgive the creepy third person writing):

WHAT WOULD MARSHA DO? Marsha would be strong. Marsha would hold back the tears and allow herself to flounder a bit as she learns. And if she cried, it would only be for a short time until she could pick herself up, dry her tears, and do something about what it is that is making her cry. WHAT WOULD MARSHA DO? Marsha would not whine or complain so much. Marsha would find solutions instead of excuses. She would remain positive in the midst of a negative situation. Marsha would DO instead of say. WHAT WOULD MARSHA DO? Marsha would keep putting one foot in front of the other. Marsha would use this time to become more educated and better at things she knows nothing about. She would stop being afraid of failure and get excited by the possibility of becoming so much more.David didn't know it, but he snatched a pebble from my hand today as well. I feel like I was the student today and the people I train were my teachers. What they taught me not only helped me, but it can help you as well. When things seem tough, don't complain about the fact that you are struggling...be grateful that you are strong enough to do it. When life gets you down or people disappoint you or you are standing in front of a barbell that you are not sure you can lift...ask yourself how you want people to answer the question WWMD, but take out MY name and insert your own. Realize that people are watching and noting you do goes unnoticed. You can make a difference without even knowing it.

...tHrOw yOuR eXcUsEs oUt tHe wiNdOw!!!...

2011-07-21T06:25:00.000-07:00

Excuses...everybody's got em...some are legit...some are lies..some are weak...and some are strong. Regardless, an excuse is just that...an excuse. It serves no purpose other than to make us feel better about something that we either did poorly or didn't get done at all.

I've heard a lot of excuses over the years since I started training people. I really do understand. Going to the gym, eating right, and getting in shape are hard things to do! And it's not just hard physically, it's hard many times for people to work in to their schedule. Everyone is busy with school or kids or work and so it becomes easy to grab fast food and skip working out. I know, because I'm guilty of this myself at times!

The other day I saw something that inspired me and made me feel a lil guilty. It was totally against "gym etiquette" but I even took my cell phone and took a picture, because I was so moved by what I saw. I had done some work sets of Back Squats, Presses, and Power Cleans earlier that morning in the gym then ran some errands and ate lunch. I decided that I wanted to do some running interval training later so I headed to the huge, local, "fancy" gym (Lifetime) and got set up on a treadmill. I started to walk and warm up when I noticed a man taking the chair off it's rails at the hand bike. It caught my attention so I began to watch and what happened next surprised me.This man had someone in a wheel chair waiting next to him. After he set the chair aside, he took the foot rests off the wheelchair, and had the man drive himself up to the hand bike (his wheelchair was now where the original chair had once been). After that, he took the arm rests off and very gently helped his friend grab the handle. Then he took an Ace bandage and wrapped it around the man's hand and the handle to keep his hands attached. This whole process was not easy or quick. When he was done, he stepped back, got on an elliptical behind him, and his friend began to slowly work the hand bike.

I'm not being an exaggerative drama queen when I say that watching this man took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes...both for the man in the wheelchair AND the man helping him. I felt guilty about every time I have skipped the gym because I was tired or too busy. I felt lame for the times I complained about how I was going to get my workout in with everything else I had to do! When he was done...about 15 minutes later...these two went through the same complicated steps to undo what they had done to set him up. When the man in the wheelchair turned to drive away, he had the biggest smile on his face which in turn made me smile.

He sped away...not to the elevator to leave, but to the weight area. I wanted to meet him and talk to him, so when I was done, I walked around and tried to find him, I never did. There was a part of me that regretted not getting off the treadmill to speak to him when I had the chance, but really that didn't matter. Watching those 2 men the other day, FOREVER changed the way I see the gym and took away ALL my excuses!I will NEVER take for granted the ability I have to walk into a gym with my own two legs without help. I will NEVER take for granted the ability to do anything I choose in the gym with no limitations. I will NEVER think of working my body as an obligation again. It is a privilege and a blessing. There's not ONE person that will read this that has a valid excuse for not working out. If you don't have money for a gym, go to the park, or get equipment and workout in your garage. If you are lucky enough to have a gym membership, get off your butt and GO. Make the time. Schedule your workouts just like you would any other appointment and do not cancel. From now on...whenever you start to make an excuse...think of this man. Take all your tired old excuses and throw them out the window..and do it today!

...sUpeR yOu...

2011-07-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't you like to be faster than a speeding bullet? Or more powerful than a locomotive? Or be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Sounds pretty good to me, but unfortunately I can't do any of these things because I am human...just a mortal. I walk on the ground. I can get hurt, and someday I will die. I don't posses any of the super human qualities that makes a super hero special. Some might think that makes me regular...nothin special...nothing super.

When I think about super heroes, the 3 that immediately come to my mind are: Superman, Spiderman, and Batman. Superman and Spiderman had special powers that made them super heroes and gave them the ability to do the amazing things they did, but Batman was different than the other super heroes. He couldn't fly or stop a bullet. Batman fought crime and saved people just like the other guys, but he did not use special, super human powers. He made use of what he had. He used his wealth and his intelligence...his love of technology, his detective skills, and his physical abilities to accomplish many of the same things his fellow super heroes did.

This brings me to the thought that we don't need to be able to fly or cling to walls or become invisible to be super. Not everyone has the same skill or talent as the next guy, so people...just like super heroes...are super in different ways. I would love to have natural athleticism and I envy people with great agility, but those are not gifts I was given. My gift is the ability to keep going and not give up. Sure, I think about it...and sometimes I may pause...but in the end...I get it done...and that has lead me to the successes that I have had.Everyone that WANTS to be...can be SUPER in their own way. The trick is embracing the talents and gifts that are individual to you and not wasting your time trying to be like someone else. Batman would not have been a successful superhero had he spent his time trying to fly like Superman. Be proud of who you are and your strengths. Find what it is that you are good at and embrace it. This doesn't mean you avoid the things you are not good at, but you should perfect the talents that are specific to you while improving upon things that do not come as easy.

Don't be afraid to be super because of what other people may think. Take a moment today to figure out what is super about you. I'd even love it, if you shared it with the rest of us in your comments. Then, be proud of the hard work that you do. Make a commitment to make the most out of what you have. Be strong and know that YOU can be super!

...i gEt bY wiTh a LittLe heLp fRoM mY fRiEnDs...

2011-07-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, "It is a sublime thing to suffer and be stronger." I get to see people suffer and fight to finish something that they don't HAVE to finish all the time at work. No one is holding them there against their will. It isn't their job and they certainly don't get paid to do such hard work. In fact, it's quite the opposite. THEY pay money for the opportunity to struggle and suffer and become stronger than they were the day before. It's always so interesting to both watch and participate in WODs (Workout Of the Day) at Crossfit gyms. There is a sense of individual competitiveness that is intermingled with teamwork and a desire to see everyone do their best. When one person succeeds in our gym, I think we all feel like we've won. It doesn't matter whether you are first or last, there is a respect that is earned when you've worked that hard to finish.This morning I watched as people that were already finished with a grueling workout, encouraged and coached their friends that were still working. I heard Dale counting out 10 seconds of rest for Seth and then cheering him on through the next few reps until he needed more rest. I watched Rick standing outside on the curb, drenched in sweat, exhausted himself...yelling for Lorie as she ran across the "finish line" and telling her what a good job she did. As I stood there waiting for the last person to finish, Brad came out of the gym and said to Rick, "I'm thinking about running out to meet Seth and help him finish this last run." I said, "He would do that for you." And Brad said, "I know.", turned to Rick, and said, "You wanna go?". Rick nodded and said "Yeah!" without hesitation, and off they went. Not one person drove away from that parking lot until EVERYONE was finished and they all praised and congratulated each other as they walked out the door.It is amazing how much faster you can go...how much more you can lift...and how much longer you can last when you have people there to remind you that you can do more than you think you can. Having this kind of support is like having a "safety net" under you. It gives you the confidence to do more, because you know there are people...friends...that care about you and are there to help you. I am reminded on days like today, that it doesn't matter how little money I make or how bad I hate waking up at 4:30 AM for work sometimes. What matters, is that I get to be surrounded by people like this every day...people that I truly consider my friends.

...iNdEpEnDeNcE dAy...

2011-07-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

Most people call today simply "The 4th of July" or "The 4th", but some people call today "Independence Day". Although I've heard this term many many times throughout my almost 42 yrs, I've never given it a second thought...until yesterday afternoon. The 4th of July has always been just that to me...the 4th of July...a time for barbeque/brisket, family, fireworks, and parades. Every year, this is what we did growing up. We got up early, got all decked out in red, white, and blue, drove downtown and parked, walked what seemed like a million miles to find a good "spot" in the shade, watched for the people handing out free hand held paper fans, ate lots of snacks, sweated profusely in the miserably hot TX summer temps, laughed, and enjoyed the parade. After we would go back to my parents' house for brisket, cole slaw, potatoes salad, and baked beans. Later we would go see fireworks. It was always a relaxed holiday with family.

I do try to take a moment and appreciate what this holiday is all about. I also think of all my friends that either have or are currently serving in the military. I'm so grateful for the sacrifices so many people have made...not just for themselves, but for all of us. We are so blessed to live in a free country where we can choose how we will live and worship. The independence that the founding fathers and the men and women that serve in the military have provided us with is something we should be aware of and thankful for every day, not just today.So having said all that...you may be wondering if I am just writing a post because it's the 4th of July and it would be the thing to do...or does this have anything to do with strength? As I said earlier, it struck a chord with me when I heard the term "Independence Day" yesterday. I was here at home alone...unhappy. I have had some problem with my eyelids where they are extremely itchy and I woke up to swollen, red eyelids that I wanted to tear off my face. I was uncomfortable and I looked like a weirdo. I hurt my back in the gym a month ago and even though I'm feeling better, it has really set my training back. I've had to lift much less and take A LOT of time off in order to heal. As a result, I feel weaker and slower when I do try to workout. To top it all off, some spammer got my Facebook info on Friday and linked me to a bogus event which resulted in ME getting kicked off Facebook! I tried pleading my case and forwarding the emails that I had received from Facebook saying SOMEONE ELSE had put me on this event, but it didn't matter. I was told that the decision was final. Basically, I was feeling defeated and cut off from the world. I felt like no matter how hard I try...I can't get ahead.

This past week, I had made a concerted effort to do some things that I have needed to do personally and business wise. I'm not what you would call organized or focused so this was hard for me and I was feeling proud of myself...but at that moment as I was lying on my bed with the tears streaming down my face, I wanted to give up. That's what I know. That's what I always use to do. If things got too hard or people hurt me too much, I ran away and took myself out of the game. I felt like for every step I was taking forward, I was getting shoved two steps backward.I got up and looked at a frame that I have on my desk. When I made it, I made two. One for me and one for my friend Wes. It has quotes from Steve Prefontaine and pictures from the 5K we ran together in 2007 before he moved away. I looked to the right and I saw a picture of me and my son, alongside a picture of me as a baby and resting up next to the frame was a laminated piece of paper that simple read "Stay Strong." The TV was on in the background and a commercial came on for an "Independence Day Sale". I heard the word independence and suddenly it meant something more to me.I thought back to how I used to be before I became strong and took control of my body and my life. I didn't feel free or independent back then. I distinctly remember feeling trapped. I felt like a prisoner in a body that wasn't mine. I had limited choices as to what I could wear and do. I wasn't treated equally. All that changed when I made a decision to change. With each change I made and with every 10 lbs I lost and with every bit of muscle that I made...I became more and more free until finally I was able to walk away as a whole new person...me, but better...stronger...and more independent.

I gained something more than just looking good in a bikini though. The year that I worked with my friend was when I truly started to figure out who I was and what I was capable of. He and I still laugh about how unathletic and awkward I was at times. I had to learn that it was okay to fail. I had to learn to laugh at myself and not take everything so seriously, but one thing that I think was the hardest for me to learn, was that when I was uncomfortable, or scared, or frustrated, or mad, or feeling like I couldn't do something...I couldn't run away. For one hour, I was stuck. I was there in the gym or in the parking lot or on a trail or in a warehouse and I HAD to do what I was told to do. THAT...was the life changer for me.I was allowing myself to slip back into those old patterns of thinking and feeling like I had no control...no right to choose. I turned my frame over and looked at the 5 pictures hidden on the back...pictures of my sister's wedding in Cozumel...when I weighed 200 lbs...when I was a prisoner to this very way of thinking. I made a decision. I got up...went to the gym...and began the first day towards working my way back to where I was. I haven't been able to do back squats in over a month because I refused to go down in weight and my back couldn't handle the pressure of what I normally use. After I was done doing work sets of squats, I did work sets of presses...again, much lighter than normal...but it felt good. Even though I wished I could do more, I finally felt in control again. I decided that instead of being off Facebook and feeling disconnected and missing the "Strong is the new skinny" page, I'd start a new page with a new/old name and move forward. Yes, there are connections that I can't get back...pictures that I've lost...and it will take a lot of time to rebuild my page and friends, but at least I'm back moving forward.

On this "Independence Day", I want everyone to take a moment and be thankful for the freedom that we have and then I want you to find something in your life that is holding you back. Find it and get rid of it. It may be a person, or extra weight, or anger, or a fear, or an attitude. Whatever it is, find it and change it. Give yourself the opportunity to truly be free. Start today. Make today a day that every year holds special meaning for you. Make today your own personal "Independence Day".

P.S. YES...that REALLY is ME in the blue dress on the beach in Cozumel at my lil sister's wedding...and YES...I know it's a horrible dress. ;)

...jUsT sAy "NO!" tO YOUR kRyPtoNiTe...

2011-07-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

Even the strongest men (and women) have weaknesses. It can be a person or a tangible object or even a feeling. For Sampson, it was Delila and for Superman it was kryptonite. We've all seen it or experienced it. We can be going along...strong and steady...and then we are thrown off course by something that we can't seem to resist or conquer.

I have a few of these...probably one in each category. I had a friend that was so much fun to be with. I loved her and laughed more with her than I probably ever have. I never had many girlfriends so she made me feel accepted and "normal". There was just one thing. She wasn't good for me. I felt myself sliding backwards...becoming more childlike...and veering off the path from my goals. It became more important to hang by the pool and go out and have fun than it was to workout or be as responsible as I knew I should be. We are no longer friends. There's a part of me that still loves and misses her, but a part of me that has felt relieved since the day she abandoned our friendship because I no longer have to listen to the angel on one shoulder fight with the devil on the other. The demise of our friendship eliminated the inner struggle.I faced yet another this morning and I'm proud to say that for this moment...I've won the battle. I love sugar. Sugar tastes so good to me. Sugar makes me happy. If it's sweet, chances are I'll like it! I woke up this morning CRAVING donuts. I hopped up excited to wake my kids up and take them for a treat because we don't eat donuts very often. I convinced myself that it was going to be for THEM...but I know deep down...it was for ME. I wanted that quick fix...that good feeling. The problem is that then I would feel guilty all day and ask myself WHY endlessly. Sugar is probably my biggest kryptonite when it comes to my fitness. Sugar cookies arrive and I go from being strong to being weak...a person that makes excuses and comforts myself with rationalizations. I don't always conquer this, but today...now...I'm eating eggs and bacon instead and the feeling of power is so much better than the few moments of enjoyment as I eat a donut.Most of the time, I can treat the kryptonite in my life like a drug. I can avoid it. I don't keep ice cream in my house because I will eat it and I can avoid the people that bring me down. Unfortunately, there is one thing that I can't avoid or leave at the store...me. I can try and run from myself and my fears, but the moment I turn around, the doubt and insecurity is still right there. So if I can't out run it, what can I do?I'm no where near perfect. I don't always make the best choice. I eat sugar more than I should, and sometimes I allow myself to become consumed with self doubt and fear...BUT I wake up every day and I try to do better than the day before. Everyone has their own personal weaknesses and their own way of dealing with them. I'm no expert, but here are the things I do to try and be better today than I was yesterday.I try to be proactive. Rather than avoid people that bring me down, I'm learning to surround myself with people that love me and inspire me and make me want to be better. When I have more people like this in my life, I have less room for the people that weaken me and it's also more glaringly obvious that they are not good for me.

I try to think ahead and have an alternative when it comes to food. If I have healthy snacks and fruit available at my house, it makes it a little easier to not go outside of my house to buy and eat a candy bar. I try to make it so that if I want sweets, I have to make a concerted effort to leave and get them. Today, I had eggs and bacon here at home, but I would've had to drive to get donuts. THAT is what saved me.As for the way I think and feel...it's 3 fold. When I avoid bad influences (1) and resist bad food (2), I feel a sense of power and pride. The last part (3) is through positive words and pictures. I have a huge collection of quotes and inspirational pictures that I look at everyday. I have pictures all over my room of happy times...pictures of me with people I love...pictures that remind me of good things. I also have a whole section of my mirror in my bathroom that I have covered in quotes that I see and read EVERY day. I swear I would have post it notes covering everything in my room if I could.What works for me may not work for you, but the concept is the same. Instead of giving up or accepting less than you know you should...instead of focusing on the negativity of it...DO SOMETHING. Everyone that reads this has their own personal weaknesses and each of us has to learn how to deal with that in the way that is most effective for ourselves. I'll never be able to completely eliminate the people and things that are my kryptonite. I can't control how others see me or treat me or try and influence me. I can't eliminate sugar from the planet, and I'll never be free of doubt. It will never be easy, but attempting to be great never is. I have to make a choice every day...every hour...sometimes every few minutes...to say "NO!" to the things that keep me from being great. Because the one thing I can control...is me...and you...can control you.

yiN aNd yAnG...

2011-06-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we don't know how strong we truly are until we are feeling weak. Sometimes we don't know how many people are around us until we feel alone. Sometimes we are not proud of our accomplishments until we feel like a failure. There's yin and yang.There was a time when I became very strong physically. I was 5 lbs shy of being able to dead lift double my body weight. My muscles were obvious and more defined. Strangers often asked me what competition I was training for in stores. Anyone that saw me could see with their eyes that I was strong and I was proud of that. It was a big part of my identity.

Life takes twists and turn that we don't always like and rarely expect. I'm no exception. If you asked me back then if I'd be facing what I am now in my life, I would've said "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Lately, I've struggled. I've had personal issues that have kept me out of the gym...sometimes due to time and sometimes due to my mental state. Then, I hurt my back several weeks ago. I have gotten better and then re agitated it a couple of times since. I've gone from working out 5 to 6 times a week to doing about 5 workouts over the course of 3 weeks. The effects on both my mental state and my physical state are very apparent...just as apparent as my physical strength used to be.

I was a social work major when I dropped out of college. I knew I wouldn't make much money but I wanted to do something in my life where I could help people. I wanted to protect people that needed protecting and empower people that had been held down. I never wanted a job that didn't mean anything or where money was the sole purpose. I've always felt that I have gone through the trials that I have in my childhood and adult life so that I can have empathy and compassion and the drive to make a difference.I felt like I found that through my job as a trainer and then as a blogger and partner in the "Strong is the new skinny" Facebook page. I've put myself out there in ways that are not always comfortable and many times have felt very "naked" and vulnerable...not because I HAD to...because I WANTED to. I've received countless emails telling me how I've inspired people to be more healthy and fit and happy with themselves. Many women have generously shared their personal stories with me. Most of the feedback I receive is positive, but every now and then...it's not. I don't expect that everyone will like me or agree with me and I actually get a giggle every now and then when people poke fun at me.

After receiving many questions and requests from people about the fit of the tanks I sell, I decided to put some pictures up of the new tops I received in the mail yesterday and try my best to describe the fit. I want people to be happy with what they order and be able to choose the correct size. So, I put up the pics. They were not artistic or of me in a cutesy pose. They were of the front of my chest to see how the tanks fit across the chest and middle and explain the differences. The ironic part is that I had a few full body shots, but I was surprised to see that my chest looked very thin in a few and was afraid that I would be put down for being "too skinny" or sending the wrong message so I chose the pictures that only depicted the top. Try as I might, I can't take a picture of me wearing a tank without my boobs being a part of the picture and so my boobs are prevalent in these pictures. At first the comments were positive and then came the negative.I received several comments about fake boobs and the message I'm sending. I was asked why I can't be happy with the body I was given and called names like ridiculous. The interesting part is that those things don't bother me near as much as someone questioning the integrity of what I am trying to do. I can't quote exactly what she said because after tearing me apart...and me responding respectfully...she deleted all her comments. I don't care to talk about her or anyone else that had a problem but I do want to say this...

My desire is not to advertise me or get more Facebook friends. It's not to sell shirts or promote fake boobs. I'm not trying to victimize women or make anyone feel bad about themselves. I haven't had professional photo shoots and splashed my pic all over the page for a reason. I wanted it to be about ALL women...of every race...from every country...of all sizes...and walks of life. I love seeing all the pictures that come in of women wearing the tanks and tees. I want women to feel good about themselves. I want women to know they can and should work hard to be the best they can be. I want women to know that you can keep up with the boys in the gym and still look like a girl. I want women to know that being strong and muscular is not masculine. It can be beautiful and we should be proud. I just want people to feel good about themselves and the work they do whether they are sporty or girly...whether they've accomplished their goals or have just started the journey...big boobs or flat chest...whatever.It wasn't fun to read those things but I accept it because I CHOSE to put myself out there and I'm an easy target. As much as I don't like to hear negative things, I am glad those things were said because I learned something very valuable today. I have been feeling bad because I don't look as strong as I once did and I'm carrying a few extra pounds. I have felt very alone and even had moments where I threw some serious pity parties for myself. So when I saw these comments and then the comments of other men and women defending me, I realized that as fragile as I have felt on the inside...I am unbreakable. As weak as I have felt on the outside...I have sturdy shoulders that can hold the weight of the world. And as lonely as I have felt at times, I am not alone. For every person that doesn't like me or agree with me...there are twenty ready to fight for me and defend me. I am not fragile or weak or alone. I am strong and I will be okay, because I can't have my yang without my yin.

t-sHiRt dAy!!!

2011-06-21T09:22:00.000-07:00

Today is international t-shirt day, so JUST FOR TODAY (June 21) there is FREE SHIPPING with NO MINIMUM PURCHASE !!! So if you don't have one of the official "Strong is the new skinny" tanks or tees...GET ONE TODAY! Click HERE to visit the store and use the code T-DAY2011 to get your FREE shipping today!Also, if you haven't "liked" us on Facebook, visit our page to read great blogs by us AND by many of our "SINS" friends, see encouraging pics, get great tips, and be a part of an amazing community of strong people!!! You can click on pics there to see many photos of beautiful, strong women showing off their tanks and hard work as well!

...rEcOveRiNg fRoM pArALySiS..

2011-06-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

I remember the day...a long time ago...that my trainer at the time (now friend and coworker/boss) tried to teach me an exercise...a lift...the Push Jerk. It's a complicated...advanced movement...one that can be difficult to teach and learn. Luckily I have since been to an Crossfit Olympic Lifting certification where I was taught by great coaches such as Mike Burgener, Shane Hamman, Dutch Lowy, and Sage Burgener (just to name a few). There I learned a much simpler approach to teaching this movement that has made it much easier to teach other people. Unfortunately, at the time, it was much more complicated. I stood there...feeling extreme pressure. I knew people working out around me were watching...and I had been given the instructions...over and over and over. I had failed...many times...and I was afraid. There are so many movements involved that my mind was racing as I repeated the instructions to myself that I had been given at lightning speed over and over...dip...drive up...open the hips...small jump...not too big...be aggressive...pull yourself under the bar...land in a partial squat with a full extension of the arms...then stand. I just stood there...mind racing...staring at myself in the mirror...no words...no movement. It seemed like forever and I knew I needed to go...to try again...to move. Suddenly, I almost felt as though I had stepped outside myself. I had all these questions running through my mind... "Why am I just standing here?" "Why can't I move?" "What if I fail?" "What if I forget?" I could see my trainer's face reflected in the mirror...puzzled look...dead silence. He said to me "What are you waiting on?" I couldn't answer. I could only stand there frozen. Eventually I did try...again...only to fail...again. I am happy to report that I have long since mastered the Push Jerk and successfully taught it to many people.As I sat down to journal my training progress for the day...frustrated...I replayed those events in my mind. I tried to make sense of what had happened. I have never been frozen like that before. It literally felt like I was paralyzed...and in retrospect...I have come to realize that I WAS...paralyzed. I was thinking so hard and I was so scared...that I suffered from mental paralysis or what OLY lifting coach Mike Burgener calls "paralysis by analysis". I also realized that this was not the first time that this had happened...it was just the first time I had become aware of it.

I never finished it, but years ago...I started reading the book, "A Return To Love" by Marianne Williamson. I remember coming across a passage that I wrote down and it reminds me of this experience and helped give me some better understanding of why this had happened to me. This is what it said...

"A lot of us know we have what it takes-the looks, the education, the talent, the credentials. But in certain areas, we're paralyzed. We're not stopped by something on the outside, but by something on the inside. Our oppression is internal. The government isn't holding us back, or hunger or poverty. We're not afraid we'll get sent to Siberia. We're just afraid, period. Our fear is free floating. We're afraid this isn't the right relationship or we're afraid it is. We're afraid they won't like us, or we're afraid they will. We're afraid of failure or we're afraid of success. We're afraid of dying young or we're afraid of growing old. We're more afraid of life than we are of death."

I think I've been a bit paralyzed myself lately. I think and think and think about all the things I want and NEED to do, and then I become frozen and the millions of instructions and questions enter my mind. I want to blame my lack of progress on outside forces...people...upset in my day to day life...injuries...etc, but the truth is...it's not the outside that is the problem. It's me doing it to myself...me being afraid.

I don't know. Maybe other people don't do this to themselves like I do, but in the case that some of you do, I want to bring it to your attention and tell you that you can recover. You can stop being paralyzed and start moving forward again. Sometimes there will be setbacks...that's part of progressing...but if you want to be better at Cleans or Snatches...or increase the amount you Squat or Deadlift...or improve your diet and get stronger and leaner...or run faster...you have to stop being afraid and "what if"ing yourself to death and be willing to try again and again. You can't stop when you fail and you can't be afraid or worry about what the people watching may think.

There are 5 things you can do to help you along the way to recovery.

1. Find people that are good at those things and trust them to teach you. You would not hire Michael Phelps to help you improve your Back Squat. Although he is a respected athlete and has probably seen or even done squats, that is not where his expertise lies. Hire a trainer or coach that can teach you and help you improve in a specific way that he or she is good at. Read books or articles online. Become educated in what it is you are looking to accomplish.

2. Practice...over and over and over until you begin to see improvement. Even the greatest athletes, have to practice and work to be THEIR personal best and many athletes that are considered great have not always been and have failed or been told they would never do the things they did. Michael Jordan is a perfect example.

3. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and do things differently. Everyone LIKES to do what they are good at. I'd rather deadlift than push heavy weight over my head ANY day, because that's where I struggle. I'd rather run than do a complicated movement that requires agility. The problem is, that if we only do what comes easy, we can't improve our weaknesses. It's that simple. You HAVE to do things that are hard if you want to be better.

4. Be consistent and have a plan. You cannot get stronger if you lift once or twice a week ever so often and you can't be prepared for a marathon if you only run whenever you feel like it and go as far as you want. You have to methodically work towards what it is you want to accomplish. You have to KNOW what you are going to do when you step into the gym and you have to stick to the plan on the days that you don't feel like it.

5. Set real, attainable goals with real time limits and hold yourself accountable. I once asked a client what her goals were. She said, "To get in better shape." I said "What do you mean?" She continued to give generic answers until I told her this. "You are hiring me to be your guide. To get you from point A to point B. I know where we are at. We are AT point A, but if I don't know specifically where point B is, I can't get you there!" You have to have a SPECIFIC goal. It can't be to simply "be stronger". Know what that means, whether it means increasing your deadlift to twice your body weight or running a half marathon. Then you MUST give yourself a time limit that is reasonable and make no excuses. You can't push back the date or lie about progress. You hold yourself accountable to your coach or through a blog...whatever...but don't take the easy way out.

Sometimes, progress is slow. But progress is just that...PROGRESS. If you've been paralyzed. If you've been holding yourself back or giving yourself excuses or lying to yourself...start today. You may not be able to jump up, but at least wiggle your toes! You can begin by taking small steps because as long as you can at least "wiggle your toes"...you're no longer paralyzed.

...bUiLdiNg bLoCkS...

2011-05-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

When my first child was born, my husband and I had been married for almost 5 years and we were thrilled to have her. I wanted to be the perfect Mom...which now makes me laugh because "she" (the PERFECT Mom) doesn't exist...it's like wanting to be a mermaid...it's a cute thought but NOT gonna happen! Anyways, she was our only child for 3 years. I doted on her. Everyday, I read to her and dressed her to perfection with perfectly matching bows on her head. I would sit and play with her and do puzzles in her room. One day when my daughter was about 2, my sister gave me a big tin of wooden building blocks that one of the kids she was a nanny for had outgrown. Savy LOVED them! Her favorite thing to do was for her and I to carefully build as tall a building as we could and then she would crash it down to nothing and we would laugh.When Savy turned 3 she started attending preschool. She was amazingly above average in intelligence but a little immature socially so it was really good for her. One day, I went to pick her up and her teacher stopped me. The conversation went a little something like this:

TEACHER: (stern look on her face) Mrs. Christensen...we are having a problem during freeplay time with Savanna.

ME: (stressed but trying to look calm and use my sweet Mommy voice) You are? I'm sorry. What is going on?

TEACHER: Savanna is making the other children cry! (looking at me like I'm training her to be a ninja assassin at home for fun)

ME: (getting really worried and stressed as to what is coming next) What is she doing?!?

TEACHER: (excited to tell me) We play with wooden blocks...

ME: (interrupting) Oh! Savy LOVES blocks! We...

TEACHER: (cutting me off) Yes...I'm aware! Every time the children build something, she runs over and knocks it down, claps, and laughs!!! I have told her repeatedly that this is UNACCEPTABLE behavior and she continues to do it day after day!

I explained that I had unknowingly taught her that behavior and in turn went home and taught my daughter that it was okay to do that at home, but when we play with friends...it's better to help them build things rather than always tearing them down.You are probably wondering what on earth this lovely little story has to so with being strong. Well, I immediately thought of this story today when I innocently posted a beach pic of myself (the one at the top) with my son a couple of years ago on the "Strong is the new skinny" FB page asking what people like to do that works their body (like me digging a hole in the pic with my son) but is not a traditional exercise movement. I was about 10 lbs thinner, very tan, and very lean. I received a comment that said...(and I quote)... "You look sick, skinny, unhealthy and freaky! Take a brek."

You'd think this would anger me or hurt my feelings. It did not. Okay, well...I considered leaving a comment that simply said, " (insert person's name), BITE ME!" for a minute, but I controlled the urge. What I DID think was how sad it is that WE AS WOMEN tend to tear each other down. We want to blame men...and there are some jerks out there...for the fact that we feel the need to be beautiful and wear the right clothes and have the perfect hair and body, but it's really women that are the problem!We are all guilty at some time. We've all done it...myself included. We talk behind people's backs or pick apart what they are wearing...the skirt is too long...she shouldn't have cut her hair like that...she's gained weight...she's lost too much weight. I even see it with my children. It is such an epidemic. We as women are tearing each other down, just like Savanna tore down every building made of blocks! Sometimes, it's innocent. We say things and laugh like it's just a game, but don't stop to think about what it is that we are doing or how it may make the other person feel.One of my goals with "Strong is the new skinny" is to build an army of men and women that can inspire each other and build each other up. Just like it was inappropriate for Savy to knock the other kids' blocks down, it's wrong for us to knock other people down or judge them harshly. It's okay to have differing opinions. It's not okay to be mean.

My challenge to anyone that reads this, is this: Think before you speak or type. Change the way you look at other people. Stop being B**CHY and judgmental and look for the good. You don't have to like what everyone else wears or how they look or how they train or what they think. Be STRONG enough and confident enough in yourself to not make comparisons out of insecurity and teach your daughters to do the same. Let's all work to build each other up...one proverbial block at a time...and make something amazing! THAT is how you make the world a better, stronger place.

...eVeRyBoDy nEEdS a fRiEnD...

2011-05-20T09:39:00.001-07:00

I wrote this piece below 4 years ago when my great friend/trainer, Wes, was about to move away. He had encouraged me to start blogging, and I did. It was a hard time for me. I wasn't sure I'd ever stop missing him every day like I did, but as they say "Time heals all wounds". We've both grown and changed over the years since then, but one thing remains constant...our friendship. Wes and I were able to have lunch together yesterday and it was just as great as I knew it would be...a real bright spot in my week. We haven't done so good over the past year keeping in touch, but as soon as I see him...it's as if no time has passed. As I drove away from our 3 hour lunch at our FAVE Mexican food restaurant, I remembered this old blog post that I wrote all those years ago. I wanted to repost it and share it here because Wes is responsible for teaching me what I know. Wes taught me how to be STRONG. He still gives me advice, and I will forever consider him my friend. Distance can't change that.

"Everybody needs a friend"

"My heart is pounding. My legs are tired. My foot hurts. Sweat is dripping off my forehead. I gasp for air to give my lungs what they are begging...screaming for. People are cheering...encouraging me to finish my task. The sense of joy...accomplishment...relief that I feel as I cross the finish line is all encompassing. This was not my first race. This was not my fastest race. I will not get an award or a trophy. My name will not appear on a list, but I am proud. This was the best race I've run...ever.

I've always been kind of a loner. I'm not sure that it was on purpose or really always my choice...but that's always the way it has turned out. I've always comforted myself with rationalizations and lies. I tell myself that I don't care...that I don't NEED friends...that I am my own person, but deep down I know it's not true.

I've met very few people in my life that I've felt truly comfortable with. I am a different...unique person. It seems like I see everything in a different way than everyone else. I fight it and I embrace it. I love it and I hate it. I have people that come and go...from time to time...but for the most part I do most things alone. I shop alone. I eat lunch at restaurants alone almost everyday. I've even gone to movies alone.

A year ago, I met an unlikely friend. I decided to hire a personal trainer at my gym. Maybe I was just bored, because I didn't really think I needed him. I didn't really expect to continue with him when my sessions expired. After all, I knew I could do it myself...alone...like I always do. I was wrong.

He actually did make a huge difference in my overall level of fitness and my athletic ability...if you can call it that. However, his friendship and the difference it has made in my life has been the biggest surprise to me...a bonus...icing on the cake. I've learned something about friends in one year that I hadn't learned in the previous 37.

I do need a friend...a confidante...a sounding board. I do need a friend to laugh with and cry with...to talk with and be quiet with. I need someone to make me want to be better; to push me, and someone that I can encourage and challenge as well. I think my friend and I leave each other better than we were each and every time we meet. He has taught me to submit to things that can make me better and to fight the things that hold me back. He has made me stronger both physically and mentally.

People all fall into roles. We come to expect certain things from certain people. We don't usually step outside of those roles because it feels unnatural...like sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. Our roles have always been clear. We have always been friendly, but he has always been my teacher...my coach. I have always been his student. He is always in control. I do what he says. I never expected to be able to give anything back, but respect. Once again, I was wrong.

We started running together. I've run for years. It is a great release for me. I love being in control of my body...continuing when my body begs me to stop...going faster when I don't think I can take another step. My friend has always played sports or lifted weights. He did not run...at least not very far...or for very long. For an hour everyday, our roles reversed. I became the teacher and he became my student. Through this experience, we learned to trust each other in a different way. We had easy days and hard days, but everyday we ran together was a good day. We had a goal; a 5K. We trained and we ran. He was inexperienced and I was hurt, but neither of us wanted to let the other down, because we are friends, and neither of us could bear the thought of disappointing the other.

It wasn't an easy race. He was winded and tired. My foot throbbed with pain. There was a time that it seemed like we would never see the finish line, but as we rounded the corner and could see the end...the end that we had been anticipating all these weeks...we knew what we had to do. He said, "Let's go!" and we ran as fast as we could, passing other runners to cross the finish line. We did it...together. I ran slower during the race to stay with him and he stopped short of the finish line so we could cross together. It was an amazing, life changing experience...one that will always stay with me...and I hope him too. In different ways, we learned to trust...to be more honest, both with each other and ourselves. I think we both learned that sometimes the people that seem to be the most different are the most alike. We learned that EVERYBODY needs help sometimes and that EVERYBODY needs a person; a friend that is willing to go the distance...to sacrifice their own glory...to do what it takes to cross the finish line together. EVERYBODY needs a friend...even me."

.."SiN"eR...

2011-05-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

Oscar Wilde said, "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." I think about this quote quite often. I like to be crazy and I don't always have a "filter". I make mistakes and not everyone thinks that the things I do are appropriate all the time. But when it comes down to it...in the depth of my soul...I'm a good person. I was raised in a home that was far from perfect with parents from less than perfect upbringings, but I was taught right from wrong. We went to church every Sunday. We blessed every meal before we ate and we were reminded daily to make good choices.I've had some major changes and upheaval going on in my life. I'm blessed to have a small support group that includes my sisters that have encouraged me and loved me unconditionally, but unfortunately, I've made some life decisions that many people in my life and even some that are merely spectators don't agree with. Some people would call these changes bad. Some people think that I have made the wrong choices for the wrong reasons. At times, it has been very hard to keep going and many areas of my life have suffered as a consequence...my diet...my training...my attitude...and my self image. There have been low, lonely moments when I have questioned who I am and what kind of soul I really have. I've wondered if what the people that don't understand me think is true. Have I gone from a saint to a sinner? And if I'm a sinner, what kind of future do I have? At times, I have hardly been able to move forward...times when the best I could do was to just hold on.Early on, when My friend Adam and I started the Facebook page "Strong is the new skinny" and I started selling the tees, our friends shortened the name and began calling it "SINS". Some people were not happy about that. I think it may have even offended a few, because we are taught to think of sins as bad and sinners as people we should not be. I think however, that "SINS" is a perfect acronym for this movement and this is why.None of us are born perfect and none of us will die perfect. We all have weaknesses and we all commit sins. We all need help staying on the right path. That's why many people go to church. Church is a place where we can seek guidance and find others, like us, that are trying to become better than they were the day before...others that are striving to become saints so to speak. It is comforting to know that you are not alone...that there are others struggling as well. One of my favorite quotes on this subject is by Abigail Van Buren, better known as "Dear Abby". She said, "A church is a hospital for sinners not a museum for saints."I say this at the risk of sounding blasphemous and in no way do I mean to, but I think this is very similar to what we do in the gym. We all have physical weaknesses...things that we struggle with in our quest to become better, stronger individuals. We go to the gym and we look to the people that surround us there for advice and comfort. We seek wisdom and look for ways to improve and correct the mistakes of the past, because we know that if we work hard and suffer when we need to...we will have a better future.Sin represents a mistake...a weakness to temptation to me. I won't get into my spiritual weaknesses here, but instead I will stick to the weaknesses I face in and out of the gym in my quest to become stronger both mentally and physically. Self doubt and the fear of failure are probably the 2 things that hold me back the most. I can't squat or press as much as I'd like and I wish I were a faster runner. It would also be really helpful if I were more flexible and coordinated, but in the end...those are not the things that keep me from where I want to go and what I want to be. It's what's in my head that does and that is what I'm struggling to change. Just like I suffer with the pain of disappointing people that love me, I suffer with the pain I feel every day in the gym. I have 2 choices. I can quit...give up...and stay where I'm at, or I can fight...face the pain and use it to make me stronger.

Just as the sinner looks to his spiritual advisor for guidance and strength...the "SIN"er looks to like minded individuals that can help inspire and guide him/her in the right direction. The sinner has tools...things like sermons, scriptures, and prayer, and the "SIN"er has "tools" as well...a barbell, a pool, a pull up bar, a bike, an open road to run down, kettle bells, a stopwatch, and people cheering him/her on to the finish line.

So I guess in the end I will say this, I'm not proud of the spiritual sins I've committed in the past...but I'm proud to be part of the "SINS" movement. I don't find that acronym to be offensive or negative in the least. I feel blessed to be part of a group of people striving to become stronger every day...people that are willing to literally shed blood, sweat, and tears to do so. I believe Oscar Wilde was right. I do believe that "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." I don't know what my future holds, but I know it will be better if I am strong enough to withstand the journey it takes to get me there.

...sTroNgEr...

2011-05-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

"Work it harder! Make it better! Do it faster! Makes us STRONGER!"

...bOOtY CaLL...

2011-05-03T06:19:00.001-07:00

“Learn how to squat. It works more muscles than any other exercise. It’s harder. It’s a longer range of motion and it will make more difference in your appearance over a shorter period of time than any single thing you can do. You have to learn how to squat correctly, and correctly is below parallel.” ~Mark Rippetoe

I've said it many times before..."I want a BIG, round butt!" and I do. I want my butt to be as big as possible. It scares and shocks many people when I say this but I don't care. I'm not gettin any younger and I gotta fight to keep my booty up where it should be. I think it's funny how many guys are surprised that I'm always on a quest for a bigger butt. I guess it's because a lot of women want to be smaller...skinnier. They don't want to have to struggle to buy jeans or get off the treadmill and squat some weight. What's even funnier, is that the same guys that seem shocked always seem to "notice" my nice round backside.As it is with many things in fitness, genetics does play a role. If you were born without much "junk in the trunk"...doing squats will not miraculously give you a big butt. And if you were blessed with a lil too much "junk", you may think "Why would I want to work an area that I wish were smaller?!?!" I will say this...whether your butt is big or small...whether you want to make it bigger or just firm it up...working your glutes WILL make ANY butt look better. I was blessed to inherit my Dad's round butt. Still...if I want it to look great...I HAVE to work it. I WILL say this...as much of an addiction as I have to buying jeans, at times it can be a challenge when you are a fit girl with a booty. If jeans do not have "stretch" in them, I cannot fit into them. I have a few brands that tend to fit me well and I stick with those.

People notice mine from time to time and ask me, "What do I do to get a great butt?" Guess what? It's not a secret or complicated answer! Sure there are a million exercises for glutes and you can buy a hundred magazines that will tell you new, improved, sometimes complicated ways to "get" a great butt...but when it comes down to it...it's all about basic, simple movements. So when I'm asked...I always say, "Do squats and lunges! And then...do some deadlifts and some more squats!"

I personally do A LOT of squatting and lunging in my quest for a great butt. I've been slackin a little lately and I can tell. MY butt still looks good, but it definitely seems a little smaller to me. The good news, is I know what to do to fix it and so I go to the gym and I SQUAT! Try it..you'll be surprised with the results.

Wanna show your love for great glutes??? Click HERE and get a tank and show everyone that "STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY"!

...aB-tAsTiC...

2011-04-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

This is a super weird post for me. Usually I have an experience that leads me to write. Its all based on feelings. I sit and the words come to me as if it is a conversation playing out in my head. I'm not one for boring "informational" posts, but I've been a bit obsessed with abs today because my own are extremely sore so I thought today would be a great day to write about abs and how I got mine. If I had to pick ONE question that I get asked as a trainer more than any other question, it would hands down be "How do I get great abs?"Now...having said THAT...I will say THIS:

As you can see from my pics from varying times, I am no ab expert and I too definitely have room for improvement (cough...ummm...errrr...diet...cough). Still, I can share what I have found beneficial when it comes to abs and encourage you to comment with any other tips you have as well.I think so many of us focus all our time and energy on what happens in the gym. All we can think of is doing thousands of crunches or situps, but what we forget is that what happens outside the gym is just as or maybe even MORE important. Let me just say that first and foremost, if you want a "six pack", you will NOT get it without paying attention to your diet!!! You can eat like crap and exercise a ton and not be overweight, but you will not have the definition in your abs unless you are LEAN. It doesn't matter how strong your abs are or how many situps you can do if they are hidden under a layer of fat. I wish I had a magic solution for this, but there's not one. DIET is key if you want a "six pack", which is part of the reason I only have a four pack! LOL!Range of motion is also very important. In other words...crunches DON'T work. Neither do those silly machines at gyms where you hold on and basically do machine assisted crunches. Seriously think about it. Most of the people that you see doing jillions of crunches or on those machines...don't have abs that you are jealous of. I have found that when you do things with a full range of motion, it is always more effective. So if you want to do crunches on the floor or on a ball, don't. Do a full situp. Don't crank on your neck like they taught you in elementary school or grab your legs and pull up. Use your abs and sit up. Go from shoulders completely touching the floor to chest touching you knees. There's lots of variations. You can do them with your feet "anchored" which will introduce more hips but allows you to do them faster. You can do them unanchored with your feet in the normal position or vary it and put the soles of your feet together. That's what I call "butterfly situps". You can also use an ABMAT which will give a small amount of hyperextension.

There are also other more advanced movements. The two I like are situps on the GHD (Glute Ham Developer) and KTEs (Knees To Elbows). If you click on the names of the exercises in white, it will take you to a video that describes the movements in detail. These are advanced and should not be overdone in the beginning whether you are a seasoned athlete or a beginner...especially the GHD situps! The movements are done by 1000s of Crossfitters worldwide and are safe if done correctly and you work up in reps over time. You can do damage to the muscles if these are overdone to quickly. Again, full range of motion is key.

When doing KTEs, not only are you lifting the knees, but the hips should rise as well.

The last tip...probably the one that is always the most foreign to people is the importance of MIDLINE STABILIZATION. Coach Glassman explains it much better than I can, so please watch the video. So many times, people want to focus JUST on their stomach and forget that many other movements engage those muscles and can be even more effective in building strength and getting the definition we are all seeking. It's not common to think of Olympic lifts, or Powerlifting, or Overhead Squats when we think of abs but they ALL require midline stabilization and will build a very strong core and amazing abs. When asked about abs, Coach Glassman says this,

"People ask me, 'what do I do for abs? I tell them, stabilize the mid-line like a motherf***er, that's what you do."

BEFORE............

..............AFTER

There's many other exercises that can be discussed, but these are the exercises that I personally find to be the most effective. The most important thing to remember, is that everyone is unique. There are no two of us alike. Your abs will not look exactly like mine and mine will not look exactly like someone else's. We all have to work with what we were given. That does not mean that you can use excuses like "I've had kids." There are many women that have had multiple children and still have great abs. So what if you have stretch marks...you can still have great abs. Up close, I have them. I don't like them, but it doesn't stop me from showing off my hard work and I'm positive that no one has ever walked away from me on the beach and said, "Ewww! Did you see her old faded stretch marks!?!?!?"

Age is not an excuse either. Stop by the "Strong is the new skinny" Facebook page and you will see SEVERAL women (myself included) over 40 that have abs a 20 yr old would want! There are lots of pics that were put up today. No two abs were alike. There were varying ages, colors, sizes, shapes etc. The only thing that was similar was that they were all worked hard for and are all beautiful.

Don't make excuses or say I can't! BE STRONG, make a goal, work hard, and YOU can have great abs too!!!

...tHaNkS bUddHa...

2011-04-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it's hard to know what to write. It seems that if I can't come up with something great...something thought provoking or brilliant...I should just not write anything at all. Unfortunately, if that were the case...I'd probably never get anything written. I have nothing to rant about (ie: boobs), no stories of triumph, or inspirational videos today. I seem to be drawing a blank. So why am I hell bent on writing???

I grabbed my laptop and sat down with my eggs and bacon on my bed...thinking about what I could possibly write. My back is sore from yesterday's workout and my legs are hurting. I was just about to give up hope and wait for inspiration to come another day, when I looked around my bedroom and thought about how much I love to sit right where I am...on my bed...with my cat driving me crazy rubbing her head on my sore leg. I sat still for a minute to take it in. It occurred to me that even though things aren't exactly as I would like them to be in my life right now...I still want to be thankful. I don't want to be thankful just in concept either. I want to be consciously thankful.

There's a quote from Buddha that says,

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn alot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us be thankful."

So, being humbled by those words, I can write this today... I am sore, but I am satisfied. I am satisfied because I know that I am working hard to be in great physical shape...to strengthen my body and mind. I am hurting, but I am hopeful...and with that hope comes happiness...happiness because I have overcome my perceived limitations and the fear that accompanies them and hope because I never want to lose the desire for more...hope that I will continue to knock down the walls that keep me from reaching my true potential...hope that there is more for me.

I need to remember to give thanks for the simplest of blessings...a strong body...a loving family...a comfortable home...a soft bed...food in my belly...and a "ball of fur" showing me love without getting anything in return. These things seem like a given, but they are not for so many. Take a moment to think about what you are thankful for. The next time you dread going to the gym, take a moment and be happy that you are able. We can always be thankful as long as we can draw breath...because as long as we are breathing...we are alive. And as long as we are alive, we can work to improve ourselves.

Thanks Buddha.

...B( . )( . )Bs...

2011-04-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm a private person. It doesn't seem like it, because I do A LOT of talking and seem like an open book...and I AM...it's just I don't share EVERY page. I'm like an onion with many layers. It takes a lot of time and determination to get to the center. It also takes the ability to withstand the "tears" that go along with peeling an onion. I haven't found many people strong enough to get to the center.

I recently posted a picture (see below) on the "Strong is the new skinny" Facebook page that was meant to be motivational. I think most people found it to be, however...some criticized it because the fitness model clearly has implants. Others criticized the fact that in THEIR opinion, she was near perfection, yet they felt it contradicted the quote. My sister...that does NOT have implants...but IS part of the SINS community...brought the comments to my attention. She was surprised at how judgmental some of the comments were...as was I. Actually, I wasn't surprised...I was disappointed.

So here's where the whole "onion thing" comes back in to play...(drum roll)

I have implants. THERE! I SAID IT!

Although most people assume, I have never publicly admitted to that. I am blessed to come from a long line of "well endowed" women. Boobs are NOT in short supply in my family and I was no exception. I was a full C/small D when I was thin and flying out of a double D when I was heavy or breast feeding babies. Unfortunately, after I had three children, breast fed the last two, and lost 70 pounds...I was left with nothing...and when I say nothing...I'm not kidding. I didn't care that I didn't have big boobs anymore, in fact it was kind of nice to have a break from carrying those "girls" around. Unfortunately, I looked borderline disfigured so I went to see a few doctors about getting a lift and small implants.

I found a conservative doctor that I trusted and within 2 weeks, I was on the operating table. I ended up with boobs smaller than my "original pre baby/weight gain" boobs and I was satisfied with that. My recovery was difficult. I developed severe scar tissue around one implant that lifted it up high on my chest and was VERY painful. I could not even raise my arm up to shoulder height on that side. It had nothing to do with my doctor. It was MY bodies reaction to a foreign object. It was so bad that my plastic surgeon went back in and it took three hours for him to scrape the scar tissue that had built up around the implant in just a couple of months. It was a painful, scary recovery that we were not sure was going to work. The fear was that my body would make even more scar tissue following the second surgery and I would then have to have the implant removed for six months until my body could heal and we could try again. You can imagine how devastating and disfiguring that would have been.

That was one of the lowest points for me. I felt alone...wondering if I had made the right decision...feeling cheated that other women have surgery and recover with no problems. It was especially hard because NO ONE knew. I kept it a secret. Only my immediate family and a few of my closest friends that I completely trusted. I felt that I couldn't even tell my in-laws, because I knew I would be talked about incessantly and judged.

Some people may wonder why I kept it a secret. Is it because I wanted people to think I look like this "naturally"? Is it because I was ashamed of my decision? The answer to both of these questions, is "NO!". I was afraid of ridicule and judgement. I didn't want people to focus on JUST my boobs. That's why I went SO conservative with the size. I didn't want to hear the catty comments like "She only looks like that because she had surgery!" or "She's so shallow and only cares about how she looks!" or have people pay attention to or focus on what I was wearing or how my boobs looked. In my mind, it was reconstructive surgery.

So you can see why these comments made on Facebook (all direct quotes taken from the list of 42 comments) would get me fired up!

"How about posting pictures of real women with real boobs?!"

"It ruins the genuineness of being naturally fit when one has implants. I like working out and being muscular but I want to keep my curves. I have seen women who are very fit but you still need some fat or it will make you appear older than you are especially on the face."

"Not hating on...just my opinion. It's irritating to see blogs about acceptance about not being "perfect" and 99%+ of the time there is a picture to illustrate what "perfect" supposively looks like. It sends out mixed messages. I feel the same way about fake hair and fake nails."

""Do what you can with what you have." But she didn't, with her boobs. :P"

"I agree on the mixed message. Yes its an inspirational quote and yes that women is gorgeous, fit, and strong and it's not about the realness of her breasts that bothers me. Associating a photo of a woman who is damn near perfect in my vie...w while claiming "none of us are perfect" is really frustrating and counter productive. In a culture where women are beaten down by trying to achieve "perfection" and obsessed with body image, I would like to see this group champion what real, average, STRONG women look like. That lady is HOT and good on her, but that's not the reality of what us average gals looks like, even when we work our asses off."

"Okay- is this the message I'm supposed to get from this? "Do what you can, where you are with what you have.... But if you're not happy with what you HAVE, get a boob job." The message does not match the phrase AT ALL, it in fact contradicts it!!"

Obviously, there were many comments that were positive, but these few negative comments really bothered me and so I wanted to share my story and put my two cents worth in...because REALLY I could care less what people think of implants. That's not why these comments bothered me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's not about me personally or a debate on implants in general. What it IS about...is acceptance...or lack thereof. Here was MY initial response:

"I try not to take things personally and I've sat on my response for a day because I didn't want to make people mad, but I'm ready to speak my mind and deal with the consequences. Implants DO NOT ruin the "geniuneness of being naturally fit"... NOR does this image contradict this phrase. It disappoints me that we preach acceptance of something that is different and of all shapes and sizes but rag on implants or the appearance of "perfection". Be accepting of ALL. It's easy to say "Hey let's be nice and accept people on the journey or that are not near perfection." but it's tough to accept people that look good or do things to enhance their body. If you don't like fake boobs, don't get em...but don't judge people that do. If you wanna have an opinion, fine...but don't GENERALIZE and be hateful. It's wrong and I don't want that here on our page."

So there you have it...the truth about me and how I feel about this. It was hard for me to share something that I wanted to keep private, but I felt like I needed to do it in order to explain where I'm coming from. Do I think people have judged me or will judge me because of my boobs? Yes. Do I regret my decision to get implants...even with the complications? No. It was right...for ME. I don't expect anyone to change their opinion on fake boobs because of me. I think everyone has the right to their opinions whether I like it or not. I do not however think people have the right to judge and bash on people because they don't agree with their decision and then generalize it out to everyone else. I think it's harder sometimes to accept people that look good...maybe even better than we do...than it is to accept people that don't. It takes true confidence to not see our own failures when others succeed.
It takes true strength to be able to accept EVERYONE. It doesn't matter whether or not you are buff. It doesn't matter where you choose to workout or how you choose to workout. What matters is that everyone is trying to be their best in their own way.
Forget about the b( . )( . )bs and focus on being strong!

...wHy DO i tRaiN?...

2011-04-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

I was alone...in the parking lot of the gym...doing my favorite thing to do...sweating, flipping the big tire, swinging the sledge hammer, running...in a nutshell, I was suffering through a long, grinding workout outside filled with a lot of hard work. I noticed a roofing guy that had pulled up at the building next to us, noticing me and watching what I was doing. That's normal. People are curious. Sometimes they slow down and stare as they drive by. It's understandable. It's different from what most people do.

I have always been the kind of person that does not like people to talk to me when I'm in pain or concentrating or working out really hard by myself. I do things to discourage it, like not making eye contact and wearing headphones with loud music blaring. Ever so often, someone will be oblivious to these signals...my imaginary wall if you will...and talk to me. Such was the case today.

I was struggling with the tire and saw the two guys up on the roof at the edge wanting to engage. I ignored them. Finally one started to wave his hands and yell. "Damn! What the hell dude?!?! I guess I better see what this guy wants so I can get back to my workout!" That was the thought in my head. Outwardly, I took my headphones off, looked up with a fake smile, and had a short conversation that went a little something like this:

Roof guy: Hey! I've been watching you and you look like you're workin real hard.

Me: (courtesy laugh) Yes, I am.

Roof guy: What are you training for?

Me: Uhhh...nothing in particular. I'm just working out...trying to stay strong and fit.

Roof guy: (with a completely perplexed look) Oh...okay.

He proceeded to ask me questions about the gym and then warn me that I may want to move, because they were about to power wash the roof and didn't want to spray me with all the crap up on the roof. I told him about Crossfit and what we do at our gym and then thanked him for warning me and moved my stuff to the back lawn.

When I was done with my workout, I got into my car and headed towards home. My back was tired and sore. My sweat was getting on my leather seats making it uncomfortable. I was hungry and had a slight headache. I was tired, but felt good about what I had accomplished. As I drove, I replayed the conversation in my mind. I then asked MYSELF..."What AM I training for? Why do I do what I do? Because if the only reason I do it is to look good or fit in a small pair of jeans, there are easier ways to accomplish that." It only took the 10 min drive home for me to compile a list in my head that was much more in depth than the answer I gave the roofing guy. Some reasons are fluffy and some are serious, but they are all what motivates me.

THIS is why/what I'm training for...

I'm training because it makes me strong...physically AND mentally. It makes me tough and gives me the ability to face any struggle that comes my way. Sometimes, like today, I start a workout and think "There's no way I can finish this!" but I do and it has taught me that nothing is too hard. I may not get through it as quick as I'd like...but I WILL get through it if I don't give up. I guarantee you that if you were in a flood and needed someone to stack sandbags with...you'd want ME on your "team".

I'm training so that when people ask my age and I tell them, they continue to say "No way! You can't be 41!" It's my "fountain of youth".

I'm training to set an example for my kids. I want to teach them the importance of being strong and capable...not just with words, but through my actions as well. I want to show them that sometimes, you have to take time out for yourself so that you have something better to offer the people you love. I train to show them that it's important to love yourself and take care of your body.

I train because I'm addicted to the adrenaline and the sweat and the struggle and the accomplishment in the end. It is my drug of choice. I crave it and it always makes me feel good.

I train to prove that anyone can be strong and to show other women that they too can accomplish things they never thought they could. I'm not a former athlete. I was not blessed with natural athletic talent. I was however blessed with a spirit that can't be broken and a will to press forward. If I can do it...ANYONE can.

I train because it teaches me things about myself...both good and bad. It highlights my strengths and exposes my weaknesses. I will never be a world champion at anything, but it gives me the opportunity to improve myself daily...to become the best possible version of myself.

It's sad to me that some people haven't learned the lessons that I have by experiencing the things that I have experienced in the gym. I wish that everyone knew the feeling of power that I feel when I squat or lift or press more weight than I thought I could or than I did the week before. I wish that everyone could feel the joy and accomplishment and pride that I feel when I finish a particularly hard workout. I wish that everyone knew just how much potential we each have within us all.

I would encourage anyone that reads this to sit and think about WHAT you are training for. Share it with people around you. You never know, you may lead someone else to make discoveries about themselves they never would have. Today was not the first time I've been asked "What are you training for?", but today was the first day that I really stopped to think about it. I wish I had given better answers today, but that's okay, because next time I'm asked that question...I'll be ready.

...tHe RaCe...

2011-03-30T07:23:00.001-07:00

"Life ain't a track meet. It's a marathon." That's a line from one of my favorite rap songs to run to. I agree with that to some extent, but sometimes I think life is more easily compared to a war with lots of battles leading up to the end. To win the war, we have to go through smaller battles...some we win and some we lose. To get to the end of a marathon or even a race for that matter, we have to make it through one mile at a time or one lap around the track at a time. It's easy to confuse small victories or losses as being the end, but I know that winning one battle does not win a war and running one mile faster than anyone else does not win a marathon. On the flip side, losing one battle or tripping and falling during a race does not mean it's over either.

I could write a long flowery post with great comparisons and metaphors, but today...I think less is more. I will let this video speak for itself and close with just this...

When you fall...get up. When you want to give up...don't. It is up to YOU to decide how your race will end. Will you lie there on the track and give up? Or will you get up and keep running?

...dOn'T bE a CiRcUs eLePhAnt...

2011-03-23T06:36:00.000-07:00

I loved taking my kids to the circus when they were very little. It was so much fun to watch their faces light up as they watched all the amazing stunts and shows and see them laugh at the clowns. We've been to a big circus and we've also been to a small traveling circus, so the acts and animals varied, but I've never been to a circus that didn't have an elephant. About a year ago, I learned how circus elephants are trained. When I heard the process by which they are trained...it made me kinda sad for the elephants...but it also helps me put some things in my life and in the lives of people that I train into perspective. I was reminded of this as I talked to a new client last night...disappointed that she isn't losing massive amounts of weight after two sessions in the gym. I could feel a sense of helplessness arising in her and as I reassured her, it made me think about the phenomenon of "learned helplessness".Obviously, elephants are very powerful animals...and much stronger than humans. They have the power to escape from the circus...it's just that they don't know it. The elephants are caught when they are very young and they are chained to strong stakes that are driven deep in the ground. They struggle and fight to free themselves but the chain is too strong. Eventually, the elephant realizes that it can't break free and it quits trying. From that day on, the elephant believes that it cannot free itself as soon as it feels any resistance at all. In fact, a circus elephant can be tied to a small flimsy stake with a thin piece if rope and it will not try to escape because it has been conditioned to believe that it is powerless. This is called "learned helplessness".Elephants are not the only creatures that can be conditioned this way. Humans can as well. If a person is told how worthless they are...over and over and over again...soon they will believe that they are. If people tell you that "you can't"...or shouldn't...enough times...eventually you won't even try. I wonder to myself, "Can those elephants ever be untrained?". I wonder if it's possible for them to realize their strength and their ability to go where they want to go. My guess would be that it isn't possible after a certain amount of time.I grew up feeling like I couldn't...like I would fail. There were things that I went through that hurt me...times when like that baby elephant...tied to a strong stake...I truly was helpless. So I became conditioned...trained if you will...and many times...even after I was grown and able to make my own choices and have power...I behaved like a circus elephant. I have the power to tear free and do whatever I want to do, but I rarely tried because I worried that I would fail. As soon as I faced resistance...I felt helpless. I worry that I have been conditioned to fail..to lose...to give up...but I will say this...as sad as that may sound and as hard as that cycle is to break...I have become so much better than I use to be...than I thought I could ever be. When I began training with my friend, he brought things out in me that surprised me...glimpses of strength...moments of feeling like a winner. It was a priceless gift...a gift that I would like to pay forward to other people that I train.

I think that just like the circus elephant...I will always have some small form of "learned helplessness" that can hold me back at times. I can't change what has happened to me, but I CAN try hard to build other people up...to in a sense free them from the heavy chains before they learn to feel helpless. I want my children, the people that I train, and anyone that reads this to know that many times, the things holding us back...making us feel helpless are actually very small or even imagined. Just as the grown elephant can easily break free from the small stake, we have the power within us to make changes. I want to teach others and MYSELF never to give up or feel helpless because we each have the strength to fight against ANY resistance that comes our way.